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About the book
Unlock the art of impactful coaching with *Coaching
Questions*, a comprehensive guide by master coach trainer
Tony Stoltzfus, alongside 12 professional coaches. This
invaluable resource focuses on the essential skill of asking
powerful questions, providing readers with an array of tools,
models, and strategies to enhance their coaching practice. With
nearly 1,200 real-world examples and insights into common
pitfalls to avoid, this book covers everything from
fundamental techniques to advanced concepts like reframing
and challenge. Additionally, it includes a four-part
life-purpose model and tailored resources for 15 popular
coaching niches. Equip yourself with the skills to become a
true "Master of Asking" and elevate your coaching journey.
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About the author
Tony Stoltzfus is a renowned coach, author, and trainer who
has made significant contributions to the field of coaching
through his extensive work in personal and professional
development. With a rich background that encompasses over
two decades of coaching practice, Stoltzfus has written several
influential books and resources aimed at equipping coaches
with the tools to facilitate transformative conversations and
insights. He is particularly known for his expertise in
inquiry-based coaching, which emphasizes the power of
questions in unlocking potential and fostering growth.
Additionally, Tony’s work extends to training aspiring
coaches, equipping them with the skills necessary to navigate
the complexities of human behavior and relationships
effectively. His commitment to coaching excellence and his
passion for helping others is evident in his writings and
workshops, making him a respected figure in the coaching
community.
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Summary Content List
Chapter 1 : Why Ask?
Chapter 2 : Become a Master of Asking
Chapter 3 : Top Ten Asking Mistakes (and How to Correct
Them)
Chapter 4 : A Marketing Plan in Five Questions
Chapter 5 : Starting Significant Conversations
Chapter 6 : Effective Comp Sessions
Chapter 7 : Client Profile Form
Chapter 8 : Coaching Session Structure
Chapter 9 : Session Prep Form
Chapter 10 : Choosing a Coach Training School
Chapter 11 : Conversational Models
Chapter 12 : The GROW Model
Chapter 13 : The Coaching Funnel
Chapter 14 : The Coaching Agenda
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Chapter 15 : The Life Wheel
Chapter 16 : Defining the Problem
Chapter 17 : SMART Goals
Chapter 18 : Probing Questions
Chapter 19 : Options
Chapter 20 : Action Steps
Chapter 21 : Identifying Obstacles
Chapter 22 : Overcoming Obstacles: Seven Strategies
Chapter 23 : Design: Who Am I?
Chapter 24 : Passion: What Motivates Me?
Chapter 25 : Experience: Life's Prep School
Chapter 26 : Calling: Serving the Greater Good
Chapter 27 : The Gap: What's Missing?
Chapter 28 : Tolerating/Coping
Chapter 29 : Self-Care
Chapter 30 : Affirmation
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Chapter 31 : Decision Making
Chapter 32 : Motivation/Habit Change
Chapter 33 : Challenge
Chapter 34 : Reframing/Perspective Change
Chapter 35 : Reflection
Chapter 36 : Feedback and Evaluation
Chapter 37 : Small Business Coaching
Chapter 38 : Organizational Coaching
Chapter 39 : Career Coaching
Chapter 40 : Organizing Coach (Professional Organizer)
Chapter 41 : Coaching Writers (Book Coaching)
Chapter 42 : Wellness Coaching
Chapter 43 : Relationship Coaching
Chapter 44 : Coaching Ministry Leaders
Chapter 45 : Cross-Cultural Coaching
Chapter 46 : Additional Resources
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Chapter 1 Summary : Why Ask?
Section Summary
Introduction to
Asking Asking questions in coaching is valuable for encouraging thought, motivating action, and fostering
collaboration, transforming interactions and enhancing capabilities.
Redefining
Relationships Coaching questions shift the dynamic between coach and coachee to equality, enhancing respect and
valuing insights, leading to richer conversations.
Practical Reasons
for Asking
All Information with the Coachee: The coachee is the expert of their experiences.
Creates Buy-In: Personal investment leads to higher motivation for change.
Empowers Individuals: Questions boost confidence and facilitate decision-making.
Develops Leadership Capacity: Encourages responsibility and proactive engagement in
problem-solving.
Creates Authenticity: Genuine questioning fosters trust and appreciation in relationships.
Conclusion Asking questions is essential in coaching for building trusting relationships that promote growth,
leadership, and personal transformation.
Coaching Questions: The Power of Asking
Introduction to Asking
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Asking questions in coaching holds significant value as it
encourages thought, motivates action, and fosters a
collaborative relationship. Rather than imposing answers,
questions empower individuals to engage creatively with
their circumstances, fundamentally transforming their
interactions and enhancing their capabilities.
Redefining Relationships
When a coach asks questions, the dynamic between the coach
and the coachee shifts. The coach steps down from a position
of superiority to one of equality, enhancing mutual respect
and valuing the coachee's insights. This approach promotes
deeper listening and reduces the dominance of one's own
perspectives, leading to richer conversations.
Practical Reasons for Asking
1.
All Information with the Coachee
: The individual has an intimate understanding of their
experiences, making them the primary expert in their own
context.
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2.
Creates Buy-In
: Motivation for change is linked to personal investment;
coachees are more likely to act on their own solutions than
on those provided by a coach.
3.
Empowers Individuals
: Asking questions can bolster confidence, as it conveys
belief in the coachee's ideas and abilities, facilitating their
decision-making processes.
4.
Develops Leadership Capacity
: Encouraging coachees to contemplate solutions for
problems fosters a sense of responsibility and leadership,
pushing them towards proactive engagement.
5.
Creates Authenticity
: Genuine questioning and active listening cultivate trust and
value in relationships, allowing for transformative changes as
individuals feel seen and appreciated.
Conclusion
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Example
Key Point:Empowering through Inquiry
Example:Imagine sitting across from your coach,
feeling uncertain about your next career move. Your
coach doesn't tell you what to do; instead, they ask,
'What would success look like for you in this role?' This
question invites you to reflect deeply on your
aspirations, enabling you to articulate your vision rather
than simply following someone else's advice. By
exploring your own thoughts and feelings, you feel
empowered and more confident in your decisions,
transforming the coaching experience into a
collaborative journey.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:The art of questioning in coaching can
sometimes overshadow the necessity for clear
guidance.
Critical Interpretation:While Tony Stoltzfus emphasizes
the transformative power of asking questions to foster
individual empowerment and engagement, it is essential
to consider that not all individuals may benefit equally
from this approach. Some coachees may require a more
directive style of coaching that provides clear
frameworks and guidance, particularly in situations
where they lack foundational knowledge or skills.
Critics of purely inquiry-based coaching suggest that
excessive questioning can lead to confusion or
indecisiveness, as seen in studies on decision-making
processes (e.g., Janis & Mann, 1977). Therefore, it is
crucial to evaluate when to employ questioning versus
providing structured support, as the effectiveness of
these methods can vary depending on the context and
the individual’s unique needs.
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Chapter 2 Summary : Become a Master
of Asking
Section Description
Master of Asking A 10-week self-study program focused on improving coaching question skills, featuring weekly peer
sessions and exercises for practice.
Debriefing
Procedure Structured process post-session including:
Coachee: Reflects on session experience.
Coach: Identifies strengths and areas for improvement.
Both: Discuss key lessons learned.
Working with a
Peer Coach Collaborating with another coach enhances skills through accountability; suggestions include finding
peers in training programs or coaching networks.
Master of Life
Coaching A suggested additional 10-week program focusing on practical life coaching applications, with specific
weekly exercises including:
Week 1 Life Purpose Inventory
Week 2 Dream Inventory/Fun List
Week 3 Ideal Life
Week 4 Creating and Refining Value Statements
Week 5 Destiny Experiences
Week 6 Whom Will I Serve and Finding Purpose in Suffering
Week 7 Take It or Leave It
Week 8 Energy Drains and Toleration
Week 9 Difficult Conversations
Section Description
Week 10 Significant Experiences
Become a “Master of Asking”
The "Master of Asking" schedule is designed as a ten-week
self-study program focused on enhancing your skills in
asking coaching questions. Each week includes a peer
session lasting 60 to 75 minutes, where participants practice
coaching each other. Additionally, there are weekly exercises
to apply skills with friends, family, or clients.
Debriefing Procedure
To maximize learning from each session, a structured
debriefing process is recommended:
-
Coachee
: Reflect on the experience of the coaching session.
-
Coach
: Identify strengths and areas for improvement.
-
Both
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: Discuss key lessons learned from the interaction.
Working with a Peer Coach
Collaborating with another coach can significantly refine
your skills, as both parties hold each other accountable.
Those in coach training programs can easily find peers within
their cohort. For independent learners, joining coaching
networks or groups, or teaming up with a friend interested in
coaching, can provide valuable practice.
Become a Master of Life Coaching
For those wishing to deepen their life coaching skills, an
additional ten-week program with a peer coach is suggested,
with specific weekly exercises aimed at practical application:
-
Week 1
: Life Purpose Inventory
-
Week 2
: Dream Inventory/Fun List
-
Week 3
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Example
Key Point:The importance of practice in coaching to
master asking insightful questions.
Example:Imagine sitting across from a peer, discussing
your week and reflecting on how you navigated tough
conversations. You ask, 'What did I learn when I felt
challenged by my client’s reluctance to engage?' As
your peer listens attentively, they help you explore
deeper, guiding you to insights you hadn’t considered.
This scenario illustrates how regular practice with
structured debriefings allows you to analyze what
worked and what didn’t, ultimately enhancing your
ability to ask profound, transformative questions that
drive meaningful change.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:The importance of structured peer
feedback in mastering coaching skills
Critical Interpretation:Stoltzfus emphasizes a systematic
approach to developing coaching skills by engaging in
peer sessions and reflective debriefing. While this
method advocates for accountability and practice, one
must question if structured formats can fit all
personality types and learning styles, as evidenced by
research in education that highlights the diversity in
adult learning preferences (Knowles, 1973; Kolb, 1984).
Critics may argue that rigid frameworks could stifle
creativity and adaptability in real-life coaching
scenarios.
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Chapter 3 Summary : Top Ten Asking
Mistakes (and How to Correct Them)
Mistake Description Solution
Closed Questions Limit responses and hinder conversation
flow. Convert closed to open questions using "what" or
"how".
Solution-Oriented
Questions (SOQs) Disguise advice as questions, limiting
exploration. Follow your curiosity and ask broad open questions
instead.
Seeking the “One True
Question” Search for a perfect question, losing
momentum. Trust the process and use simple prompts like "Tell
me more."
Rambling Questions Dilute clarity, leaving clients confused. Think before speaking; embrace silence to formulate
clear questions.
Interpretive Questions Project the coach's interpretations onto
clients, eroding trust. Use the client’s own words in questions to maintain
clarity and focus.
Rhetorical Questions Assert judgments instead of inviting
discussion. Reset your attitude to encourage open
communication.
Leading Questions Subtly steer clients towards specific
answers. Offer multiple options or present contrasting views
in your questions.
Neglecting to Interrupt Allows clients to stray off-topic. Politely interject to refocus the conversation on the
main issue.
Interrupting Frequent interruptions can be disrespectful
and frustrating. Count to two before responding to ensure the client
has finished speaking.
“Why” Questions Can make clients defensive by challenging
motives. Rephrase “why” questions to “what” questions to
foster a safe dialogue.
The Top Ten Asking Mistakes [And How to Correct
Them]
This chapter highlights common mistakes coaches make
when asking questions and provides solutions for
improvement.
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1. Closed Questions
Closed questions limit responses and hinder conversation
flow.
-
Solution:
Convert closed to open questions using "what" or "how".
2. Solution-Oriented Questions (SOQs)
SOQs disguise advice as questions, limiting exploration.
-
Solution:
Follow your curiosity and ask broad open questions instead.
3. Seeking the “One True Question”
Beginners often search for a perfect question, losing
conversational momentum.
-
Solution:
Trust the process and use simple prompts like "Tell me
more."
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Chapter 4 Summary : A Marketing Plan
in Five Questions
Key Question Description Action Step
THE PRODUCTS: What
do you have to offer? - Identify your strengths and
skills.
- Determine your niche and
focus area.
- Assess what services people
are willing to pay for.
Create a list of services with features and pricing, offering
various price points and upsell opportunities.
THE TARGET
AUDIENCE: Who will
you serve? - Consider who is already
attracted to your services and whom
you want to coach.
- Identify individuals in need of
your offerings.
Develop an ideal client profile including demographics
and preferences, and list five venues where this audience
gathers.
KEY DISTINCTIVES:
Why would they want
your services? - Understand the needs of your
target audience.
- Determine what makes you
credible and distinctive.
List the top five reasons clients would choose you and
validate these with feedback from representative
individuals.
THE PITCH: How will
you get your message
across? - Plan how potential clients will
discover you and learn about your
services.
Formulate a strategy to reach your audience through
advertising, networking, referrals, etc., and outline your
communication approach.
THE PLAN: When will
you start? - Outline your action plan and
timeline for launching your practice.
Develop a step-by-step action plan with target dates for
each phase of your launch process.
A Marketing Plan in Five Questions
This section outlines five key questions that help design a
coaching practice, identify a niche, and create an effective
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marketing program. This framework can also be useful for
mentor-coaching or assisting other professionals.
THE PRODUCTS: What do you have to offer?
- Identify your strengths and skills.
- Determine your niche and focus area.
- Assess what services people are willing to pay for.
*Action Step:* Create a list of services with features and
pricing, offering various price points and upsell
opportunities.
THE TARGET AUDIENCE: Who will you serve?
- Consider who is already attracted to your services and
whom you want to coach.
- Identify individuals in need of your offerings.
*Action Step:* Develop an ideal client profile including
demographics and preferences, and list five venues where
this audience gathers.
KEY DISTINCTIVES: Why would they want your
services?
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- Understand the needs of your target audience.
- Determine what makes you credible and distinctive.
*Action Step:* List the top five reasons clients would choose
you and validate these with feedback from representative
individuals.
THE PITCH: How will you get your message
across?
- Plan how potential clients will discover you and learn about
your services.
*Action Step:* Formulate a strategy to reach your audience
through advertising, networking, referrals, etc., and outline
your communication approach.
THE PLAN: When will you start?
- Outline your action plan and timeline for launching your
practice.
*Action Step:* Develop a step-by-step action plan with
target dates for each phase of your launch process.
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Example
Key Point:Identifying your unique services and
target audience is crucial for a successful coaching
practice.
Example:Imagine you’re sitting at your desk,
brainstorming your coaching offerings. You start jotting
down the skills that energize you, like active listening or
goal setting. Then, you think about who would benefit
most from these services—perhaps busy executives or
new entrepreneurs. You visualize crafting a tailored
package that resonates deeply with their needs. As you
develop your ideal client profile, you refine your niche,
positioning yourself as the go-to coach for this specific
group. This targeted approach makes your marketing
efforts more effective, as you articulate your distinct
value in a way that truly connects with those you aspire
to help.
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Chapter 5 Summary : Starting
Significant Conversations
Section Summary
Starting Significant
Conversations Coaching questions enhance conversations from superficial to meaningful by exploring topics of
genuine interest.
Icebreakers Initiate conversations using a standard question followed by a probing question to foster
connection. Example: “How are you today?” followed by “What makes today a fine day?”
Significant Questions Deep questions facilitate impactful discussions and can be applied in various contexts like
coaching and networking.
Significance Examples: “What’s the most significant thing that’s happened in your life in the last month?”
Identity Examples: “Tell me a story from your life that would give me a picture of who you really are.”
Deepest Desires Examples: “What’s your dream? If you could do anything with your life, what would you do?”
Conversation Starters for
Organizational Leaders Encourage leader discussions with questions like “What was the best thing that happened this
month in your sphere of influence?”
Exercise: Conversation
Starters Distribute questions in a group, allowing pairs to practice asking significant questions in turns for
engagement.
Starting Significant Conversations
Coaching questions can elevate everyday conversations from
superficial exchanges to meaningful discussions. Instead of
common queries like “How are you?” or “What’s new?”
consider asking about topics that genuinely interest you. This
approach encourages deeper, more engaging conversations.
Icebreakers
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Use icebreakers to initiate conversations with new
acquaintances. A helpful technique is to ask a standard
question and follow up with a more probing question.
Examples include:
- “How are you today?” followed by “What makes today a
fine day?”
- “What do you do for a living?” then “What do you like best
about your job?”
By revealing something about yourself first, you create a
connection and encourage the other person to share.
Significant Questions
These types of questions delve deeper into a person’s
thoughts and feelings, facilitating impactful conversations.
They can be employed in various contexts such as coaching,
networking, and personal discussions. Key categories and
example questions include:
Significance
- “What’s the most significant thing that’s happened in your
life in the last month?”
- “What is on your mind this week?”
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Identity
- “Tell me a story from your life that would give me a picture
of who you really are.”
- “Name two or three of your best strengths.”
Deepest Desires
- “What’s your dream? If you could do anything with your
life, what would you do?”
- “If you had unlimited resources, what would you most want
to do?”
Be cautious, as significant questions can catch someone off
guard. It may be wise to seek permission before using
coaching techniques on close family or friends.
Conversation Starters for Organizational Leaders
For leaders, consider these questions to stimulate
discussions:
- “What was the best thing that happened this month in your
sphere of influence?”
- “If you could change one thing about your company, what
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would it be?”
Exercise: Conversation Starters
To practice starting significant conversations, distribute
questions among participants in a group. Have them pair up,
each asking a significant question in turn for three minutes.
Afterward, they can switch partners and repeat the exercise,
fostering engagement and interaction.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:The importance of asking significant
questions during conversations.
Critical Interpretation:While the book posits that
transitioning from mundane to significant conversations
enhances interpersonal connections, this viewpoint
might not universally apply. Different cultures and
personalities often prefer varying depths of exchange;
for some, small talk is foundational to building trust.
Renowned communication theorist Edward Hall in "The
Hidden Dimension" argues that context and cultural
background deeply influence conversational dynamics,
suggesting that what works in one scenario or culture
may fail in another. Relying solely on the author's
prescribed method could inadvertently alienate those
more comfortable with predictability and casual
interactions, emphasizing the need to adapt
conversational techniques to the audience.
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Chapter 6 Summary : Effective Comp
Sessions
Section Description
Effective Comp
Sessions Complimentary coaching sessions that enable potential clients to explore coaching and its fit for them.
1. Connection Building a personal connection through genuine curiosity and active listening; understanding the client’s
background and motivations.
2. Motivation Encouraging clients to articulate desires for change and frustrations; uncovering key challenges and
aspirations to shape the coaching agenda.
3. Presentation Discussing client expectations and the coaching process; sharing personal experiences to clarify how the
coach can meet the client's needs.
