66!
!
I met him and told him I needed to buy some tramadol. He told me ok. That’s how it
started with heroin. He says that’s ok but I’m going to get some heroin. I remember
saying ‘Oh my God. I want this’. So I went with him and was planning to sniff it, and
after we go. He tells me, ‘give me your hand’. I saw the syringe and I hate the syringe,
since I was a kid, I am very scared of needles. I said no, but he said ‘we have to share it
since I put both our shares in the needle’. So I had to take it, and I was afraid, but when I
took it. I asked for more, I liked it so much.153
This introduction to heroin was just the start of his self-described addiction, which for the
next five years came to control most aspects of his life. For example, when asked about
the how he obtained illicit drugs he described the difficulty and great lengths he would go
through in order to obtain his “fix”. He explained:
It’s available here (Cairo), but it’s too expensive. If you want a cheap price you have to
go to the desert. I’d go walking, sometimes I didn’t have a car, so I would go by the bus,
and go down the road about two kilometers, it was a long way. And I would go there and
get humiliated by ‘Bedouin Drug Dealers’, they knew you were addicted. So they treat
you like a junkie, garbage. And you cannot say anything.
Despite this you kept going?
I couldn’t stop, no one can stop. You are going there and there are five ‘Bedouins’
standing with machine guns and one is staying on the ground with a balance in front of
him. I would go alone. It’s about 120 Egyptian Pounds for a gram in the desert. In the city
you pay 200 pounds for a gram and its not still not a gram exactly, maybe about 8-7
gram. Desert stuff is perfect […] I’m not a rich man, and I’m not poor. I’m in the middle,
so I can’t afford heroin, I don’t have enough money. So I was selling drugs. I had to so I
can get my dosage and that’s one of the consequences that didn’t let me quit. If you want
this high again, you have to take more dosage.154
Thus, Muhammad came to identify himself as a drug addict, but this personal recognition
is just the starting point for describing the stigma and marginalization that shaped his
interactions within Egyptian society.
Eventually, the label of drug addict came to influence and reach most aspects of
his life as his family and society uncovered his deviant drug use. When asked how his
family found out about his drug use he explained:
I think they knew for a long time, but they were not sure. They finally knew when, one
day I took some heroin from a friend to sell. I told him there’s a guy waiting for it and I’ll
come back with the money. So I took it, but went to the pharmacy and got some syringes,
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
153 Muhammad, interview by author, Gutierrez, January 23, 2015. I met and
conducted several interviews with Muhammad. These interviews are used throughout this
chapter and their dates include; January 23, February 12, April 14, and May 22, 2015.
154!Ibid.!