4. Information Providing practical details about the coaching process, including meeting frequency, structure, expectations,
and payment information.
5. Decision Inviting clients to commit to coaching while emphasizing their autonomy, checking for information needs,
and exploring readiness to proceed.
Comp Session
Exercise Practicing comp sessions with peers for feedback on communication and client perception to improve
effectiveness, particularly in creating a welcoming atmosphere.
Effective Comp Sessions
Most professional coaches offer a brief complimentary
coaching session, known as a comp session, to potential
clients. This approach allows prospects to explore coaching
and determine if it's right for them. The goals of a comp
session include building connection, exploring motivation,
presenting coaching options, providing necessary
information, and securing a decision.
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1. Connection
Building chemistry with the prospective client is essential in
forming a strong coaching relationship. By expressing
genuine curiosity and actively listening, coaches can create a
personal connection. Key questions to foster this connection
include understanding the client's background and
motivations for seeking coaching.
2. Motivation
The heart of the comp session revolves around the client's
motivations. Coaches should encourage clients to articulate
their desires for change and address any frustrations.
Engaging questions can help uncover the client’s key
challenges and aspirations, shaping the coaching agenda and
helping them recognize the value of coaching.
3. Presentation
After exploring the client's needs, coaches should discuss
expectations and the coaching process. Sharing personal
coaching experiences and insights can clarify how coaches
can meet the client's needs. Providing value during this step
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Chapter 7 Summary : Client Profile
Form
Section Details
Client Profile Form Required for new clients before initial appointment, tailored to coaching niche and
session style.
Purpose of Client Profile
Change agenda
Needs
Values
Desired future
Assessment results
Examples of Profile Questions
Life Purpose
Outline your life purpose
Assess alignment with current roles
Identify dreams for the next 5-10 years
Values and Priorities
Identify importance in life/business
Evaluate eight basic life areas
Determine fundamental values
Establish current priorities and objectives
Self-Knowledge
Review personality assessment results
List strengths and weaknesses
Highlight self-appreciation points
Note significant life changes
Needs
Identify sense of need
Detail challenges
Recognize energy-draining factors
Specify areas feeling stuck
Coaching Agenda
Outline possibilities for exploration
Identify strengths and skills for enhancement
Define desired outcomes
Section Details
Express growth areas
Articulate desires from the coach
Creating a Customized Client Profile
Form
Select relevant questions from examples
Add contact information fields
Format on letterhead for professionalism
Client Profile Form
Many coaches require new clients to complete a personal
profile prior to their initial appointment, tailored to the
specific coaching niche and session style.
Purpose of Client Profile
The profile may include questions regarding:
- Change agenda
- Needs
- Values
- Desired future
- Assessment results
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Examples of Profile Questions
*Life Purpose*
- Outline your life purpose. What were you made to do?
- Assess how well your current roles align with your purpose
and strengths.
- Identify important dreams to pursue in the next five or ten
years.
*Values and Priorities*
- What holds the most importance in your life or business?
- Evaluate the eight basic life areas: career,
family/relationships, health, money, spirituality, personal
development, recreation, and physical environment to
identify key concerns.
- Determine fundamental values influencing your decisions.
- Establish your current priorities and short-term objectives.
*Self-Knowledge*
- Review results from any personality assessments (e.g.,
DiSC, Myers-Briggs) and insights gained.
- List important strengths and any weaknesses.
- Highlight five things you appreciate about yourself.
- Note significant life changes from the past six months.
*Needs*
- Identify your greatest sense of need.
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- Detail challenges you wish to address.
- Recognize energy-draining factors you wish to eliminate.
- Specify areas where you feel stuck.
*Coaching Agenda*
- Outline possibilities you want to explore in early sessions.
- Identify strengths to build on and skills to enhance.
- Define tangible outcomes desired from coaching.
- Express areas where you seek growth and shifts in thinking
patterns or beliefs.
- Articulate what you most desire from your coach.
Creating a Customized Client Profile Form
To design a customized Client Profile Form:
- Choose relevant questions from the examples provided.
- Add standard contact information fields.
- Format it on your letterhead for a professional touch.
This comprehensive form can facilitate meaningful coaching
sessions and foster deeper client-coach relationships.
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Example
Key Point:Understanding your client deeply
enhances the coaching relationship.
Example:Imagine walking into a coaching session and
your coach already knows your life’s purpose, values,
and the challenges you face; this knowledge fosters trust
and enables tailored guidance that resonates with your
personal journey. As you discuss your dreams and
priorities, the conversation feels more like a partnership,
with the coach leveraging insights from your
personalized profile to address your unique needs and
aspirations, ultimately leading to more effective and
impactful coaching experiences.
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Chapter 8 Summary : Coaching Session
Structure
Section Description Examples
Opening
Chat/Care
Questions
The initial phase where an open-ended question encourages
the client to share personal issues affecting the coaching
process.
What's been the highlight (or low-light)
of your week?
What's the most interesting thing that is
going on with you right now?
What's the most significant thing that's
happened with you since we last met?
What's new that you'd like to share?
Progress
Report A brief overview of the action steps agreed upon in the
previous session to track progress.
Give me a brief progress report on your
action steps.
Bring me up to speed on what you've
accomplished since we last met on your action
items.
Set Agenda Discuss follow-up actions from the previous session, new or
continuing action steps, and coaching goals.
Which action steps from last time do we
need to create follow-up steps for?
Are there any of these steps we need to
discuss further?
What do we need to focus on today to
keep you moving toward your goals?
What is on your agenda today? What do
we need to make sure we talk about?
Review
Action Items Review the agreed-upon action steps to ensure clarity and
mutual understanding.
Give me a run down of the action steps
you've listed just to make sure we both have
them.
So—what are your action steps for this
next week?
Chat
Questions Prompt various queries to facilitate conversation, address the
agenda, and establish accountability for action steps. Various queries and conversational models
like GROW may be used.
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Coaching Session Structure
Opening Chat/Care Questions
The initial phase of a coaching session involves starting with
an open-ended question to encourage the client to share what
is currently on their mind. This can help reveal significant
personal issues that may affect the coaching process.
Examples of opening questions include:
- "What's been the highlight (or low-light) of your week?"
- "What's the most interesting thing that is going on with you
right now?"
- "What's the most significant thing that's happened with you
since we last met?"
- "What's new that you'd like to share?"
Progress Report
This segment entails a brief overview, typically lasting three
to five minutes, of the action steps agreed upon in the
previous session. Reviewing these steps allows both the
coach and client to ensure clarity and keep track of progress.
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Coaches may either create a list of action items after each
session or ask clients to prepare and send their lists. Sample
prompts include:
- "Give me a brief progress report on your action steps."
- "Bring me up to speed on what you've accomplished since
we last met on your action items."
Set Agenda
In this part of the session, any follow-up actions from the
previous session are discussed, along with any new or
continuing action steps. It also includes revisiting overall
coaching goals to maintain momentum. Questions to guide
this conversation may include:
- "Which action steps from last time do we need to create
follow-up steps for?"
- "Are there any of these steps we need to discuss further?"
- "What do we need to focus on today to keep you moving
toward your goals?"
- "What is on your agenda today? What do we need to make
sure we talk about?"
Review Action Items
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This final section involves reviewing the agreed-upon action
steps to ensure clarity and mutual understanding. Sample
questions are:
- "Give me a run down of the action steps you've listed just to
make sure we both have them."
- "So—what are your action steps for this next week?"
Chat Questions
Throughout the session, different queries can be raised to
facilitate conversation, address the agenda, and establish
accountability for action steps. Various conversational
models, such as GROW, can also be employed to structure
discussions effectively.
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Example
Key Point:Establishing a structured coaching session
promotes clarity and accountability among clients.
Example:Imagine sitting in your coaching session and
starting with a question like, 'What's been the highlight
of your week?' This simple opener sets a relaxed tone,
inviting you to reflect and share personal insights that
might be on your mind. You might realize that a recent
challenge at work is influencing your motivation. With
this understanding, your coach then transitions to
reviewing your progress on the action steps we
discussed last time, asking for updates on your goals. By
clearly outlining what needs to be addressed today, the
session remains focused, ensuring you leave with a
renewed sense of direction and commitment to your
targets. This structure nurtures a supportive
environment, vital for your growth and accountability.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:Coaching Session Structure
Critical Interpretation:The structure outlined in Tony
Stoltzfus' 'Coaching Questions' emphasizes a methodical
approach to coaching that prioritizes client dialogue and
accountability. However, while such a framework can
undoubtedly facilitate clarity and progress, it may not
adequately capture the complexity of individual client
experiences. Critics like Richard Schwartz, founder of
Internal Family Systems, argue that adhering strictly to
structured questioning can overlook the nuances of a
client's emotional landscape, potentially leading to
missed opportunities for deeper insight and connection.
Such structured methods must be balanced with
flexibility to adapt to the unique needs of clients,
suggesting that the author's viewpoint may not
universally apply to all coaching scenarios.
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Chapter 9 Summary : Session Prep Form
Section Content
Session Prep Form An effective tool for enhancing coaching sessions through pre-appointment questions.
Benefits of Using a Session
Prep Form
Eliminates the need for progress reports during sessions
Enhances understanding of the client's situation
Provides structure for client reflections
Prepares clients for meaningful engagement
Creating a Personalized
Session Prep Form Select a question from each category for a unique prep form.
Accomplishments/Celebration
"What have I accomplished since our last session?"
"What are my wins or victories since we last met?"
"What am I thankful for this week?"
Challenges
"What challenges am I facing right now?"
"What's going on in my life right now that I want to talk to my coach about?"
"What obstacles have I run into since we last met that I want to troubleshoot?"
Accountability
"Briefly list your progress on each of your action steps."
"What did I not get done, but want to be held accountable for?"
"What tasks have I completed or made progress on? Where did I get stuck?"
Outcomes
"What do I need to focus on today to keep moving toward my goals?"
"How do I want to use my coach today?"
"What do I want to get out of this session?"
Client Profile and Prep Form
Exercise Consider implementing both forms. Spend 30 minutes developing forms and use the
Client Profile as an action step for new clients. Transition to the Session Prep Form by the
second appointment.
Note Some questions contributed by Jerome Daley, www.PurposeCoach.net.
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Session Prep Form
An effective tool for enhancing coaching sessions is the
Session Prep Form, a set of questions that clients complete
before their appointments to reflect on recent developments.
Benefits of Using a Session Prep Form
- Eliminates the need for progress reports during sessions
- Allows the coach to understand the client's situation more
thoroughly
- Provides structure for client reflections and reporting
- Prepares clients to engage meaningfully in sessions
Creating a Personalized Session Prep Form
Select a question from each category to develop a unique
prep form.
Accomplishments/Celebration
- Questions to capture client achievements since the last
session include:
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Chapter 10 Summary : Choosing a
Coach Training School
Question Description
1. Who do you want to
coach? Identify your target audience as different schools cater to specific niches (business leaders,
therapists, etc.).
2. What learning style suits
you best? Consider training methods like academic programs or workshops and choose one that aligns
with your learning preferences.
3. What can you afford? Evaluate program costs in relation to your potential success; don't compromise on quality for
cheaper options.
4. What kind of credential do
you need? Understand the credentialing requirements for your coaching area; ICF is prestigious but may
not be the only option.
5. Do you share their values? Assess the coaching school's core values to ensure alignment with your personal principles
before committing.
Choosing a Coach Training School
Selecting the right coaching certification program can be
challenging. Here are four critical questions to consider when
making your decision:
1. Who do you want to coach?
Identify your target audience, as different schools cater to
specific niches—business leaders, therapists, career coaches,
or ministry coaches. Training in your chosen specialty will
provide relevant tools and language.
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2. What learning style suits you best?
Consider various training methods, such as academic
programs, workshops, tele-classes, or one-to-one instruction.
Each has its own pros and cons, and you should choose a
format that aligns with how you learn best.
3. What can you afford?
Evaluate the cost of the program in relation to your potential
success. Saving money now could result in a prolonged
struggle if the training does not meet your needs.
4. What kind of credential do you need for your
target audience?
Understand the credentialing requirements within your
desired coaching area. While the International Coach
Federation (ICF) is prestigious, other credentials may be
more relevant depending on the context (e.g., academic or
ministry).
5. Do you share their values?
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Chapter 11 Summary : Conversational
Models
Section Summary
Conversational Models Clients set the agenda while coaches manage the conversation through questions that promote
deeper thinking and solutions, considering time and direction.
Key Challenges for
Beginning Coaches New coaches often find it difficult to balance client engagement and awareness of conversational
elements; conversational models help navigate these challenges.
Predefined Structures
for Coaching Various models guide coaching, such as the GROW model (Goal, Reality, Options, Will) for
practical issues and the Coaching Funnel for self-discovery and decisions.
Mastery Over Models Coaches should focus on mastering one model at a time for effective engagement and presence
during sessions.
Utilizing Models in
Coaching Encounters Conversational models enhance brief coaching encounters, providing clear structure for effective
communication.
Exercise:
Conversational Models
Practice
Coaches should practice selected models in various settings, aiming for ten repetitions to build
mastery.
Highlighted Models GROW Model, Coaching Funnel
Conversational Models
It's the client's responsibility to set the agenda for a coaching
session, while the coach manages the conversation to reach
the desired outcome. Coaches facilitate this process by
asking questions that encourage deeper thinking and solution
development, all while being mindful of time and the
conversation's direction.
Key Challenges for Beginning Coaches
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New coaches often struggle to balance engagement with the
client and awareness of broader conversational elements.
Utilizing conversational models can aid in navigating these
complexities, guiding the coach step-by-step towards
effective solutions and actions.
Predefined Structures for Coaching
Various models exist to guide coaching conversations. One
well-known model is GROW:
-
GROW Model
: This acronym stands for Goal, Reality Check, Options, and
Will. It begins with establishing a Goal, assessing the current
Reality, generating Options for action, and finally
committing to those actions in the Will step. This model is
most effective for addressing practical performance issues.
-
Coaching Funnel
: Visualizing a funnel, this model starts narrow (specific
goal), broadens to explore the situation and options, then
narrows back to actionable steps. The Coaching Funnel is
particularly useful for self-discovery and decision-making.
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Mastery Over Models
Coaches are encouraged to focus on one conversational
model at a time, developing proficiency before moving on to
others. Mastery allows for greater presence and engagement
during sessions.
Utilizing Models in Coaching Encounters
Conversational models can enhance short coaching
encounters, allowing for efficient and directed conversations
even in brief interactions. These models serve as a clear
structure, making coaching comprehensible to those
unfamiliar with it.
Exercise: Conversational Models Practice
Coaches should select a model and practice it in various
settings throughout the week. This could be in professional
environments or personal conversations, with the goal of
engaging in ten repetitions to facilitate mastery.
Highlighted Models
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:The reliance on structured models may
limit a coach's adaptability to individual client needs.
Critical Interpretation:While the chapter emphasizes the
effectiveness of structured coaching models like GROW
and the Coaching Funnel, one must critically examine
whether such frameworks can indeed accommodate the
diverse complexities inherent in human coaching
dynamics. Over-reliance on these models might hinder a
coach's flexibility to tailor their approach based on the
specific context and personality of individual clients.
Research in social sciences, particularly in counseling
and psychology, suggests that a more integrative, fluid
approach to client interaction may bear greater fruit, as
highlighted in the work of Carl Rogers on
person-centered therapy. Therefore, while structured
models provide a foundational guide, they should not
overshadow the importance of empathetically
understanding client needs and situational variables.
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Chapter 12 Summary : The GROW
Model
The GROW Model in Coaching
The GROW model is a widely utilized conversational
structure in coaching that stands for Goal, Reality Check,
Options, and Will. This four-step process guides the coachee
from setting a clear objective to assessing their current
situation, exploring potential solutions, and establishing
actionable steps to achieve their goal. This model focuses on
practicality and is particularly effective for addressing
outward goals such as habit changes and performance
improvements.
1. Goal
The goal defines the desired objective. It should be specific
and measurable to facilitate effective coaching. Important
questions at this stage help clarify the coachee’s intentions:
- What do you want to discuss?
- What outcome defines success for you?
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- How can we make the goal measurable and time-bound?
2. Reality Check
This step involves assessing the current situation objectively.
Questions should draw out concrete facts rather than
subjective opinions, aiming to establish a factual basis for
change:
- How often did you engage in that activity last week?
- What is your current weight or sales figure?
- What actions have you taken so far?
3. Options
During this phase, the focus shifts to generating creative
solutions. The coachee should be encouraged to think
independently rather than relying heavily on the coach’s
suggestions. Key questions aim to facilitate brainstorming:
- What potential solutions can you identify?
- If resources were unlimited, what would you attempt?
- What have you seen others do that could inspire your
actions?
4. Will
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Chapter 13 Summary : The Coaching
Funnel
The Coaching Funnel
The Coaching Funnel is a structured model for coaching
conversations, designed to facilitate exploration and
self-discovery before deciding on action steps. It follows a
systematic approach, starting from a specific goal to broad
exploration, then narrowing down to options, decisions, and
actions.
Step 1: Goal
- Define a clear, one-sentence goal using the S.M.A.R.T.
criteria.
- Keep the goal focused for ongoing reference.
- Utilize the "Listening for Significance" technique to
identify key points in the client's discussion.
Goal Questions
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- What do you want to achieve through coaching?
- How will you measure progress towards your goal?
- What specific change do you wish to see in a defined time
frame?
- How can you phrase your objective to focus solely on your
actions?
Step 2: Exploration
- Explore the context and underlying factors related to the
goal.
- Probing questions help uncover both external and internal
aspects of the situation.
Exploration Questions
- Can you provide more details about your situation?
- What past experiences have shaped your current feelings?
- Who or what are significant in this situation?
Step 3: Options
- Encourage creative thinking to develop multiple potential
solutions.
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- Build on insights from the exploration phase to generate
new options.
Option Questions
- What actions can you take to progress towards your goal?
- Can you identify other possible solutions?
- What previous experiences can inform your current
options?
Step 4: Decision
- Assist the client in selecting a specific option that aligns
with their goal preference.
- Utilize the "Could Do>Want to>Will Do" framework to
ensure commitment.
Decision Questions
- Which options resonate most with you?
- Which solution will most effectively help you reach your
goal?
Step 5: Action
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- Translate the chosen solution into specific, actionable steps.
- Ensure the client articulates commitments and sets clear
timelines for accountability.
Action Step Questions
- What concrete steps will you take and by when?
- How will you address potential obstacles before you
proceed?
The Coaching Funnel provides a comprehensive structure for
coaching sessions, fostering collaboration and reinforcement
of client responsibility towards their goals.
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Example
Key Point:The Coaching Funnel enhances
self-discovery and accountability in achieving
personal goals.
Example:Imagine you’re sitting in a coaching session,
feeling a bit overwhelmed by a career transition. With
the Coaching Funnel, you first clearly articulate your
goal: 'I want to get a promotion in six months.' As you
delve deeper, your coach prompts you with targeted
questions, helping you explore your motivations, past
experiences, and the influences around you. This
exploration leads to brainstorming several actionable
options, like taking on additional projects or seeking
mentorship. Finally, you decide on the most resonant
option and commit to specific steps, such as updating
your resume and networking with leaders in your field.
This structured approach not only clarifies your path but
also instills a sense of ownership over your progress.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:Coaching Funnel's Structured Approach
Critical Interpretation:While the Coaching Funnel offers
a disciplined framework for guiding clients through
their goals, it is important to question whether such a
structured methodology may inadvertently limit
creativity and personal exploration in coaching
interactions. By emphasizing a linear progression from
goal-setting to action, some clients may feel constrained
or pressured to conform to predetermined paths rather
than exploring their unique challenges more holistically.
This viewpoint is supported by studies on experiential
learning and non-linear thinking, such as David Kolb's
Experiential Learning Theory, which suggest that
effective learning and growth often emerge from
flexibility and adaptability in the coaching process.
Thus, while the funnel can serve as a useful guide,
incorporating more open-ended and adaptive
questioning could yield deeper insights.
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Chapter 14 Summary : The Coaching
Agenda
The Coaching Agenda
One of the initial steps in a coaching conversation involves
determining the topic of discussion, driven by the client's
needs. A well-structured coaching agenda can be
remembered using the acronym O.P.U.S., which includes
four essential characteristics:
-
Ownership
: The goal should be the client’s own idea, ensuring their
commitment.
-
Passion
: There should be evident energy and motivation towards the
goal.
-
Urgency
: The client should feel a compelling need to act
immediately.
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-
Significance
: The goal must be meaningful and worth the effort.
Looking Forward
To help clients establish an agenda, consider asking:
- What do you most want to discuss today?
- What can we work on that would make the most significant
impact for you?
- What's currently capturing your attention in life?
- Where do you seek more fulfillment or less stress?
- If you were to embrace change fearlessly, what would you
pursue?
- How fulfilled do you feel in personal areas of life, and
where do you desire more?
- Share a longstanding dream you wish to chase.
- What would be most beneficial to focus on right now?
Clients may begin with concrete requirements but often
unveil deeper issues over time, necessitating trust and open
dialogue.
Leaving Things Behind
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Engaging clients often involves addressing obstacles,
including:
- What hinders you from living your desired life?
- What essential elements are missing from your life?
- If you could eliminate one burden in the next month, what
would it be?
- What changes would you make if you could alter any aspect
of your life?
- Where do you feel stuck or frustrated?
- Which area of your life motivates you the most to make
improvements?
Organizations and Leadership
For clients in leadership positions, relevant questions might
include:
- Where do you envision your organization in a year?
- What is your current growth edge as a leader or for your
organization?
- What brings you the most joy and stress in leadership?
- What changes do you want to see in the next 90 days?
- What is crucial for elevating your organization to the next
level?
- What obstacles prevent you from excelling in your market?
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:The importance of a structured coaching
agenda in fostering client commitment and clarity.
Critical Interpretation:While Stoltzfus emphasizes the
role of ownership, passion, urgency, and significance in
establishing coaching agendas through the O.P.U.S.
framework, it's crucial to acknowledge that this method
might not suit every coaching scenario or individual.
For instance, some critics argue that the rigid structure
may overlook the nuanced needs of clients who prefer a
more fluid conversational style or who may not initially
grasp what they genuinely want to discuss. This raises
questions about the universality of the O.P.U.S.
approach; adherence to a singular model might limit a
coach's ability to adapt to diverse client dynamics.
Supporting literature, such as 'Coaching with the Brain
in Mind' by David Rock and Linda J. Page, suggests that
coaching techniques should be flexible and responsive
to the emotional state and preferences of clients,
indicating that while Stoltzfus's structured method offers
valuable guidance, adaptability is equally vital for
fostering effective coaching relationships.
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Chapter 15 Summary : The Life Wheel
Life Wheel Assessment Overview
The Life Wheel is an assessment tool used by coaches to help
clients evaluate their satisfaction across various life areas and
identify where to focus their efforts for improvement.
Key Components of the Life Wheel
The assessment includes eight essential life areas:
1.
Work
: Career satisfaction and expectations
2.
Money
: Financial values and situations
3.
Living Environment
: Evaluation of home and workspace
4.
Personal Growth
: Self-improvement and learning opportunities
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5.
Health and Recreation
: Self-care practices
6.
Community
: Social life and community involvement
7.
Family
: Family dynamics and satisfaction
8.
God
: Spiritual life and relationship with God
Using the Life Wheel Assessment
Clients rank their satisfaction in each area, followed by
in-depth discussions using targeted questions to uncover
insights and motivation for change. Suggested prompts
include:
-
Work
: Discuss job satisfaction, changes needed, and expectations
versus reality.
-
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Chapter 16 Summary : Defining the
Problem
Defining the Problem
In coaching, identifying the right problem is crucial. Clients
may focus on managing time and tasks, but underlying
personal needs or hidden values often sabotage their efforts.
To dive deeper into the real issue, the following questions
can be useful:
- "What is the most important problem you want to solve?"
- "What would make a lasting difference?"
- "How does this connect with your overall life objectives,
values, and dreams?"
- "What's behind this?"
- "What makes this change difficult?"
One-Time Problem or Pattern?
Coaches must discern if a problem is a one-time issue or a
recurring pattern. Busy clients may believe completing a
project will alleviate their schedule, but this might be
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unrealistic. Questions to explore this include:
- "What obstacles to change have you faced in the past?"
- "Is this the first time dealing with this challenge?"
- "Is this a recurring struggle for you?"
Relying solely on a strong commitment or discipline can lead
to a "brute force approach," which often does not result in
lasting change.
Circumstance or Attitude?
Clients often seek to modify their external circumstances
instead of their internal responses. Questions to help shift
perspectives include:
- "Do you need to change your situation, or your response to
it?"
- "On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your
attitude?"
- "What aspects are within your control to change?"
Symptom or Cure?
Clients may work on symptoms rather than core issues.
Coaching should focus on uncovering true problems.
Techniques include:
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- Trying simple solutions first to see if they address the real
issue.
- Posing questions that encourage a desire for a permanent
solution versus temporary coping strategies, like imagining a
scenario where they never need to discipline themselves in
that area again.
- Exploring motivations driving their behaviors.
Defining the Problem Exercise
Clients can identify challenges in their lives by exploring:
1. Whether it's a one-time issue or a pattern.
2. If the problem stems from circumstances or attitudes.
3. Whether they are addressing symptoms rather than root
causes.
This exercise can be advantageous when done with a peer
coach for enhanced introspection.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:Identifying the root problem in coaching
is essential for effective change.
Critical Interpretation:Stoltzfus emphasizes that coaches
should delve into underlying issues beyond
surface-level problems. However, one could argue that
focusing too much on root causes may overlook
immediate practical solutions necessary for clients'
situations. Personal development literature, such as 'The
7 Habits of Highly Effective People' by Stephen Covey,
shows that urgent tasks can sometimes be prioritized
without addressing deeper issues. This approach may
suggest that while examining underlying problems is
vital, balancing it with actionable steps could provide
immediate benefits.
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Chapter 17 Summary : SMART Goals
SMART Goals
SMART Goals are concise future objective declarations that
clients commit to achieving. They serve as a vital guide for
both coaches and clients, ensuring focus and accountability
throughout the coaching process.
Components of SMART Goals
1.
Specific
Clearly articulate the objective:
- Define exact accomplishments and the desired outcome.
- Establish a sensible time frame for achievement.
- Focus solely on the destination without delving into the
means of getting there.
2.
Measurable
Include quantifiable criteria for success:
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- Determine how to measure progress and define terms like
"more balanced life" in a specific way.
- Create measurable objectives to track advancement.
3.
Attainable
Ensure the goal is reachable and dependent solely on the
client:
- Assess if the goal is realistically achievable.
- Identify and address any barriers preventing success.
- Rephrase the goal to rely only on the client's actions.
4.
Relevant
Confirm the goal's significance to the client:
- Explore the importance of the goal and its priority in the
client's life.
- Discuss commitments and sacrifices required to pursue
the goal.
- Use a scale to gauge the goal's personal importance.
5.
Time-Specific
Set a firm deadline for achieving the goal:
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- Define a clear timeline for reaching the objective or
establishing habits.
- Specify start dates and final deadlines for accountability.
Conclusion
Utilizing the S.M.A.R.T. framework facilitates the creation of
effective goal statements, ensuring clarity, accountability,
and focus in the coaching relationship.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:The reliance on the SMART goals
framework may overlook the complexity of personal
growth and development.
Critical Interpretation:While the SMART goals structure
offers a clear path for defining objectives and measuring
progress, it can be argued that personal development is
often non-linear and affected by various external factors
beyond an individual's control. Critics of the SMART
approach suggest that the rigid framework might
constrain a client’s ability to adapt and evolve their
aspirations in response to changing circumstances,
emphasizing that not all meaningful progress can be
quantified. Furthermore, sources such as Robert Kegan's
"Immunity to Change" (2009) argue that deeper
psychological factors often influence personal
transformation, making strictly structured goals
potentially limiting.
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Chapter 18 Summary : Probing
Questions
Probing Questions
Probing questions are essential in the early stages of
coaching conversations. They help uncover the client's
situation more thoroughly and encourage deeper examination
of their circumstances. Engaging in this exploration often
leads to solutions simply through structured thinking rather
than immediately jumping to options.
Key Characteristics of Probing Questions
-
Open Questions
: Effective probing questions cannot be answered with a
simple "yes" or "no." They allow clients to provide varied
responses, guiding the discussion toward what truly matters
to them.
Broad Questions
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Broad questions are particularly useful for coaches as they
allow clients to dictate the conversation's direction based on
their priorities. For example, instead of asking "What did you
say in reply?" which restricts answers, one might ask "How
did you respond?" This encourages clients to consider more
than just their verbal response and delve into their emotions
or actions.
Exercise: Broaden Your Questions
To enhance questioning skills, coaches should practice
broadening narrow questions, transforming them to elicit a
wider range of answers.
Playing the Angles
Exploring different perspectives aids in uncovering new
insights. Questions can be organized around various angles
including:
-
The Past
: Inquire about previous experiences and their impact.
-
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Chapter 19 Summary : Options
Options in Coaching
Generating options is a crucial coaching skill that encourages
coachees to think creatively rather than rely on the coach for
solutions. Here are five techniques to help coachees develop
their options:
The Five Options Technique
- Coachees often stop generating solutions after two or three
attempts, leading to creative blocks. By encouraging them to
brainstorm at least five options, coaches help them return to a
creative mindset.
- Suggested questions include:
- "Give me five options for how you could tackle this
challenge."
- "If you got really radical, what would you try?"
- Follow-up questions can help expand on initial thoughts.
- Coaches should facilitate rather than provide solutions,
ensuring the coachee is actively engaged.
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Obstacle Approach
- This method identifies barriers preventing coachees from
achieving their goals and develops options to overcome these
obstacles.
- Questions to explore include:
- "What is stopping you from reaching that objective?"
- "What resources could you tap into to overcome this
obstacle?"
Ideal Future Technique
- Coachees visualize their best possible outcomes, which
helps them move past current limitations.
- Steps involve:
1. Identifying a goal or dream.
2. Visualizing the achievement of that goal in detail.
3. Working backward to determine actionable steps toward
that future.
Transformational Approach
- Focuses on internal changes that can lead to outward
transformations.
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- Questions explore potential changes in attitudes or
responses to challenges.
- Examples include:
- "What could change about you that would change your
situation?"
- "If this situation was a gift for your growth, what would
the opportunity be?"
Thinking Outside the Box
- Coaches help coachees recognize when they are limited by
unacknowledged boundaries and encourage exploration
beyond these constraints.
- Strategies include questioning assumptions about resources,
circumstances, and internal beliefs.
Conclusion
By employing these techniques, coaches can guide coachees
to identify numerous creative solutions, overcome obstacles,
visualize ambitious futures, facilitate personal
transformations, and think beyond self-imposed limitations.
Each of these approaches empowers the coachee to find their
path forward.
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Chapter 20 Summary : Action Steps
Action Steps Model: Could Do > Want To > Will Do
The goal of a coaching conversation is to establish actionable
steps that facilitate progress towards the client's objectives. It
is essential to transition from possibilities to committed
actions through the following model:
1. Could Do:
Utilize option questions to explore possibilities (e.g., "What
else could you do?").
2. Want To:
Prompt the client to select an option ("Which option do you
want to pursue?").
3. Will Do:
Seek commitment to a specific action step ("Tell me exactly
what you will do, by when").
This structured approach encourages exploration,
decision-making, and commitment, ensuring strong buy-in
throughout the process.
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Exercise: Practicing the Model
Collaborate with a peer coach to tackle a practical problem,
utilizing the "Could Do > Want To > Will Do" framework.
Discuss the importance of the "Want To" step and the
potential repercussions of omitting it.
Insurance for Action Steps
Incomplete action steps can undermine confidence and
hinder future efforts. Coaches should aim for feasible steps
with a high success likelihood. To address potential
obstacles, consider questions like:
- "Are there any obstacles we need to address?"
- "On a scale of one to ten, how confident are you about
completing the step?"
- "What changes could enhance your chances of success?"
Equivocation
Vague language can indicate a lack of commitment to action.
Use specific questions to clarify commitment, such as:
- "Are you ready to commit to that step?"
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- "What would help you make a decisive choice?"
The Four Tests of an Action Step (CD2)
Effective action steps should possess these four
characteristics:
-
Clarity:
Clear understanding of what to do.
-
Datebook:
Can be scheduled at a specific time.
-
Commitment:
A personal commitment to carry out the action.
-
Deadline:
A set completion date.
Progress Report Guidelines
To maintain accountability, begin each session with a
progress report. Key guidelines include:
1. Conduct it at the session's start.
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2. Use the client’s action step list.
3. Cover all action steps but revisit those needing follow-up
later.
4. Limit the report to three to five minutes.
Progress Report Questions
- "Give me a brief progress report on your action steps."
- "What updates do you have since our last meeting?"
Final Exercise: Action Step Evaluation
Review previous action steps and assess their alignment with
the four tests of an action step (CD2). Identify any
shortcomings and establish plans for improvement in future
sessions.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:The importance of commitment in
coaching conversations
Critical Interpretation:In 'Coaching Questions', Stoltzfus
emphasizes a structured model whereby achieving
commitment is crucial to successful coaching outcomes.
However, while the 'Could Do > Want To > Will Do'
framework offers a systematic approach to transforming
vague possibilities into actionable steps, it may
oversimplify the complexities of human motivation and
behavior. Critics might argue that such a stepwise
format neglects the emotional and psychological
nuances that influence a person's commitment level. It's
essential for readers to consider alternative frameworks
which account for internal resistance or external
pressures that can impact a client's willingness to follow
through with intended actions. Additionally, works like
'Motivational Interviewing' by Miller and Rollnick
highlight the importance of empathetic engagement over
strict adherence to a procedural format, underscoring
that coaching practices should be adaptable to individual
contexts.
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Chapter 21 Summary : Identifying
Obstacles
Identifying Obstacles
Obstacles complicate seemingly simple tasks. When clients
seek assistance with practical changes, they often need to
address hidden obstacles that impede their progress.
Common issues may include resisting others' demands,
neglecting responsibilities for new pursuits, or confronting
work addiction. Change is more complex than it appears; if it
were easy, progress would have already been made.
Obstacles can be external, like time and money, or internal,
such as fears and beliefs.
Questions for Exploring Barriers
*Identifying External Obstacles*
- What is stopping you?
- What makes this hard to get done?
- What do you need that you don't have to reach your
objective?
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- What external factors must your plan consider?
- What historical obstacles hinder similar changes?
- What key obstacle, if addressed, would significantly ease
your goal achievement?
- What resource would make a significant difference?
*Identifying Internal Obstacles*
- What emotions or sensations arise when you consider
making this change?
- Where do you feel stress related to this situation?
- What do you gain from resisting change?
- What risks do you perceive if you change?
- What is your worst-case scenario regarding this change?
- What drives your current responses?
- What underlying beliefs shape your responses and how
effective are they?
- What critical inner voice do you hear regarding this
situation?
Identifying Obstacles Exercise
Engage a friend or peer coach for a 15-20 minute session
focusing on an area where they feel stuck. Utilize the above
questions to guide them toward actionable steps. Identify the
obstacles that surface, note how they were revealed, and
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Chapter 22 Summary : Overcoming
Obstacles: Seven Strategies
Overcoming Obstacles: Seven Strategies
1. Dream Without It
Encourage the individual to envision a scenario where their
obstacle is removed, fostering motivation to pursue their
dream. Sample questions include:
- "Imagine the obstacle is taken care of. How does that
change things?"
- "If you had unlimited resources, what would you do?"
2. Find What Worked in the Past
Reflect on past successes to build confidence and identify
effective strategies. Sample questions include:
- "How did you overcome similar obstacles previously?"
- "What was the turning point in a past challenge?"
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3. Brainstorm Options
Utilize brainstorming techniques to discover actionable
solutions for the obstacle. Sample question:
- "What options do you have to overcome this obstacle?"
4. Walk in the Light
Bring internal obstacles into the open for examination and
discussion, reducing their power. Sample questions include:
- "What are you afraid of?"
- "What’s your worst-case scenario?"
5. Stir Up the Darkness
Encourage facing fears by taking small actions that challenge
them, then reflect on the experience. Suggested activity:
- "Find a small way to confront your fear and journal about it
afterwards."
6. Use Hypotheticals
Explore imaginary scenarios to challenge deep-seated beliefs
without commitment, enabling new perspectives. Sample
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hypotheticals include:
- "What if nothing harmful happened that would impact your
financial reserves?"
- "How would it change your actions if friendships would
deepen after moving away?"
7. Find the Reason
Uncover the rationale behind beliefs and behaviors to
facilitate behavioral change. Sample questions include:
- "What led you to respond this way?"
- "Where did the belief about conflict come from?"
Tackling Obstacles Exercise
Engage in a peer coaching exercise where both individuals
identify and work through their obstacles using the above
techniques, followed by a debrief to reflect on what was
effective and learned.
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Example
Key Point:Dream Without It
Example:Imagine you are sitting quietly, envisioning
your life devoid of all the obstacles that currently hold
you back, like financial worries or a lack of support.
What would you do differently? You can see yourself
pursuing that long-desired career change, feeling
energized and motivated as every limitation fades away.
This visualization not only inspires you to act but also
allows you to layout actionable steps towards achieving
your dreams, fueling your motivation with clarity about
your desires.
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Chapter 23 Summary : Design: Who Am
I?
Design: Who Am I?
Exploring Innate Design
In the journey of self-discovery, individuals already possess
clues about their purpose, derived from various aspects of
their lives. A coach's role is to facilitate the conscious
identification of these cues, organizing them into a coherent
understanding of one's design.
Areas to Explore
Inner Knowing
- Reflect on your intrinsic sense of identity.
- Consider significant moments and past desires that reveal
your purpose.
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Roles
- Evaluate past roles for insights into what fits or does not fit
you.
- Identify responsibilities you enjoy or find draining to
clarify your ideal role.
Experiences
- Assess how life experiences have prepared you for your
destiny.
- Reflect on memorable experiences that fostered a sense of
purpose and connection to your dreams.
Affirmation/Feedback
- Seek input from trusted individuals about your perceived
purpose and accomplishments.
- Recognize relationships that have shaped your
understanding of your destiny.
Personality Assessment
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- Utilize tools like DiSC or Myers-Briggs to identify
personality traits that contribute to your design.
- Gather insights from friends about your standout
characteristics.
Hints & Tips
- Understanding your personality is essential. Consider
certification in personality assessments for enhanced
coaching credibility.
Strengths and Weaknesses
- Identify your strengths and talents, as well as areas where
improvement is needed.
- Reflect on external feedback regarding your abilities to
comprehend your potential impact.
Revelation
- Explore feelings of divine purpose and how they inform
your understanding of destiny.
- Discuss any significant revelations you may have
experienced regarding your personal call.
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Family Influence
- Analyze the impact of familial and cultural legacy on your
sense of purpose.
- Examine themes of destiny passed down through family or
community connections.
Client Exercise: Life Purpose Inventory
- Engage in exercises to summarize insights from the
aforementioned categories.
- This inventory serves as a foundational tool for initiating
the destiny discovery process, illustrating measurable
progress in understanding personal design.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:The emphasis on self-discovery through
coaching may not adequately account for external
societal influences.
Critical Interpretation:While the chapter advocates for
exploring innate design and personal identity cues, it
risks oversimplifying the complexity of human
experience by suggesting that individuals can fully
grasp their purpose solely through introspection. The
frameworks and tools mentioned, such as personality
assessments, could lead to the misinterpretation that
one’s identity is entirely self-derived, neglecting broader
factors like socioeconomic conditions, cultural context,
and systemic barriers that shape individual destinies.
For instance, works by scholars such as Amartya Sen on
capability theory (1999) and Pierre Bourdieu on social
capital (1986) illustrate how external factors profoundly
influence personal development and identity,
challenging the notion that self-discovery is an isolated
process. Therefore, while coaching can be beneficial, it
is crucial for practitioners to consider the complex
interplay of internal and external influences in their
clients' journeys.
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Chapter 24 Summary : Passion: What
Motivates Me?
Passion: What Motivates Me?
This section explores the four key areas to help individuals
identify their core passions:
Passion
- Identify what truly matters to you and what currently
captivates your heart.
- Reflect on what you would prioritize if given limited time
(like a year to live).
- Recognize the issues or causes that provoke strong
emotional responses.
Energy
- Consider activities you look forward to versus those you
avoid.
- Analyze what energizes you and when you feel most alive.
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Fulfillment
- Assess past accomplishments that brought you satisfaction.
- Define what gives lasting satisfaction and a sense of pride.
Changing the World
- Think about impactful changes you wish to make in the
world.
- Explore deep-seated issues that resonate with you
emotionally.
Dreams
Dreams represent potential future objectives and serve as a
tool for self-discovery.
Getting Started
- List dreams across eight life areas: Work, Money, Living
Environment, Personal Growth, Health and Recreation,
Community, Family, God.
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Chapter 25 Summary : Experience:
Life's Prep School
Experience: Life’s Prep School
Experience is crucial in understanding one's life purpose.
Every life event, whether positive or negative, contributes to
a person's destiny. The significance of experiences can be
leveraged, and even failures can serve as qualifications for
future success. Key questions to explore life's experiences
include:
- What has your whole life prepared you to do?
- What experiences have shaped you the most?
- How do your experiences combine to inform your ideal role
or task?
The interplay of nurture and nature highlights the importance
of incorporating all aspects of life into pursuing one's
purpose, channeling passion through both experience and
design in service of a greater calling.
Understanding Failure
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Failures are often overlooked but can be powerful
qualifications, particularly when they lead to redemption. For
instance, personal setbacks can make someone more credible
and relatable when helping others in similar situations.
Important questions include:
- Who has your life prepared you to serve?
- What opportunities have arisen from your mistakes?
- What gifts have your failures provided you?
Work Experience
Work experiences shape destiny and purpose. Reflecting on
career accomplishments and skills can illuminate one's path.
Reflective prompts include:
- What career knowledge or skills do you want to
incorporate?
- What achievements are you most proud of?
- Which skills do you need to fully live out your purpose?
Skills and Abilities
Identifying key skills is vital. Questions to consider include:
- What are your top skills and how useful are they?
- What do people consistently ask you to do?
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- Which unique skills set you apart?
Destiny Experiences
Destiny Experiences refer to specific events that reflect one's
life purpose. It's essential to focus on discrete events rather
than broader roles or periods. To explore these, consider
questions like:
- Give an example of when you felt you were doing what you
were born to do?
- Describe a moment when you felt fully alive.
Analyzing Destiny Experiences
To derive meaning from these experiences, a detailed
examination is required. Questions to guide this analysis
include:
- What happened in your experience?
- Who did you serve and what impact did you have?
- What were the accomplishments and details recalled?
Comparing Destiny Experiences
Finally, comparing multiple Destiny Experiences can reveal
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insights into one’s purpose. Consider:
- What commonalities exist among your experiences?
- What crucial details connected to impact or fulfillment can
you identify?
- What significance do these stories have in relation to your
life purpose?
Through these reflections, individuals can gain clarity on
their calling and inherent strengths.
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Chapter 26 Summary : Calling: Serving
the Greater Good
Calling: Serving the Greater Good
Understanding Calling
Calling is often misunderstood and is a crucial aspect of life
purpose. It is a commission that comes from an external
source, urging individuals to serve something greater than
themselves. Fulfillment is linked to the idea of leaving a
legacy and making a meaningful difference in the world.
Tools for Discovering Calling
Many find their calling through specific needs in society,
personal experiences of injustice, or a relationship with God.
It is noted that calling can emerge at any age and through
various life experiences, aligning with one's passions while
being unpredictable and not easily discernible through
introspection.
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Legacy and Service
Key questions for reconsidering legacy include:
- What legacy do you want to leave behind?
- What life or cause inspires you to make a difference?
- If you could change one thing in the world, what would it
be?
Client Exercise: My Dying Day
Reflect on what you want your legacy to be, significant
accomplishments, and how you would like to be
remembered.
Identifying Who to Serve
A vital part of finding your calling is identifying the people
or causes you feel passionately drawn to serve. Questions to
explore this include:
- Who do you want to help and why?
- What needs or injustices resonate with you?
- What causes ignite your passion?
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Client Exercise: Who Will I Serve?
Create a list of individuals or causes that inspire you,
reflecting on your motivations and contributions.
Finding Purpose in Suffering
Many individuals derive their sense of purpose from their
own suffering or experiences. Exploring how your past
difficulties can enable you to assist others is a productive
path toward understanding your calling.
Tuning Into God
For people of faith, the sense of calling often stems from a
relationship with God, providing a powerful sense of destiny.
Reflective questions can help clarify what one's unique
purpose might be and how to fulfill it in service to others.
In summary, the exploration of calling involves deep
introspection into one's passions, personal experiences, and
the external influences that drive us to serve others for the
greater good.
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Example
Key Point:Recognizing Your Calling Requires
Self-Reflection and Community Engagement
Example:Imagine standing in a busy park on a Sunday
afternoon, watching families picnic and children play.
As you glance around, you feel a stirring within—an
urge to contribute. You think about the struggles you've
faced and realize that you've always had a passion for
helping families navigate their own challenges.
Reflecting on your experiences, you jot down thoughts
about how you might assist others on similar journeys.
Inspired by this realization, you decide to volunteer at a
local organization that provides support to struggling
parents. In doing so, you connect your personal history
with a greater purpose, embodying the notion that our
callings often emerge through self-reflection and a
desire to serve those around us.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:Exploration of calling can be subjective
and multifaceted.
Critical Interpretation:While Stoltzfus posits that calling
inherently ties to legacy and external service, it is
essential to acknowledge that individuals may interpret
their purpose differently based on varied personal,
cultural, and spiritual contexts. For example, research
suggests that not everyone perceives fulfillment solely
through service to others; some may find meaning
through self-actualization or personal success (Frankl,
1946). This breadth of interpretation challenges the
notion of a singular calling and invites readers to
consider their unique journey without rigid expectations.
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Chapter 27 Summary : The Gap: What's
Missing?
The Gap: What’s Missing?
The coaching process often focuses on identifying and
bridging "the gap"—the distance between one's needs and
expectations versus their current reality. This concept of
alignment signifies where daily life diverges from personal
values and life purpose.
Identifying the Gap
Coaches can use various questions to help clients recognize
discrepancies in their lives:
- What is currently missing from your life?
- In which life areas (family, work, home, finances) are you
most and least satisfied?
- Rate your stress on a scale from one to ten. What would a
lower stress level feel like?
- Visualize your workplace and home; what emotions arise?
- What percentage of your time feels aligned with your
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calling?
- Reflect on your ideal capacity—how much of it are you
currently engaging?
- What are three positive aspects of your life, three tolerable
ones, and three that frustrate you?
The Life Wheel Assessment is a useful tool for measuring
satisfaction in various life areas to pinpoint gaps.
Client Exercise: Take it or Leave It
This exercise helps assess the alignment between real life and
ideal life, especially for those who struggle with envisioning
their aspirations.
- Create three columns:
-
Take It
: Aspects of life you love and want more of.
-
Leave It
: Aspects of life that are draining or bothersome.
-
Take It or Leave It
: Neutral aspects without strong feelings.
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Chapter 28 Summary :
Tolerating/Coping
Summary of Chapter 28: Tolerating/Coping
In this chapter, the author discusses the importance of
recognizing and addressing the things we tolerate that drain
our energy and hinder our well-being. It emphasizes the
value of self-reflection and proactive engagement in
improving one’s life circumstances.
Identifying Energy Drains
- Reflect on what annoyances steal joy and energy.
- Consider conflicts, boundary issues, and unresolved
situations in relationships.
- Visualize spaces in your home and identify negative
feelings and unfinished tasks in those areas.
- Assess mental clutter from worries that could be released.
Client Exercise: Energy Drains
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- Maintain a list of energy drains and review it regularly.
- At the end of the week, select three to address and
strategize ways to eliminate or embrace them.
Dealing with Energy Drains
- Challenge clients to find constructive solutions rather than
coping mechanisms.
- Explore the impact of removing these drains and steps to
declutter various aspects of life.
Accepting What You Can’t Change
- Discuss shifting from external changes to altering inner
attitudes.
- Encourage recognizing lessons from difficult experiences
and finding peace with unchangeable circumstances.
Moving in the Opposite Spirit
- Suggest practical actions to counter negative traits or
feelings.
- Encourage joyful activities, acts of service, and recognizing
positive qualities in others to combat feelings of drudgery,
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self-centeredness, fatigue, or frustration.
Coaching Exercise: Toleration
- Partner with a peer to identify tolerations and energy drains.
- Develop action steps to decisively address these issues
together.
This chapter ultimately conveys that proactive reflection can
lead to positive change and an empowered, fulfilling life.
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Chapter 29 Summary : Self-Care
Self-Care
To find fulfillment through serving others, start by asking,
"What do I have to give?" In a fast-paced culture, surviving
often takes precedence over thriving, making self-love
essential for pursuing one's calling.
Stress and Pace
- Assess current stress levels and reflect on past periods of
lower stress.
- Consider the emotional impact of daily tasks and physical
signs of stress.
- Evaluate feedback from close individuals regarding one's
pace.
- Identify motivations for maintaining a high-stress lifestyle.
Making a Change of Pace
- Visualize an ideal pace and daily routine.
- Identify immediate changes to free up time and energy.
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- Determine the most impactful change to reduce stress.
- Analyze how non-priorities end up on the schedule.
Life Balance and Priorities
- Focus on life balance as a key area for coaching.
- Assess your feelings about life balance and prioritize
important over urgent tasks.
- Identify high-priority success areas and those needing more
attention.
- Reevaluate time and money alignment with personal values.
Client Exercises
*Role Playing Difficult Conversations*: Use role-play to
build confidence in setting boundaries with influential
individuals.
*Where to Change*: Map out eight life categories (e.g.,
Work, Personal Growth) on a grid, prioritizing areas needing
attention for change.
Boundaries
- Identify areas needing better boundaries in life.
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- Implement strategies to prevent work from consuming
personal life.
- Overcome obstacles to saying "No" and the cost of not
asserting boundaries.
- Recognize what drives one's willingness to say "Yes"
despite wanting to decline.
- Seek support to find the courage to stand firm on
boundaries.
Wellness Coaching Decisions
Focus on habit change and coping strategies to improve
overall wellness.
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Chapter 30 Summary : Affirmation
Affirmation in Coaching
Introduction to Affirmation
- Affirmation can come naturally or require discipline.
- Three fundamental ways to effectively affirm those you
coach.
Three Methods of Affirmation
1.
Celebrating Progress
- Focus on what the coachee has accomplished.
- Questions to ask:
- What should be celebrated?
- What specific progress has been made?
- How can I affirm the small steps taken?
- Exercise: Identify affirmations in celebrating progress.
2.
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Expressing Belief
- Verbalize confidence in the coachee's capabilities.
- Questions to consider:
- What efforts or commitments do I want to affirm?
- Based on past performance, what future do I envision for
them?
- What potential and skills does this person possess?
- Emphasize belief where the coachee needs it most.
3.
Naming Identity
- Recognize and articulate the coachee's true inner self.
- Questions to explore:
- What character qualities stand out?
- What inner greatness can be acknowledged?
- What is the essence of this person's identity and call?
- Highlight the hidden treasures that may not be recognized
by others.
Conclusion
- Specific, detail-oriented affirmations yield the most impact
and can significantly influence the coachee's self-perception
and confidence.
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Critical Thinking
Key Point:The role of affirmation in coaching and
self-perception is multifaceted and should be
critically examined.
Critical Interpretation:While Tony Stoltzfus emphasizes
the significance of affirmation in coaching for
enhancing a coachee's confidence and identity, one
might argue that over-reliance on external affirmations
could undermine intrinsic motivation. Studies have
shown that while affirmation can boost initial
confidence, it can sometimes create dependency on
external validation rather than fostering self-affirmation
and resilience (Deci & Ryan, 2000). Readers should
consider whether Stoltzfus’s perspective, while
well-intentioned, adequately addresses the need for
balanced self-assurance independent of external praise.
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Chapter 31 Summary : Decision Making
Decision Making
Developing the ability to make great decisions is essential for
a purposeful life. Coach clients by asking questions that
explore their decision-making processes and encourage them
to view decisions from various perspectives. Key questions
include:
- "How will you make that decision?"
- "What factors are most important?"
- "What do you need to know?"
- "What does a great decision look like?"
- "How do you typically make decisions?"
- "What alternative strategies can you explore?"
Thirteen Decision-Making Strategies
Clients may be unaware of their decision-making styles. The
following 13 strategies can help identify familiar and new
approaches:
1.
Rational:
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Pros and cons of each option.
2.
Intuitive:
What does your gut say?
3.
Relational:
Impact on people involved.
4.
Principled:
Alignment with key principles.
5.
Alignment:
Fit with passions and values.
6.
Decisive:
Quick decision-making methods.
7.
Adaptive:
Which decisions can wait?
8.
Counsel:
Input from trusted advisors.
9.
Team:
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Team consensus on the decision.
10.
Spiritual:
Alignment with one's faith.
11.
Negative Drives:
Identifying fears affecting decisions.
12.
Cost:
Time and resources needed versus potential losses.
13.
Risk/Reward:
Assessing payoff versus risks.
Perspectives
Team decision-making benefits from diverse perspectives.
Coaches can guide individuals to consider various
viewpoints:
- How would different personality types approach the
decision?
- What insights can be gained from others affected by the
decision?
- Create scenarios to gauge the decision's impact on different
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stakeholders.
Taking on a New Commitment
When coaching busy leaders, it's vital to assess new
opportunities against their current commitments. Questions
to explore include:
- What excites you about this opportunity?
- What are your concerns and costs?
- How does this align with your purpose?
- What will you stop doing to accommodate this
commitment?
- Can this decision wait?
- Will you regret saying 'Yes' later?
Being vs. Doing
Facilitating a conversation about how the decision shapes the
client's identity can lead to powerful insights. Consider these
reflective questions:
- Who are you becoming through this decision?
- What can you learn about your decision-making process?
- What do your emotions reveal about your inner self?
- What does facing this decision signify about your current
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Chapter 32 Summary : Motivation/Habit
Change
Motivation and Habit Change
Finding motivation to achieve our goals can be challenging,
and even after decisions are made, change often requires
significant effort. The following techniques can assist clients
in reconnecting with their motivation and harnessing the
energy needed to pursue their objectives.
Tools for Increasing Motivation
1.
Reminders
- Acknowledge the importance of becoming aware of
behaviors that need changing.
- Establish reminder systems to support habit change, such
as visual cues or structured apps.
2.
Reconnecting with Your Motivation
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- Use visualization techniques to help clients imagine
achieving their goals, experiencing joy, and celebrating
success.
- Encourage reflection through guided questions that shift
focus from current obstacles to future successes.
3.
Regrets
- Help clients imagine a future without pursuing their goals
to evoke feelings of regret or loss, thus motivating action.
- Use reflective questions about the long-term impact of
inaction to deepen their sense of urgency towards initiating
change.
4.
Rewards
- Implement reward systems for achieving specific
milestones to maintain motivation.
- Ask direct questions about tangible rewards to create
accountability.
5.
Replacement
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- Encourage clients to replace unhealthy habits with
positive activities rather than solely focusing on stopping the
negative behaviors.
- Work with clients to identify fulfilling alternatives that
can fill the void left by eliminated habits.
6.
Accountability
- Highlight the importance of accountability and suggest
partnering with peers who can provide support and
motivation.
- Guide clients to determine what they need from their
accountability partners and how to structure their
accountability practices effectively.
Exercise: Habit Change
- Identify a personal habit to change, establish a reward
system, create a replacement strategy, and figure out
accountability measures.
- After a few weeks, reflect on the effectiveness of each tool
and prepare to share these strategies with clients pursuing
their own habit changes.
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Chapter 33 Summary : Challenge
Challenge in Coaching
*Key Service of Coaches*
Coaches provide a unique challenge to their clients by
focusing on growth and future potential rather than past
mistakes. This forward-looking approach is termed "Positive
Challenge," which encourages clients to realize their full
potential instead of dwelling on shortcomings.
*Methods of Positive Challenge*
Challenging clients gently at first is more effective. Coaches
can start with less confrontational techniques, allowing for a
gradual buildup of challenge if necessary.
Examples of Positive Challenge Techniques
*Transforming Confrontation into Positive Challenge*
- Instead of stating what a decision won't achieve, ask clients
to envision their desired future and evaluate their choices.
- Replace critiques of responses with prompts that encourage
clients to act in ways they would feel proud of later.
- Shift from accusations of selfishness to expressing belief in
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the client's greater potential.
*Asking for More*
Challenge clients to think bigger by suggesting they set more
ambitious goals and push their limits.
*The Open Question Challenge*
Before directly challenging clients, provide them space to
explore their thoughts and feelings about their commitments,
allowing them to self-reflect.
*Using Observations*
Coaches can help clients reconcile inconsistent statements by
presenting observations neutrally and prompting
self-reflection.
*Ownership Questions*
Focus on encouraging clients to take responsibility for past
actions, future solutions, and personal growth through
targeted questions that lead to proactive thinking.
Techniques to Enhance Coaching
*Naming Issues vs. Confrontation*
Naming issues neutrally without assigning blame is more
effective and keeps the dialogue constructive. This
distinction helps differentiate between confronting and
guiding clients in understanding their behaviors.
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Chapter 34 Summary :
Reframing/Perspective Change
Reframing/Perspective Change
Coaching often provides clients with a new perspective on
their lives. When discussing perspective, it encompasses four
key types:
Types of Perspective
1.
Proportion
: The ability to see the bigger picture and understand the
importance and interrelationships of various elements.
2.
Objectivity
: Rational detachment to view situations without emotional
bias.
3.
Viewpoint
: Considering situations from different angles for
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comprehensive understanding.
4.
Clarity
: Confidence in one’s knowledge and ability to take action.
Techniques for Changing Perspective
Coaches can utilize various techniques and questions to help
clients shift their perspectives, which include:
Perspective of Balance
- Explore influences from other life areas affecting the
current situation.
- Assess the importance of the situation in relation to overall
life facets.
- Recognize gratitude and success in life.
Perspective of Time
- Imagine the long-term implications of decisions.
- Reflect on potential regrets or pride at an older age.
- Consider future impacts of current actions on personal life
and goals.
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Perspective of Passion/Purpose
- Frame situations as preparations for one’s true calling.
- Identify what genuinely inspires and drives decisions.
- Examine opportunities in challenges towards destiny.
Viewpoint of Others
- Analyze the situation's effects on people around the client.
- Adopt perspectives of stakeholders to broaden
understanding.
- Challenge the client to articulate counterarguments to their
current stance.
Perspective of Freedom
- Assume agency in changing circumstances.
- Distinguish between controllable aspects and those beyond
control.
- Encourage self-empowerment by re-evaluating the
situation.
Personality Perspectives
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- Utilize insights from personality frameworks to explore
diverse viewpoints.
Perspective of Motives
- Investigate underlying motivations guiding decisions.
- Assess immediate and long-term goals.
- Encourage honesty about driving factors behind choices.
Perspective of Confidence
- Identify options that provide a balanced challenge.
- Envision scenarios of unlimited resources and assured
success.
- Assess the impact of confidence on approach and
decision-making.
Achieving Clarity
Questions aimed at achieving clarity help clients feel
confident in their perspectives:
- Determine what knowledge would provide assurance
moving forward.
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- Reflect on past experiences that fostered confidence.
- Analyze potential consequences of decisions to reinforce
commitment.
Conclusion
This chapter emphasizes the importance of perspective in
coaching, utilizing various reframing techniques and
questions to foster clarity, confidence, and a broader
understanding of life situations for clients.
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Chapter 35 Summary : Reflection
Reflection
Coaching leaders often requires fostering the discipline of
reflection to enhance their learning. Coaches can assist active
leaders in developing strategies that promote reflective
thinking.
Reflective Styles
Identifying a client's preferred reflective style is crucial.
Essential questions include:
- What environment is ideal for your reflection?
- Do you prefer to reflect verbally or through writing?
- What journaling methods have worked for you in the past?
Coaching Exercise: Reflective Styles
Engage with three friends to discover their distinct reflective
or journaling styles and the insights gained from these
discussions.
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Reflection Questions
Reflection questions encourage deeper examination of
thoughts and feelings, such as:
- What drives your responses?
- What do you ultimately want?
- What factors influence your decisions?
- How do unspoken expectations affect a situation?
Solidifying the Learning
When coachees experience significant breakthroughs,
reflecting on how these changes occurred can solidify
learning:
- What led to the breakthrough?
- How can this change be made permanent?
- What principles of change can be derived from this
experience?
Following the Emotion
Emotions can reveal underlying truths. Techniques to explore
emotions include:
- What are your emotions saying?
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- What feelings arise at work?
- How does your body respond in certain situations?
Client Exercise: Learning from a Significant
Experience
To extract deeper insights from experiences, clients can
ponder:
- What were the key events?
- When did you notice something significant was occurring?
- How did your actions shape the outcomes?
- Why did this experience resonate with you?
Probing, Defining the Problem, Options, Reframing
These strategies can facilitate deeper understanding and
exploration of a client's experiences and decisions.
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Chapter 36 Summary : Feedback and
Evaluation
Feedback and Evaluation
Self-Evaluation for Coachees
Coachees can benefit from evaluating their performance in
tasks or roles, as well as their progress towards coaching
goals. Celebrating milestones along the way is crucial.
Suggested questions for self-evaluation include:
- "What did you do well? What would you do differently if
you could do this again?"
- "What progress can we celebrate? What still needs work?"
- "How would you evaluate your progress?"
- "On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your progress
toward your goal, and what step could improve that?"
Feedback for Coaches
Coaches should actively seek periodic feedback from clients
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to foster a healthy feedback process. Key questions for
gathering feedback include:
- "On a scale of one to ten, how helpful was this session?
What improvements can be made?"
- "Are there any adjustments we need to make to fit your
needs better?"
- "Are we focusing on what's most important to you?"
- "What's your emotional state after our sessions?"
Coaching Exercise: Self-Evaluation
Coaches should reflect on a recent session by self-evaluating
with at least four questions and devise an action step for
improvement.
Self-Evaluation for Coaches
Post-session self-evaluation is beneficial. Questions to
consider include:
- "What did I do well, and what could I improve?"
- "How am I adapting my coaching style to the coachee's
personality?"
- "Are we making good progress on objectives?"
- "What intuitive cues should I remember for the future?"
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Chapter 37 Summary : Small Business
Coaching
Small Business Coaching
Overview
Small business owners face numerous challenges, including
employee issues, debt, production deadlines, and equipment
breakdowns, often compounded by the involvement of
family members. In small business coaching, business and
personal aspects are closely linked, with an emphasis on
creating a self-sustaining company while fostering healthy
relationships.
Meaningful Marketing
Marketing can be perceived negatively, but it's essential for
genuine growth. The concept of "Meaningful Marketing" is
introduced, which focuses on truthful and strategic content
that aligns with values and respects prospects and customers.
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Coaching Questions for Marketing
Here are nine questions designed to help create effective
marketing initiatives:
1. Identify your target customer.
2. Describe your target customers' demographics and
personal characteristics.
3. List three to five problems your products or services solve.
4. Determine the biggest problem you solve for your
customers.
5. Identify three to five unique advantages of your products
or services.
6. Highlight the greatest advantage you offer.
7. Outline how customers can contact you.
8. Identify the most strategic first point of contact.
9. Explore where you can use your marketing message
consistently.
Exercise: Creating a Marketing Message
Small business coaches are encouraged to develop a strong
marketing message. This involves synthesizing responses to
specific questions to formulate a concise, impactful
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Chapter 38 Summary : Organizational
Coaching
Organizational Coaching
Organizational Coaching is a systematic approach to
coaching individuals within an organization to facilitate
change. It differs from standard business coaching by
recognizing the organization's culture as a defining
characteristic that influences behavior and performance.
Understanding this culture—its strengths, weaknesses, and
potential—is crucial for a coach to effect change at both
individual and corporate levels.
Assessing Coachability
A key factor in successful organizational coaching is
determining the organization's readiness for change. This can
be assessed by examining its history regarding adaptability to
trends, its risk tolerance, and current motivations for change.
Engaging the most motivated individuals can help foster a
culture of coaching throughout the organization.
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Coaching Questions for Individuals
Coaching individuals involves exploring their alignment with
the organization's purpose. Coaches can ask the following
questions:
- How does your life calling fit with the purpose of this
organization?
- What do you want to accomplish here for yourself and for
the sake of the organization?
- What drives you? What are you passionate about?
Coaching Questions for Leaders
Leaders initiating a coaching culture should consider these
questions:
- What is your purpose for creating a coaching culture in this
organization?
- What is the commitment level to this initiative?
- Is there a budget in place for coaching?
- How can leadership be engaged in this process?
- Where can pilot projects be initiated, and what criteria
should guide their design?
Jane Creswell, MCC, emphasizes the importance of
establishing internal coaching systems within organizations.
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Chapter 39 Summary : Career Coaching
Career Coaching Overview
Career coaching is essential for aligning a client's passions,
skills, and values with their work. With individuals likely to
change careers multiple times in their lifetime and a
significant percentage of workers feeling dissatisfied with
their jobs, career coaching aids in discovering personal
callings and strengths to enhance work fulfillment or manage
retirement.
Key Areas of Focus in Career Coaching
-
Changing Organizations
Clients may seek change to escape unsatisfactory situations.
Key questions are designed to help them avoid repeating past
mistakes:
- *Know Yourself*:
- What are you passionate about?
- What are your strengths, gifts, and key abilities?
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- What do you want to learn, and how do you want to
contribute?
- *Know the Corporate Culture*:
- How much do you believe in their mission?
- What are their real values?
- Who would you work with?
- *Know the Needs*:
- How much does the organization need me?
- How much do I need the organization?
-
Refocusing Vision
Vision and passion can diminish in even the best-fit jobs,
necessitating a reevaluation. Suggested reflective questions
include:
- What was your original vision when you came here? How
has it changed?
- What aspects of your current role relate to your vision?
- How can you increase vision-related tasks?
- What future role do you envision in five years, and what
immediate steps can you take?
- How often do you operate from your strengths, and how
can you enhance that?
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Chapter 40 Summary : Organizing
Coach (Professional Organizer)
Organizing Coach/Professional Organizer
Overview
Rhonda Ruckel presents tools for clients seeking to organize
their priorities and living environments. Organizing coaches
assist professionals in overcoming disorder to enhance
energy and productivity through improved systems for
managing their home and work lives.
Initial Assessment Questions
To understand a client's organizational needs, the following
questions may be posed:
- What does being organized mean to you?
- What drives your desire to become organized now?
- What are the costs of your disorganization?
- Share an example of when you felt organized—what
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contributed to that?
- What is your primary barrier to getting organized?
- Who in your life can assist you, and whom would you be
open to having help?
- If tackling your disorganization were like eating an
elephant, what would you address first and why?
Coaching Exercise: Sorting Tool
Coaches can use a practical exercise on personal
organization. Clients should choose a space to organize and
categorize items into four groups, reflecting on what they
learn through this process.
Setting Priorities
Key questions to establish priorities include:
- What is the compelling reason for this task?
- What is the benefit of this task relative to the time
investment?
- Is this task time-sensitive?
- Can this task be delegated, and who could do it?
- What are the consequences of not completing this task?
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Sorting Tool for Items
To help clients manage clutter, categorize items into four
groups:
1.
Do you Love this?
- When was it last used?
- Could someone else benefit from it more?
- What would you lose if you let it go?
- Would you pay to replace it?
- Is it worth the storage space?
2.
Are you Ambivalent about this?
- Revisit to categorize further or decide on action.
3.
Can you Let Go of this?
- Options include giving away, selling, or discarding.
4.
Do you Need this?
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- Is it necessary for you to store it?
- Could storage be improved?
The final task involves re-evaluating ambivalent items into
the Love, Need, or Let Go categories.
About Rhonda Ruckel
Rhonda Ruckel is a coach trainer and Professional Organizer,
focusing on workflow and time management coaching and
can be reached at her website,
www.MakeaChangeCoaching.com.
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Chapter 41 Summary : Coaching
Writers (Book Coaching)
Coaching Writers (Book Coaching)
Overview of the Niche
Coaching writers involves aiding aspiring authors in
transforming their ideas into publishable works. Key areas of
focus include:
1.
Educating on Publishing Options
: Understanding various paths such as e-books,
self-publishing, and traditional publishing
2.
Access to Publishing Houses
: Knowing how to connect with literary agents and attend
writers conferences
3.
Vision Development
: Ensuring the author’s vision is clear and engaging
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4.
Book Proposal Crafting
: Assisting in creating a compelling book proposal
5.
Content Editing
: Helping refine the manuscript
6.
Writing Discipline
: Encouraging consistent writing practices
This coaching hybrid requires a blend of mentoring,
advising, and active listening to help clients realize their
writing ambitions.
The Book Concept
To assist writers in solidifying their book concepts, ten
guiding questions include:
1. What is the primary message you wish to convey?
2. Who is your target audience?
3. What need does your message fulfill?
4. What effect do you want your message to have on readers?
5. How is your message unique?
6. Which personal experiences will you draw upon?
7. Can you summarize your message in 50 and 100 words?
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8. How will you engage the reader from the first paragraph?
9. What are your marketing strategies and natural spheres of
influence?
10. What personal gains do you expect from publishing your
book?
Conclusion
Jerome Daley, a leadership coach and author, emphasizes the
importance of these coaching techniques in navigating the
publishing journey. For more insights, visit
www.PurposeCoach.net.
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Chapter 42 Summary : Wellness
Coaching
Wellness Coaching Overview
Wellness coaching, as described by Sharon Graham, RN,
focuses on helping individuals create healthy lifestyles and
take care of their physical, emotional, and spiritual
wellbeing. This holistic approach emphasizes the importance
of maintaining a functioning body, which in turn supports
stable emotions and spiritual life. Effective wellness and
nutritional coaching enables clients to understand how their
bodies can support or hinder their overall health, motivating
them to engage actively in the coaching process.
Key Tools for Coaching Clients
-
General Wellness Assessment
Coaches can use questions to evaluate clients' satisfaction
with their health, potential future health, motivations for
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dietary changes, and current stress levels.
-
Wellness Wheel Assessment
This assessment reviews satisfaction in eight life areas,
encouraging clients to identify significant changes that could
yield substantial improvements with minimal effort.
Facilitating Change
To promote action, coaches can ask clients about their
commitment levels, potential obstacles, and specific
adjustments needed to improve their health routines, such as
exercise frequency and sleep hygiene.
Sharon Graham's Approach
Sharon Graham leverages her personal recovery journey from
serious illness to guide clients in navigating their wellness
and nutritional goals effectively.
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Chapter 43 Summary : Relationship
Coaching
Relationship Coaching Overview
By Dave Mclllrath, MA
This chapter discusses a coaching tool designed to help
individuals and couples navigate relational conflicts,
emphasizing the importance of perspective, safety, and
ownership.
Focus of Relationship Coaching
- Works with coachable couples and individuals facing
brokenness or betrayal.
- Emphasizes a non-judgmental approach to foster a safe
environment conducive to change.
Facts/Thoughts/Feelings Tool
A structured method for enhancing communication and
personal reflection during conflicts.
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1. Facts
- Neutral statements about what occurred, agreed upon by
both parties, without assumptions about intent.
- Example: “When you left the house this morning, you
didn't say goodbye.”
- Focus on clarifying the actual events without interpretation.
2. Thoughts
- Clients express their interpretations of the facts.
- Encourage humility: “What did you make up about that?”
- Explore how they gave meaning to the actions and words
involved.
3. Feelings
- Clients identify a single core feeling related to their
thoughts.
- Promote ownership of emotions: “Name the feeling you
have about this in a word.”
4. Future
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- Clients make constructive requests for improved future
interactions.
- Shift focus from blame to collaboration: “In the future, this
would work better for me if we _______.”
- Encourage proactive communication strategies.
Conclusion
- Dave Mclllrath emphasizes the potential for using past
relational pain to foster growth and healing for a better
future.
- He is the President of TruthCoaching.com, focusing on
coaching individuals through relational challenges.
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Chapter 44 Summary : Coaching
Ministry Leaders
Coaching Ministry Leaders
Overview
Ministry leaders face significant challenges due to the
demands of leading volunteer organizations, which
encompasses various aspects of their lives. Areas often
addressed in coaching include personal calling, spiritual
disciplines, career transitions, and coping with issues like
burnout and discouragement.
Caring for Pastors
Pastors frequently lack meaningful support outside their
congregations. Coaching relationships can provide essential
perspective and relational support. Key questions for pastors
may include:
- What season of life are you in?
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- How do you cultivate rest and refreshment in your life?
- What would impact your ministry if multiplied into your
congregation's lifestyle?
Coaching Pastors as Visionaries
Vision-casting is vital for effective leadership. Relevant
questions include:
- What unique accomplishments does God want for your
church?
- How would your church impact the community if it were to
close?
- What holds you back from achieving your ministry dreams?
Small Group Coaching
Typically conducted by volunteer coaches, small group
coaching focuses on helping group leaders develop their
members spiritually. Questions include:
- How are you fostering growth in your group?
- What steps are you taking to develop your group members
into leaders?
Leader’s Personal Life
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Coaches must prioritize understanding their leaders
personally to provide the necessary support. Questions may
cover:
- How are you balancing your various responsibilities?
- What challenges do you face in leading your group?
Marriage Coaching
Marriage coaching applies Christian leadership concepts to
help couples pursue mutual growth goals. Expectations and
getting started prompt questions such as:
- What were your hopes for marriage coaching?
- How would you rate your marriage's overall pleasure?
Transformational Coaching
This coaching type aims for deep, lasting change by
addressing core beliefs and identity. Key stages of
engagement in transformational coaching include:
1. Endurance/Toleration
2. Tactical/Outward Change
3. Engaging the Heart
4. Overflow
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Moving Beyond Tactical Levels
Reflective questions encourage deeper insights, such as:
- What core beliefs need transforming to alter your
responses?
- How do your circumstances reveal your character and
identity?
Engaging with the Heart
Transformational coaching facilitates profound
self-reflection. Key questions include:
- What are your deepest fears and desires in relation to
current challenges?
- What is God asking of you through this situation?
Tony Stoltzfus focuses on helping leaders find purpose
amidst challenges, fostering personal transformation to fulfill
their destinies.
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Chapter 45 Summary : Cross-Cultural
Coaching
Cross-Cultural Coaching
Introduction
Cross-cultural coaching presents unique challenges and
opportunities, enriching both the coach and client. It differs
from counseling and mentoring, as it sees the client as the
expert in their own cultural context.
Challenges of Cross-Cultural Coaching
-
Self-Awareness:
Coaches must recognize their own cultural assumptions and
biases, especially those from Western cultures.
-
Understanding Cultural Paradigms:
Western coaching paradigms may emphasize individual
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responsibility, contrasting with community-oriented values
prevalent in other cultures.
-
Flexibility and Humility:
Coaches should adopt a learning posture, embracing the
client’s cultural understanding of concepts like time,
responsibility, and conflict handling.
-
Proactive Communication:
To avoid misunderstandings, coaches should regularly ask
open, positive questions to clarify the client’s needs and
experiences.
Influence of the Sending Organization
The client's sending organization impacts coaching
objectives, as each layer of cultural influence (client’s
culture, their organization, and current working culture) may
vary significantly.
Benefits of Cross-Cultural Coaching
-
Increased Cultural Awareness:
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Chapter 46 Summary : Additional
Resources
Additional Resources from Coach22.com
Leadership Coaching
This book provides a comprehensive overview of
fundamental coaching skills and practices. It is based on the
Coaching Funnel conversational model and includes an
introduction to the coaching model, value systems, and
change theory. The text features "Master Class" chapters that
teach listening, asking questions, and building support
systems, making it an ideal starting point for those new to
coaching.
The Master Coach Series
This series consists of three CDs, each offering an hour of
live coaching demonstrations and insights on key coaching
areas.
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-
Problem Solving
covers techniques for generating options and creative
solutions without directing clients.
-
Changing Perspective
presents reframing techniques that help clients view
situations from new angles.
-
Coaching Visionaries
focuses on clarifying and refining visionary ideas or
callings.
Coaching Transitions
This two-disc set explores the cycles of life, highlighting the
importance of understanding transitional periods. Tony
addresses how to embrace rather than escape these times, and
discusses the role of suffering in fulfilling one's purpose. It
includes a full coaching session and interviews with former
clients sharing their transitional experiences and purpose
discovery.
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Best Quotes from Coaching Questions by
Tony Stoltzfus with Page Numbers
View on Bookey Website and Generate Beautiful Quote Images
Chapter 1 | Quotes From Pages 15-20
1.Questions hold the power to cause us to think,
create answers we believe in, and motivate us to
act on our ideas.
2.Questions honor you as a person and communicate your
value as an equal.
3.The more you listen, the more you see how capable they
are, how much they can do with a little encouragement, and
what wonderful individuals they are.
4.Nobody knows more about you than you.
5.Asking creates buy-in, and buy-in gets results.
6.You have great ideas. I believe in you. You can do this.
7.Asking builds the responsibility muscle, and that develops
leaders.
8.Taking the time to ask significant questions (and listen to
the answers!) communicates that we really want to know
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who they are at a deep level.
Chapter 2 | Quotes From Pages 21-23
1.Become a “Master of Asking” schedule as a
ten-week weight-lifting program for your asking
muscles.
2.You'll learn more through these exercises if you stop
afterward and reflect on what happened with your partner.
3.One of the best ways to hone your coaching skills is to
coach another coach.
4.If you’d like to build a stronger repertoire of life coaching
skills, sign on for another ten weeks with your peer coach.
Chapter 3 | Quotes From Pages 24-37
1.He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who
does not ask remains a fool forever.” Chinese
proverb
2.The art and science of asking questions is the source of all
knowledge.” Thomas Berger
3.Trust the process.
4.What triggers you looking at the clock and wishing the day
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Chapter 4 | Quotes From Pages 38-41
1.What do you excel at? What are your best skills?
2.Who is already attracted to me and sees me as a resource?
3.What are their felt needs?
4.How will people find out about you?
5.What is my plan of action?
Chapter 5 | Quotes From Pages 42-47
1.‘A coaching question can be a great way to take
everyday conversations from surface to
significance.’
2.‘Significant questions go a little deeper than icebreakers:
they make people think about something important, draw
out a person's identity or touch their deepest desires.’
3.‘A great question can put someone on the defensive if they
aren't anticipating being coached.’
4.‘If you could wave a magic wand and change any one thing
about your company, what would that be? What led you to
choose that?’
5.‘If you had unlimited resources, what would you most want
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to do with them?’
Chapter 6 | Quotes From Pages 48-53
1.Connection. A key element in a coaching
relationship is chemistry.
2.Coaching is all about the client, and your comp session
should be, too.
3.Once you've tapped into a passion, help the person
understand how working with a coach can help make the
future they want a reality.
4.Providing value increases your credibility and their
confidence that working with you could be a life-changing
experience.
5.It is vital that our clients have full buy-in for the decision to
be coached, so we can work with them out of their internal
motivation.
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Chapter 7 | Quotes From Pages 54-57
1.Sketch out what you know of your own life
purpose. What were you made to do?
2.What is most important to you in life (or in your business)?
3.List at least five important strengths you use often, and
three weaknesses.
4.The problems or challenges I most want to overcome right
now are...
5.What I most desire from my coach is:________.
Chapter 8 | Quotes From Pages 58-61
1.What's been the highlight (or low-light) of your
week?
2.Give me a brief progress report on your action steps.
3.What do we need to focus on today to keep you moving
toward your goals?
4.So—what are your action steps for this next week?
Chapter 9 | Quotes From Pages 62-65
1.A procedure and set of example questions for
designing your own Session Prep Form.
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Chapter 10 | Quotes From Pages 66-70
1.The most important question in choosing a
training program is knowing who your target
audience is.
2.Think through how much of your success will depend on
your training, and how much you are really putting at risk
before you make price your number one criteria.
3.A coaching school is going to operate out of and train you
in a fundamental set of values for how to influence people.
Chapter 11 | Quotes From Pages 74-78
1.It's the client's job to decide on the agenda for a
coaching interaction.
2.The coach's role is to take that agenda and manage the
conversation so that you arrive at the desired destination.
3.Mastering one or two of these conversational structures
helps you forward the conversation in an effective,
intentional way.
4.A Model for Everything Coaches have developed many
different models for different applications.
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5.The goal is not simply to know a model, but to master it.
6.These models can work well in conversations as short as
ten minutes.
7.Choose a conversational model and find five opportunities
to practice it this week.
Chapter 12 | Quotes From Pages 79-84
1.The GROW model focuses on objectivity and
concrete action, so it works best for getting
practical things done.
2.Make sure you have a clear, specific goal at the start: if the
goal is vague, you'll have a hard time with the other steps
in the GROW model.
3.Allow the client to do the hard work of thinking things
through instead of making a lot of suggestions.
4.What if this obstacle was removed? What would you do
then?
5.Turn that into an action step: what will you do by when?
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Chapter 13 | Quotes From Pages 85-90
1.Be specific: what will be different when you've
reached this goal?
2.What are the most important factors or players in this
situation?
3.Let's shoot for at least five potential solutions. What else
could you do?
4.Make a choice: what's the best solution?
5.What will you do by when?
Chapter 14 | Quotes From Pages 91-94
1.A well-designed coaching agenda has four
characteristics—use the acronym O.P.U.S. to help
you remember them: Ownership. Passion.
Urgency. Significance.
2.What do you want more of in life? What do you want less
of?
3.If you got really radical today stopped fearing the
consequences and launched out to be what you were born
to be, what would you be doing?
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4.What is getting in the way of living the life you want?
5.What needs to change about who you are for your
organization to go where it needs to go?
Chapter 15 | Quotes From Pages 95-99
1.Rank your satisfaction with each of these areas of
life from one to ten.
2.What would a 'ten' look like in that area?
3.What would it take to raise that 'six' to an 'eight'? How
about to a 'ten'?
4.How does your real-world career path compare with what
you expected it to be?
5.What do you care about in this area of life? What are your
money values?
6.Where do you need to take better care of your mind,
emotions, or body?
7.How do you want to be involved in your community?
What's your contribution?
8.What's best about your marriage/family life? What would
you most like to see change?
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Chapter 16 | Quotes From Pages 100-105
1.What is the most important problem you want to
solve?
2.If making this change was easy, you’d have done it already
and without my help. What makes it difficult?
3.What I’m hearing you say is that you can do this if you are
just more disciplined. Be honest with yourself: has that
worked for you here in the past?
4.Do you need to change your situation, or change the way
you respond to it?
5.What would it look like to conquer this once and for all?
6.What causes you to function this way?
Chapter 17 | Quotes From Pages 106-109
1.Without a goal, it is easy to divert the client to
whatever you think the agenda should be.
2.A goal states the destination: the where and when, not the
how.
3.Why is this important to you?
4.On a scale of one to ten, how important is it to you to reach
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this goal?
Chapter 18 | Quotes From Pages 110-116
1.Open questions are the key to effective
exploration.
2.A 'Broad' question that can be answered in many different
ways lets the coachee take you to what is most significant.
3.The most significant response may not have been in words.
4.Commit to probe and listen for at least five minutes before
you even begin examining solutions.
5.What makes this significant to you?
6.Sometimes the best question is the simplest.
7.Tell me more about that.
8.What is your heart saying?
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Chapter 19 | Quotes From Pages 117-125
1.Give me five options for how you could tackle this
challenge.
2.What is stopping you from reaching that objective?
3.Imagine that it is 90 days in the future, and you've achieved
this goal.
4.Let's assume for a minute that this situation is custom
designed for your inner growth as a leader and a person. If
that's true, what's the opportunity here?
5.What would you do if you really believed in yourself and
knew you couldn't fail?
6.What belief or principle are you functioning out of here? Is
that belief serving you well or hindering you?
Chapter 20 | Quotes From Pages 126-131
1.If you aren't creating actions, you aren't coaching.
2.When converting options into action steps, move from
possibilities to decisions to committed actions using this
model.
3.Action steps that don't get done are worse than no steps at
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all—they sap confidence and energy, and make it less
likely that future steps will succeed.
4.You 're waffling. You can choose to do this or not do it—I
just need to hear a clear decision one way or the other.
What will you do?
5.Effective action steps have these four characteristics:
Clarity, Datebook, Commitment, Deadline.
Chapter 21 | Quotes From Pages 132-135
1.If it was easy, you'd have done it already.
2.What is stopping you?
3.What goes on inside you when you think of launching into
this?
4.What would you lose that's important to you if you did
change?
5.What's the critical voice in you saying about this situation?
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Chapter 22 | Quotes From Pages 136-142
1.Imagine that the obstacle is gone, and ask the
person to dream without it.
2.When you've faced this kind of obstacle in the past, how
did you overcome it?
3.Can you name what you are afraid of? What's the thing you
don't want to happen?
4.I'd like to make a request. This week, find a small way to
do the thing you fear, then sit down for 20 minutes
immediately afterward and journal about it to discover
what's going on in you.
5.Imagine for a minute that we can see into the future, and
nothing is going to happen that will eat into your financial
reserves for the next five years. How would that change the
way you'd live?
6.What led you to respond in that way? Walk me through the
reasoning behind it.
Chapter 23 | Quotes From Pages 147-152
1.Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to
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be what we know we could be." Ralph Waldo
Emerson
2.If every experience of your life was planned to train you for
your destiny, what would you say your whole life has
prepared you to do?
3.What do those who know you well say about what you are
made to do?
4.Do you know your personality type from DiSC,
Myers-Briggs, Strengths-Finder or some other instrument?
5.Is there a sense of call or destiny that was passed down to
you from your parents?
Chapter 24 | Quotes From Pages 153-173
1.Some men see things as they are and say, 'Why?' I
dream of things that never were and say, 'Why
not?'" George Bernard Shaw
2.Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness
has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now." Goethe
3.Imagine you are 80 years old and looking back at your life.
Which dream from your list would cause the greatest regret
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if you had NOT pursued it?
4.Dreams are things you think about doing but you aren't
committed to—in fact, you may never commit to doing
them. Tell me some things that you'd like to think about
doing.
5.The key to helping practical people dream is to identify
what they've loved doing in the past (or what they are
doing now that they love), and help them envision ways
they can do more of that in the future.
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Chapter 25 | Quotes From Pages 174-181
1.Every experience, good or bad, can be leveraged
into a person's sense of destiny.
2.At their point of need, people are most open to being
influenced by someone who's gone through what they have.
3.What gifts have your failures given you?
4.A Destiny Experience is NOT a role or an extended period
in life where you felt fulfilled, but a specific event.
5.When you look at these three stories together, what stands
out to you? What do they have in common?
Chapter 26 | Quotes From Pages 182-188
1.I don't know what your destiny will be, but one
thing I do know: the ones among you who will be
really happy are those who have sought and found
how to serve." Albert Schweitzer
2.What legacy do you want to leave behind? How will the
world be a better place because you lived?
3.If you could spend your life working to change one thing in
the world that would make a real difference for others,
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what would that one thing be?
4.What individuals, groups or needs do you deeply identify
with out of your own suffering? How do you want to help
them?
5.What do your spiritual values have to say about the purpose
of life?
Chapter 27 | Quotes From Pages 193-196
1.What is missing from your life right now?
2.On a scale of one to ten, what's your stress level like right
now? What would it be like if your stress was a quarter of
that?
3.What percentage of your time do you feel like you are
living in alignment with your calling right now?
4.What is one thing on the 'Leave It' list would make the
most difference if you changed it?
5.What would it take to deal with your entire 'Leave It' list?
What stops you from doing that?
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Chapter 28 | Quotes From Pages 197-203
1.If you are pleased with what you are, you have
stopped already. If you say 'It is enough,' you are
lost. Keep on walking, moving forward, trying for
the goal." St. Augustine
2.What would need to change in your attitudes or responses
for you to function at your best in the midst of this, even if
the circumstances don't change?
3.What one step could you take to de-clutter your
environment, your mind, or your relationships that would
most bring you peace?
4.What is this experience teaching you? What is the gift this
pain brings?
5.What could you do if you set out to take care of it once and
for all?
Chapter 29 | Quotes From Pages 204-209
1.In this fast-paced, driven culture, often the answer
is, 'Not much.'
2.What are the people close to you saying about your pace or
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your schedule?
3.On a scale of one to ten, how do you feel about your life
balance right now?
4.What would your ideal pace look like? Describe a day or
week lived at this pace.
5.How well does the way you spend your time and money
align with your heart?
Chapter 30 | Quotes From Pages 213-216
1.It is good to celebrate what you do (the externals);
it is even better to have someone else believe in you
and have confidence in your abilities; and it can be
a life-changing experience to have the core of your
being brought to fight and affirmed by someone
you trust and respect.
2.What character qualities do I admire in this person?
3.What is the true value of this individual?
4.At your best, who you are is _______.
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Chapter 31 | Quotes From Pages 217-223
1.How will you make that decision?
2.What would a great decision look like?
3.What does your spouse think? How about some key friends
or advisors?
4.What is the payoff for each option? The risk?
5.You've invested a lot in this project so far. Step back for a
minute and imagine that you had invested nothing up to
this point—how would that affect your decision?
6.One does not discover new lands without consenting to
lose sight of the shore." Andre Gide
7.What can you learn from this process about becoming a
great decision-maker?
Chapter 32 | Quotes From Pages 224-230
1.The first step in changing a habit is becoming
aware enough of the behavior that you catch
yourself before you do it.
2.When a client seems to have lost energy for a goal, try
taking them out of the present... into a future where that
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dream has actually come to pass.
3.What would it cost you if you didn't take this step?
4.Rewarding yourself for completing a step is a great way to
increase motivation.
5.Sometimes trying not to do something just makes you
focus on it all the more.
6.Accountability is especially helpful with habit change.
Chapter 33 | Quotes From Pages 231-242
1.'Positive Challenge: pointing people forward to
embrace all they were created to be, instead of
looking back and pointing out where they have
fallen short.'
2.'When you set out to challenge a person, it is usually most
productive to start gently and ramp up.'
3.'Conflict and difficulty always contain the opportunity to
grow in character.'
4.'Think back for a minute: this is the third situation we've
talked through where you've gotten in trouble with
someone over you—and each one involved a different
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Chapter 34 | Quotes From Pages 243-248
1.What’s going on in other areas of life that is
putting pressure on this area or making it more
difficult for you to reach your goal?
2.What will this decision look like in ten years? What will
seem most crucial then?
3.Let’s say this situation is custom-designed to prepare you
for what you are born to do. How would that change your
perspective on your circumstances?
4.How is this affecting your family, relationships, friends and
others around you?
5.Imagine yourself with total confidence that you could make
this happen—you just knew that you knew. How would
that change your approach?
Chapter 35 | Quotes From Pages 249-254
1.A life unexamined is not worth living." Socrates
2.What do you want?
3.What is driving your responses? What internal pressures
are you responding to?
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4.What can you learn from this experience about making
successful changes elsewhere in life?
5.Follow your emotions. What are your emotions saying?
Chapter 36 | Quotes From Pages 255-258
1.What did you do well? What would you do
differently if you could do this again?
2.Unless you establish a healthy process for getting feedback,
all the feedback you get will be unhealthy.
3.What would have made it better?
4.What intuitive cues did I see today that I need to remember
for the future?
5.Is this person being energized by our sessions?
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Chapter 37 | Quotes From Pages 262-265
1.However, the fact that marketing has been misused
doesn't mean we can ignore it.
2.I call this Meaningful Marketing. It's an approach to
advertising based on truthful, strategic content crafted in an
honest, compelling way.
3.Most marketing errs in trying to be all things to all people.
Meaningful Marketing does just the opposite.
Chapter 38 | Quotes From Pages 266-269
1.Organizational Coaching is the systematic
coaching of individuals within an organization to
support organizational change.
2.To effectively work at changing a corporate culture, the
coach needs to understand that culture—it's strengths,
weaknesses, and untapped potential—and take that
knowledge into account as s/he coaches the individuals
within the culture.
3.A major success factor is determining whether the
organization is coachable.
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4.A typical strategy is to start with the most motivated and
coachable individuals, and allow them to influence others
in the organization on the value of the coaching process.
5.What is your purpose in wanting to create a coaching
culture in this organization?
Chapter 39 | Quotes From Pages 270-272
1.In a lifetime, we typically change careers ten times,
and 90% of American workers don't like their
jobs.
2.Career coaching offers clients the opportunity to discover
their calling, strengths, values and desired contribution,
then helps them align work or manage retirement for a
more fulfilling life.
3.What are you passionate about?
4.What are your strengths, gifts, and key abilities?
5.What would you like to be doing five years from now?
6.How could you increase the vision-related tasks, and
decrease the others?
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Chapter 40 | Quotes From Pages 273-276
1.What is it costing you to be disorganized?
2.If you were going to start eating the elephant [How do you
eat an elephant? One bite at a time.] what part would you
get rid of or get under control first, and why?
3.What is the compelling reason for doing _______?
4.Can this task be delegated? Who could do this at least 80%
as well as you?
5.Would you spend money to replace this if you no longer
have it? How much?
Chapter 41 | Quotes From Pages 277-279
1.There are an amazing number of people who have
a book inside them... but who need some help
packaging their brilliance into something
publishable.
2.Helping them develop and stick to the discipline of actually
writing something.
3.What is the one thing you most want to say to your
readers?
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4.How will you hook your reader's rapt attention in the first
paragraph... and keep them hooked throughout the book?
5.If you are actually able to achieve this dream of publishing
your book, what will that get you?
Chapter 42 | Quotes From Pages 280-283
1.Wellness coaching is helping people to create
healthy lifestyles and "care for the only body they
will ever have.
2.Concentrating on wellness and nutrition offers that to a
client.
3.In order for each of us to live out our life purpose, we must
have a body that isn't racked with pain and inflammation
and a brain that is clear and focused.
4.What would your life look like right now if you were truly
healthy?
5.What type of exercise appeals to you? How could you
consistently move more?
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Chapter 43 | Quotes From Pages 284-287
1.Meeting people where they are at without
judgment creates a wonderful context for change.
2.The Facts/Thoughts/Feelings tool helps couples improve
communication by separating out the facts of what actually
happened from how they interpreted or felt about those
facts.
3.Help clients own their emotions, as opposed to expressing
them as something the other person did to them.
4.One way you could help me understand you better in the
future would be to _______.
Chapter 44 | Quotes From Pages 288-305
1.What if the impact of your ministry was that
people actually copied the way you live?
2.What does God uniquely want to accomplish in your
church?
3.If I donated a million dollars to your ministry, what would
you do with it?
4.What is God saying to you these days?
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5.What is your greatest personal challenge as it pertains to
leading your group?
Chapter 45 | Quotes From Pages 306-311
1.Coaching is an excellent fit for cross-cultural
interaction because, unlike counseling, mentoring
or training, coaching sees the client as the expert.
2.Coaches must recognize their own cultural assumptions,
and regularly check the meaning they attribute to the client.
3.Learning to embrace the client's understanding of time,
responsibility, identity, and how to handle conflict is
essential to effectiveness.
4.A posture of curiosity and the use of open questions to
draw out the issue and bring understanding of it helps keep
things on track.
5.Cross-cultural coaching can help clients become more
aware of their own cultural paradigm, equipping them to
identify cultural obstacles and to develop creative options
that may never have surfaced without interacting with a
coach from another culture.
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Chapter 46 | Quotes From Pages 312-314
1.Life goes in cycles—from seasons where the focus
is outward productivity to times of inward
retooling.
2.We also discuss the place of suffering in fulfilling one's
purpose, and how God organizes the seasons of our lives to
build us into the people we were made to be.
3.They’re a great choice if you want to hear some of the
techniques in Coaching Questions in action.
4.Changing Perspective focuses on a variety of reframing
techniques that break the client out of a limited viewpoint
and help them look at life situations in new ways.
5.A complete overview of the fundamental skills and
practices of coaching, Leadership Coaching is a great
companion to this volume.
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Coaching Questions Questions
View on Bookey Website
Chapter 1 | Why Ask?| Q&A
1.Question
Why should I ask questions instead of just telling
someone what to do?
Answer:Asking questions engages the coachee in the
problem-solving process, encouraging them to think
critically and creatively about their situation. It
shifts the focus from a passive learning mindset to
an active one, empowering them to take ownership
of their ideas and actions.
2.Question
How do questions redefine relationships between people?
Answer:Questions create a peer-like interaction, honoring the
coachee’s thoughts and experiences. This not only respects
their knowledge but also fosters a sense of equality and
collaboration, changing the dynamic from one of superiority
to partnership.
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3.Question
What did Keith Webb learn from his interaction with the
president of the college?
Answer:Keith learned the power of questions in building
rapport and gaining insight. By asking engaging questions
about the college's community service projects, he was able
to draw out valuable information and impress the president
without offering his own opinions.
4.Question
Why is it said that all the information is with the coachee?
Answer:The coachee possesses the personal history, context,
and nuances of their own situation. They know their
experiences, challenges, and previous attempts at resolving
issues, which makes them the expert in their own lives.
5.Question
How does asking questions create buy-in?
Answer:When people formulate their own solutions through
questioning, they feel a personal connection and commitment
to those ideas. This ownership leads to higher motivation and
a greater likelihood of following through on their plans.
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6.Question
In what ways do questions empower individuals?
Answer:Asking questions affirms an individual’s thoughts
and ideas, reinforcing their self-confidence. It communicates
trust in their capabilities, encouraging them to take action on
their own solutions.
7.Question
How does asking develop leadership capacity?
Answer:By prompting individuals with questions about what
they can do in a situation, it encourages them to take
initiative and responsibility. This cultivates their ability to
lead and address challenges independently.
8.Question
What is the significance of authenticity in the art of
asking?
Answer:Authentic questioning fosters deeper relationships by
showing genuine interest in the coachee’s thoughts and
feelings. This process builds trust and transparency, making
it easier for individuals to engage in meaningful change.
9.Question
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What is the primary goal of coaching questions as
mentioned in this chapter?
Answer:The primary goal of coaching questions is to
facilitate the coachee’s own discovery and decision-making
processes, ultimately leading them to take meaningful action
towards their goals.
Chapter 2 | Become a Master of Asking| Q&A
1.Question
What benefits can come from becoming a 'Master of
Asking'?
Answer:By mastering the skill of asking thoughtful
coaching questions, you can improve your ability to
facilitate meaningful conversations that drive
personal growth, provide clarity, and inspire action.
You'll develop stronger relationships by showing
genuine interest, and you can help others uncover
their inner thoughts and motivations.
2.Question
How can a peer coaching relationship enhance the
learning process?
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Answer:Coaching with a peer helps you stay accountable and
provides a live feedback loop, allowing you both to practice
real-time coaching skills. You can challenge each other's
thinking, share insights, and discover new techniques that
might not emerge in a traditional learning environment.
3.Question
What is the significance of the debriefing procedure after
a coaching session?
Answer:The debriefing process is crucial because it allows
both the coachee and coach to reflect on what occurred,
identify strengths, and recognize areas for improvement. This
reflective practice enhances learning, solidifies insights
gained during the session, and ultimately leads to better
coaching interactions in the future.
4.Question
Why is it important to work with a peer coach when
developing life coaching skills?
Answer:Working with a peer coach allows you to practice
life coaching skills in a supportive environment. You get to
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apply the skills learned in a practical way, receive
constructive feedback, and witness different coaching styles
and perspectives, all of which enrich your own practice.
5.Question
What types of exercises can one expect to engage in
during the coaching mastery program?
Answer:Participants can engage in exercises that focus on
various aspects of life coaching, such as creating a life
purpose inventory, brainstorming a dream list, refining
personal values, and exploring energy drains in their lives.
Each exercise is designed to deepen understanding and evoke
personal insights.
6.Question
How does the concept of 'energy drains' contribute to
coaching effectiveness?
Answer:Identifying energy drains helps both coach and
coachee recognize what depletes their motivation or
happiness. By addressing these drains, coaching sessions can
become more focused on empowering the individual and
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fostering positive energy that drives engagement and
commitment.
7.Question
What does 'finding purpose in suffering' mean in the
context of coaching?
Answer:Finding purpose in suffering refers to recognizing
that challenging experiences can lead to significant growth
and understanding. In coaching, this concept helps
individuals reframe their struggles as opportunities for
development, encouraging resilience and a deeper
appreciation for their life's journey.
8.Question
How can the exercise 'Difficult Conversations' benefit
both coaches and clients?
Answer:Practicing difficult conversations helps develop
essential skills in handling sensitive topics with empathy and
clarity. This not only empowers clients to face challenging
discussions in their lives but also equips coaches with the
tools needed to support their clients through
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anxiety-provoking interactions.
9.Question
Why is it essential to refine value statements during the
coaching process?
Answer:Refining value statements is vital because it helps
individuals clarify what truly matters to them. This clarity
drives decision-making and motivates action, ensuring that
their goals and activities align with their core beliefs and
values.
10.Question
What kind of experiences are explored in the 'Significant
Experiences' exercise?
Answer:The 'Significant Experiences' exercise encourages
individuals to examine transformative events in their life,
helping them understand how these moments have shaped
their identity and aspirations. It fosters a deeper connection
with oneself and can highlight patterns and themes that may
inform future choices.
Chapter 3 | Top Ten Asking Mistakes (and How to
Correct Them)| Q&A
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1.Question
What is the primary issue with closed questions in
coaching?
Answer:Closed questions restrict the coachee's
ability to express themselves fully, shutting down the
conversation and limiting their thinking. For
coaching to be effective, it's essential to ask open
questions that promote deeper reflection and allow
the client to guide the dialogue.
2.Question
How can a coach convert closed questions to open ones
effectively?
Answer:Coaches can convert closed questions by restating
the question with 'what' or 'how'. For example, instead of
asking 'Can you realistically take that on too?' a coach could
ask 'How would your life change if you took that on?' This
encourages broader responses.
3.Question
What is a common mistake related to solution-oriented
questions (SOQs)?
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Answer:SOQs often disguise advice as a question, which can
hinder the coaching process. Instead of asking 'Shouldn't you
check in with your boss?', a coach should explore the
coachee's thought process by asking 'What channels do you
need to go through before acting on this?'
4.Question
What is the 'Holy Grail' seeking in coaching, and how
should a coach handle it?
Answer:The 'Holy Grail' refers to the pressure to find the
perfect question that reveals everything to the coachee.
Coaches should trust the process and focus on facilitating
thought rather than seeking perfection in their questions,
using simple prompts like 'Tell me more'.
5.Question
What causes rambling questions, and what technique can
fix this?
Answer:Rambling questions often stem from coaches trying
to figure out their query while speaking. Allowing silence
gives the coach time to formulate a clear question.
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Thoughtful pauses can encourage the coachee to continue
reflecting on their own without interruption.
6.Question
What is the effect of interpretive questions on a coaching
session?
Answer:Interpretive questions impose the coach's bias onto
the coachee, which can erode trust and disrupt the
conversation flow. Instead, coaches should ask questions
based on the client's own phrasing to promote a supportive
dialogue.
7.Question
Why should coaches avoid rhetorical questions?
Answer:Rhetorical questions are essentially statements
dressed as queries and can lead to defensiveness instead of
dialogue. Coaches should focus on asking questions that
truly invite the coachee's perspective rather than making
judgments.
8.Question
What are leading questions, and how can coaches avoid
them?
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Answer:Leading questions subtly guide the coachee to a
desired answer, which can compromise the integrity of the
coaching process. Coaches can redeem such questions by
providing multiple options, ensuring that the coachee decides
how to respond.
9.Question
What is a recommended approach for dealing with a
client who rambles?
Answer:Coaches should establish a mutual agreement about
the possibility of interruptions if the conversation drifts. This
keeps the coaching session focused and productive.
10.Question
How can coaches overcome the tendency to interrupt
clients?
Answer:Coaches can practice counting to two after a coachee
finishes speaking before responding. This helps create space
for further thoughts from the client and enhances the
listening dynamic.
11.Question
What is the problem with 'why' questions in coaching?
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Chapter 4 | A Marketing Plan in Five Questions|
Q&A
1.Question
What do you have to offer?
Answer:Identify your best skills and unique
coaching products, breaking them down into specific
offerings with clear pricing. Think about the ways
you can attract clients by providing valuable
services they are eager to pay for.
2.Question
Who will you serve?
Answer:Define your ideal client by demographic and
psychographic characteristics, answering who you naturally
attract and who your services can help. Create a profile
including age, gender, needs, and professional background.
3.Question
What distinguishes you or makes you credible in their
eyes?
Answer:Articulate your unique value proposition by
explaining how your services align with the felt needs of
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your target audience, showcasing any specialized skills or
experiences that enhance your credibility.
4.Question
How will you get your message across?
Answer:Outline a multi-faceted communication strategy to
reach your audience using various channels like advertising,
networking, and speaking engagements. Develop a clear plan
to effectively convey your message and convert prospects
into clients.
5.Question
What is my plan of action?
Answer:Create a detailed action plan with specific steps and
timelines to launch your coaching practice. Set target dates
for each phase of your marketing strategy implementation
and ensure you have a clear roadmap to follow.
Chapter 5 | Starting Significant Conversations|
Q&A
1.Question
What's the most significant thing that's happened in your
life in the last month?
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Answer:This past month, I achieved a long-standing
personal milestone by completing my first
marathon. It required months of training,
dedication, and overcoming self-doubt. Crossing
that finish line was not just about the race but also
about proving to myself that I can commit and
achieve difficult goals. It has inspired me to set more
ambitious objectives in other areas of my life.
2.Question
What's the best thing about your life right now? (And
what's one thing you'd love to change?)
Answer:The best thing about my life right now is my
supportive network of friends and family, which
continuously motivates me. However, I'd love to change my
work situation, as I feel unchallenged in my current role and
am seeking something that truly ignites my passion.
3.Question
What is on your mind this week? What are you thinking
about?
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Answer:This week, I've been contemplating my career
direction and whether to pursue additional training or
education to enhance my skills. I'm weighing the potential
benefits against the time and financial investment it would
require.
4.Question
Name one great joy and one sorrow that you've
experienced this year.
Answer:A great joy this year has been welcoming my first
child into the world; that experience has been life-altering
and has filled me with immense happiness. Conversely, a
sorrow has been the loss of a close friend, which has caused
me to reflect deeply on relationships and the fragility of life.
5.Question
Tell me a story from your life that would give me a
picture of who you really are. What is an event that
shaped you as a person?
Answer:When I was a teenager, I volunteered at a local
shelter. Helping those in need opened my eyes to different
life experiences and made me realize the importance of
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empathy and community service. This experience shaped my
values and inspired me to pursue a career in social work.
6.Question
What do you want these days? What are you passionately
pursuing or longing for?
Answer:Lately, I've been longing to travel and explore new
cultures. I have a passionate desire to experience the richness
of the world beyond my immediate surroundings, and I'm
making plans to take a sabbatical next year to embark on this
adventure.
7.Question
What dreams do you have for the future of your
organization?
Answer:I dream of my organization becoming a recognized
leader in sustainability. I envision us not only improving our
own carbon footprint but also influencing other businesses to
adopt environmentally-friendly practices, creating a ripple
effect for positive change.
8.Question
If you could wave a magic wand and change any one
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thing about your company, what would that be? What led
you to choose that?
Answer:If I could change one thing, it would be to
implement a more flexible work culture that encourages
remote work options. This request stems from observing that
flexibility enhances productivity and employee satisfaction,
allowing us to attract and retain top talent.
9.Question
How does this job bring out the best in you?
Answer:My job challenges me creatively and intellectually
every day. It allows me to collaborate with passionate
individuals who inspire me to push my boundaries,
facilitating personal and professional growth that brings out
my best work.
Chapter 6 | Effective Comp Sessions| Q&A
1.Question
What is the key to establishing a connection with a
potential client during a coaching comp session?
Answer:The most effective way to establish a
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connection is through genuine curiosity and
intentional listening. Questions like 'Tell me a little
about yourself' or 'What led you to want to pursue a
coaching relationship?' help in creating a spark of
chemistry and understanding between you and the
client.
2.Question
How can you tap into a client's motivation during a comp
session?
Answer:By asking targeted questions such as 'What are the
top three challenges you face right now?' or 'What change
would you like to make in your life?' you encourage them to
express their passions and frustrations, which can reveal their
motivations, whether it be dissatisfaction with their current
situation or a desire for future success.
3.Question
What role does the presentation phase play in a comp
session?
Answer:During the presentation phase, it is crucial to discuss
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both your approach to coaching and the client's expectations.
Sharing relevant success stories or outlining how your
coaching aligns with their goals can help bridge the gap
between their needs and your services.
4.Question
What information should be conveyed to a prospective
client who is new to coaching?
Answer:It is essential to outline practical details such as the
frequency and duration of meetings, session structure, roles
during the coaching process, and payment procedures, as this
information lays the groundwork for their decision-making
process.
5.Question
How should a coach ask for a commitment from a
potential client?
Answer:A coach should ask for a commitment in a manner
that prioritizes the client's internal motivation. Phrasing such
as 'What is holding you back from making a decision?' or
'Are you ready to say 'Yes!' to a coaching relationship?' can
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drive the conversation towards securing their buy-in.
6.Question
How can providing value upfront during a comp session
build client confidence?
Answer:By sharing insights, tools, or offering brief coaching
on their change agenda, you not only demonstrate your
expertise but also enhance the client's belief that working
with you could result in significant, transformative outcomes.
7.Question
What is the importance of the feedback exercise after a
practice comp session?
Answer:Engaging in a feedback exercise helps you assess
whether your message was clear and if the prospective client
felt that their needs could be met through coaching. This
reflection allows you to refine your approach and improve
the overall effectiveness of future sessions.
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Chapter 7 | Client Profile Form| Q&A
1.Question
What is your life purpose?
Answer:Sketch out what you know of your own life
purpose. What were you made to do?
2.Question
Do your current roles fit your purpose?
Answer:How well do your current roles fit or not fit with
your purpose and natural strengths?
3.Question
What are your important dreams?
Answer:What are some important dreams that you would like
to pursue in the next five or ten years?
4.Question
What is most important to you in life?
Answer:What is most important to you in life (or in your
business)?
5.Question
What do you value in key life areas?
Answer:Take the eight basic life areas (career,
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family/relationships, health, money, spirituality, personal
development, recreation, and physical environment), and jot
down what you care about most in each area.
6.Question
What fundamental values guide your decisions?
Answer:In these eight areas, what are some fundamental
values you base important decisions on?
7.Question
What is your current priority?
Answer:What's priority for you right now?
8.Question
What objectives do you want to focus on in the short
term?
Answer:In the short term, what objectives or areas of life do
you most want to work on or pay attention to?
9.Question
What do your personality assessments tell you?
Answer:If you've taken a personality type assessment (i.e.,
DiSC, Myers-Briggs, Strengths-Finder, etc.), what were the
results? What did it tell you about yourself?
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10.Question
What are your strengths and weaknesses?
Answer:List at least five important strengths you use often,
and three weaknesses.
11.Question
What do you love about yourself?
Answer:What's best about you? List five things you love
about yourself.
12.Question
What changes have recently occurred in your life?
Answer:What major changes have taken place in your life in
the past six months?
13.Question
What do you feel you most need right now?
Answer:Right now I feel the greatest sense of need for...
14.Question
What challenges do you want to overcome?
Answer:The problems or challenges I most want to overcome
right now are...
15.Question
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What drains your energy?
Answer:The things that sap my energy that I most want to
remove from my life are...
16.Question
Where do you feel stuck?
Answer:The place I feel stuck is...
17.Question
What do you want to explore in coaching?
Answer:I want to explore these possibilities in our first
session or two:________.
18.Question
What strengths do you want to build on?
Answer:I want to build on these strengths or increase these
skills:________.
19.Question
What outcome do you desire from coaching?
Answer:The tangible outcome I want from being coached
is:________.
20.Question
Where do you want to grow?
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Answer:I want to be challenged to grow in this
area:________.
21.Question
What beliefs do you want to change?
Answer:I want to look at changing my thinking patterns or
beliefs around:________.
22.Question
What do you desire from your coach?
Answer:What I most desire from my coach is:________.
Chapter 8 | Coaching Session Structure| Q&A
1.Question
What is the importance of starting a coaching session
with an open question?
Answer:Starting with an open question allows
clients to express what's truly on their mind,
providing the coach with insight into their current
emotional or mental state. For example, asking
'What's been the highlight of your week?' may lead
to uncovering deeper issues, like a personal crisis
affecting their focus on work.
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2.Question
How can a progress report enhance the effectiveness of a
coaching session?
Answer:A progress report creates a structured recap of
previous action items, ensuring accountability and clarity. It
helps both the coach and client recognize accomplishments
and areas needing attention, facilitating a more productive
follow-up. For instance, the question 'Bring me up to speed
on your accomplishments since we last met' encourages the
client to reflect and discuss their journey.
3.Question
What key themes should be addressed when setting the
agenda in a coaching session?
Answer:Setting the agenda involves discussing follow-up
steps from prior sessions, identifying new or existing action
items, and re-evaluating overall goals. Essential questions
might include 'What do we need to focus on today to keep
you moving toward your goals?' This ensures the session
remains aligned with the client's aspirations.
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4.Question
In what ways does reviewing action items contribute to a
successful coaching relationship?
Answer:Reviewing action items confirms understanding and
agreement on next steps between the coach and client. It
fosters accountability, as both parties are clear about
expectations moving forward. Questions like 'What are your
action steps for this next week?' help solidify commitment
and clarity.
5.Question
How can coaches ensure they maintain a client-centered
approach throughout the session?
Answer:Coaches can maintain a client-centered approach by
continuously inviting feedback, asking about the client's
preferences for discussion, and adapting the agenda based on
the client's needs. For example, 'What is on your agenda
today?' empowers clients to prioritize their concerns,
ensuring the session resonates with them.
Chapter 9 | Session Prep Form| Q&A
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1.Question
What have I accomplished since our last session?
Answer:Reflect on the successes you've had,
however small. Celebrating even minor victories can
boost motivation. For instance, if you set a goal to
exercise twice a week and managed to do it,
recognize that achievement! It builds your
confidence and reinforces progress.
2.Question
What challenges am I facing right now?
Answer:Identify the current obstacles in your life that may
require deeper discussion with your coach. For example, if
you are struggling with time management due to family
obligations, noting this allows for targeted coaching
strategies to be developed.
3.Question
What tasks have I completed or made progress on?
Where did I get stuck?
Answer:List the actions you've successfully taken, and be
transparent about where you've faltered. Perhaps you planned
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to network more but found it difficult. Understanding these
patterns can inform your next steps.
4.Question
What do I need to focus on today to keep moving toward
my goals?
Answer:Prioritize key areas that need immediate attention. If
your goal is career advancement, your focus might be
preparing for an upcoming interview. Clear focus helps
streamline the coaching session toward actionable advice.
5.Question
How do I want to use my coach today?
Answer:Define your expectations for the session. Do you
need advice, support, brainstorming, or just someone to
listen? Being explicit about your needs ensures that you gain
the most value from your time together.
6.Question
What do I want to get out of this session?
Answer:Establish clear objectives for the meeting. For
example, you might want clarity on a major decision. Setting
an intention for the session can lead to a more productive
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Chapter 10 | Choosing a Coach Training School|
Q&A
1.Question
Who do you want to coach?
Answer:Identifying your target audience—be it
business leaders, therapists, or those seeking career
guidance—is crucial because different training
programs cater to different specialties. This
understanding will guide you toward the coaching
school that best prepares you with relevant tools and
language for your specific coaching goals.
2.Question
What learning style suits you best?
Answer:Consider how you prefer to learn: hands-on
workshops provide quick skill development, while academic
programs may offer a deeper theoretical understanding but
less practical application. If convenience is key, tele-classes
offer flexibility but may lack interactive engagement. Reflect
on your preferred learning environment to choose the right
training format.
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3.Question
What can you afford?
Answer:Evaluate the long-term implications of your
coaching education investment. Saving upfront costs on a
lower-quality program might hinder your success and result
in costly setbacks. Consider how vital your training is for
your coaching career and invest wisely in a program that will
equip you for success.
4.Question
What kind of credential do you need for your target
audience?
Answer:Understanding the specific credentials valued in
your coaching niche is essential. For corporate coaching, the
ICF credential often holds prestige, while academic settings
may prioritize a graduate degree. In ministry, alternatives
like tool certifications might prove more relevant. Assess
what qualifications will resonate with your audience.
5.Question
Do you share their values?
Answer:Ensure that the coaching school you choose aligns
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with your personal values and principles. Training methods
and ethical frameworks can vary significantly across schools,
and finding one that resonates with your worldview will
enhance your satisfaction and effectiveness as a coach.
Chapter 11 | Conversational Models| Q&A
1.Question
What is the primary role of the coach in a coaching
interaction?
Answer:The primary role of the coach is to manage
the conversation based on the client's agenda,
facilitating deeper reflection, generating new
thoughts, and guiding the client toward solutions
while remaining conscious of time and the
overarching conversation goals.
2.Question
What challenges do beginning coaches face during
coaching conversations?
Answer:Beginning coaches often struggle to balance their
listening engagement with the need to stay mindful of
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broader conversational dynamics, such as time constraints
and ensuring that the conversation maintains focus towards
its desired outcome.
3.Question
What is the GROW model, and how is it used in
coaching?
Answer:The GROW model stands for Goal > Reality Check
> Options > Will. It is used to structure coaching
conversations by first establishing a goal, assessing the
current reality, exploring various options for action, and then
committing to specific actions to achieve the goal.
4.Question
How does the Coaching Funnel differ from the GROW
model?
Answer:The Coaching Funnel begins with a narrow focus,
broadening to explore various aspects of a situation, and then
narrowing back down to specific actions. This model
emphasizes exploration and self-discovery, making it suitable
for more complex or personal issues compared to the more
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structured, performance-oriented GROW model.
5.Question
How can conversational models be applied outside of
formal coaching situations?
Answer:Conversational models can be utilized in everyday
conversations, such as resolving conflicts at work, discussing
concerns with family members, or even casual discussions
after community events. They help structure these
interactions towards meaningful outcomes.
6.Question
What is the importance of mastering a single
conversational model?
Answer:Mastering a single conversational model allows a
coach to use it instinctively, enabling them to focus entirely
on the client and the conversation without being distracted by
figuring out the next step, thus enhancing the coaching
process.
7.Question
What practical step can coaches take to improve their
skills using conversational models?
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Answer:Coaches can practice a chosen conversational model
at least five times in various settings over a week, which
could include real coaching scenarios or any serious
conversation, to build competence and confidence.
Chapter 12 | The GROW Model| Q&A
1.Question
What is the primary purpose of the GROW model in
coaching?
Answer:To guide coachees through a structured
process of defining their goals, assessing their
current reality, exploring options, and committing to
action steps to achieve those goals.
2.Question
How can a coach ensure that the goals set during a session
are clear and actionable?
Answer:By asking specific questions such as 'What
specifically do you want to accomplish?' and 'How can we
make that goal measurable—so we know when you've
achieved it?'
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3.Question
What is an effective way to conduct a reality check?
Answer:Using objective questions that elicit concrete facts,
such as 'How many times did you do that in the last week?'
instead of subjective assessments.
4.Question
Why is brainstorming options an essential step in the
GROW model?
Answer:It encourages creative thinking and helps the client
explore various potential solutions without immediate
limitations.
5.Question
Can you give an example of a motivational question a
coach might ask during the 'Will' step?
Answer:'On a scale of one to ten, how likely is it that this
step will get done in the time frame you've set?'
6.Question
What should a coach do if a client rates their motivation
below an eight?
Answer:The coach can troubleshoot obstacles or adjust the
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action step to increase the likelihood of success.
7.Question
How can the GROW model be beneficial for addressing
practical issues?
Answer:It breaks down the process into manageable steps
that focus on actionable outcomes, making it ideal for
changing habits or improving performance.
8.Question
What distinguishes the GROW model from other
approaches when dealing with internal issues?
Answer:The GROW model is more structured, so for deeply
personal or internal discoveries, a more free-form coaching
style may be more effective.
9.Question
How can a coach effectively transition from setting goals
to assessing reality?
Answer:By asking probing questions that guide the client to
reflect on their current situation in relation to the defined
goals.
10.Question
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Chapter 13 | The Coaching Funnel| Q&A
1.Question
What is your ultimate objective that you want to achieve
through this coaching relationship?
Answer:Define your goal clearly and succinctly;
consider using S.M.A.R.T. criteria to ensure it's
specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and
time-bound.
2.Question
When you've reached this goal, how will things be
different?
Answer:Visualize the change: describe the tangible results
and feelings associated with achieving your goal.
3.Question
What specific steps will you take to reach this goal, and
by when?
Answer:Establish a timeline for your actions, ensuring
accountability and clarity in what you need to do to progress.
4.Question
What factors or players are most important in the
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situation you are exploring?
Answer:Identify key influences in your scenario that will
either help or hinder your progress towards your goal.
5.Question
What creative options can you brainstorm to move
toward your goal?
Answer:Encourage expansive thinking: think outside the box
for potential solutions, and list at least five different ideas.
6.Question
Which options resonate most with you and why?
Answer:Reflect on your generated list to pick the most
appealing options that align with your values and vision.
7.Question
What concrete action steps can you commit to, and when
will you complete them?
Answer:Transform your chosen option into specific tasks
with deadlines, ensuring they are realistic and achievable.
8.Question
What obstacles might you encounter, and how can you
proactively address them?
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Answer:Anticipate potential challenges and strategize on
how to navigate around or through them.
9.Question
How will you measure your progress toward your goal?
Answer:Decide on indicators of success that will help you
track your advancement and motivate you along your
journey.
10.Question
What have you learned about yourself in this coaching
process?
Answer:Reflect on insights gained during your exploration
and decision-making that may impact your personal growth
beyond this goal.
Chapter 14 | The Coaching Agenda| Q&A
1.Question
What do you most want to talk about today?
Answer:This question prompts the client to reflect
on their immediate concerns and desires, ensuring
the coaching session is relevant and focused on what
truly matters to them.
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2.Question
What could we work on that would make the most
difference for you?
Answer:This encourages clients to think critically about their
priorities, helping them identify the most impactful areas to
work on.
3.Question
If you got really radical today and stopped fearing the
consequences, what would you be doing?
Answer:This question invites bold thinking and creative
exploration, allowing clients to envision their ideal lives
without limitations.
4.Question
How full is your tank—of love, relationships, fulfilling
work, spiritual life, peace of mind? Where do you long for
more?
Answer:This metaphorical question prompts self-assessment,
encouraging clients to evaluate the balance and fulfillment in
different areas of their life.
5.Question
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What is getting in the way of living the life you want?
Answer:This helps uncover obstacles in the client's life,
identifying internal and external barriers that need to be
addressed for progress.
6.Question
If one burden could be removed from you in the next 30
days, what would that be?
Answer:This question encourages clients to pinpoint specific
challenges or stressors they wish to eliminate, emphasizing
the possibility of change.
7.Question
Where do you see your organization going in a year?
What objective are you shooting for?
Answer:This encourages visioning and goal-setting for
leadership, helping clients articulate a clear path for their
organizational future.
8.Question
What brings you 80% of your joy in leadership? What's
causing 80% of your stress?
Answer:This question prompts leaders to distinguish between
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positive and negative experiences in their role, allowing for
targeted actions to enhance joy and reduce stress.
9.Question
What one thing do you need to focus on to take this
organization to the next level?
Answer:This question encourages prioritization, helping
leaders concentrate on the most crucial factor for advancing
their organization.
10.Question
What needs to change about who you are for your
organization to go where it needs to go?
Answer:This question emphasizes personal growth and
adaptation, prompting leaders to reflect on how their
development impacts their organization's success.
Chapter 15 | The Life Wheel| Q&A
1.Question
How satisfied are you with each area of your life, and
what stood out to you in your rankings?
Answer:Reflecting on your rankings will illuminate
areas of high and low satisfaction, potentially
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revealing patterns or insights into what truly
matters to you.
2.Question
Which two areas of your Life Wheel did you score the
highest, and what contributed to those high scores?
Answer:Understanding your top areas can help affirm what
you’re doing well and enable you to build on those strengths.
3.Question
Conversely, which two areas did you score the lowest, and
what factors influenced those scores?
Answer:Exploring low scores helps identify specific
challenges or dissatisfaction that can be addressed for
improvement.
4.Question
What area are you most motivated to work on right now,
and why?
Answer:Identifying your primary focus area can streamline
your coaching sessions and enhance your personal growth.
5.Question
Which area of your Life Wheel would allow you to see the
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biggest impact with the smallest effort?
Answer:This question encourages strategic thinking, helping
prioritize changes that can dramatically enhance overall
satisfaction.
6.Question
What does a perfect 'ten' look like in the area you're
focusing on?
Answer:Visualizing a 'ten' helps clarify goals and aspirations,
leading to more effective strategies for achieving desired
outcomes.
7.Question
What specific steps are necessary to elevate a score of 'six'
to an 'eight', and then to a 'ten'?
Answer:Breaking down improvements into actionable steps
makes the process approachable and realistic.
8.Question
How does your real-world career path compare with your
expectations, and what needs to change?
Answer:Assessing your career satisfaction can provide
insight into alignment with your values and aspirations,
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guiding future decisions.
9.Question
What are your core values when it comes to money, and
how do they reflect your current financial satisfaction?
Answer:Understanding your money values allows for a more
targeted approach to financial planning and goal setting.
10.Question
In which ways can your living environment either
enhance or detract from your quality of life?
Answer:This evaluation can trigger a more mindful approach
to the spaces you inhabit, ultimately contributing to
happiness.
11.Question
What new skill would make the biggest difference in
helping you reach your dreams?
Answer:Identifying specific skills to develop clarifies your
personal growth journey and can lead to fulfilling outcomes.
12.Question
How satisfied are you with your health, and where might
you need to prioritize better self-care?
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Answer:Addressing self-care is crucial for both mental and
physical health, impacting overall life satisfaction.
13.Question
Describe your social life and the level of satisfaction you
derive from it. What improvements are needed?
Answer:Assessing social interactions can lead to deeper
connections and a more vibrant community experience.
14.Question
How do you envision an ideal family or marriage life, and
what steps can you take to get closer to that vision?
Answer:Creating a mental picture of your ideal family life
can motivate you to enact changes in your personal
relationships.
15.Question
What aspirations do you have regarding your
relationship with God, and what gaps exist in that
relationship?
Answer:Exploring spiritual aspirations can lead to personal
transformation and a more profound sense of purpose.
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Chapter 16 | Defining the Problem| Q&A
1.Question
What is the most important problem you want to solve?
Answer:This question helps to pinpoint the core
issue that the client feels is hindering their progress.
For example, if a client expresses that they are
struggling to balance work and family life, this
question prompts them to reflect on the specific
challenges they face in making family time a
priority, rather than defaulting to vague
frustrations.
2.Question
What would make a lasting difference and not just a
temporary one?
Answer:Encouraging the client to think beyond quick fixes
can reveal deeper commitments or values they may be
neglecting. For instance, if the client addresses only the time
management issue but ignores their need for authentic
connection with family, they will likely revert to old habits.
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3.Question
How does this connect with your overall objectives in life?
With your values? Your dreams?
Answer:This asks the client to align their action plan with
their core values and long-term aspirations. For example, a
client may realize that their goal of career advancement
contradicts their value of prioritizing family, prompting a
reevaluation of their priorities.
4.Question
What's behind this?
Answer:This encourages introspection, allowing clients to
crawl under their immediate concerns. A client could
uncover that their perfectionism is the reason behind their
inability to delegate tasks at work, causing stress in their
personal life.
5.Question
If making this change was easy, you'd have done it
already and without my help. What makes it difficult?
Answer:This question sheds light on underlying fears or
beliefs that may be obstructing change, such as fear of failure
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or not feeling deserving of success.
6.Question
What obstacles to change have you run into in the past in
this area?
Answer:This historical perspective can help clients identify
patterns in their behavior. A client who frequently finds
themselves in overwhelming situations may realize they've
repeatedly ignored past cues, such as declining additional
responsibilities.
7.Question
Is this the first time you’ve dealt with this challenge, or
have you faced it before?
Answer:This can reveal whether the issue is a recurring
pattern that requires a different approach or if it is situational.
A client recognizing a cyclical problem might seek out
deeper systemic changes in their life.
8.Question
What I'm hearing you say is that you can do this if you
are just more disciplined. Be honest with yourself: has
that worked for you here in the past?
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Answer:This prompts critical self-reflection, encouraging
clients to consider their past efforts. It can lead to a
realization that discipline alone is insufficient and they may
need a new strategy.
9.Question
Do you need to change your situation, or change the way
you respond to it?
Answer:This promotes ownership and self-agency, moving
clients to consider how their responses shape outcomes. A
client might discover that improving their attitude toward a
challenging coworker could transform their work
environment.
10.Question
What are your expectations in this situation? Are those
expectations serving you well or frustrating you?
Answer:By examining expectations, clients may identify
unrealistic standards they place on themselves or others. For
instance, expecting perfection in every task may lead to
burnout.
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11.Question
What in this situation is within your control, that you can
realistically change?
Answer:Focusing on controllable aspects can empower
clients, enabling them to reclaim agency over their situations
rather than feeling overwhelmed.
12.Question
What would it look like to conquer this once and for all?
Answer:This question inspires clients to envision a future
where the issue no longer exists, prompting innovative
thinking that may lead to a transformative change.
13.Question
What do you believe about your own ability to change in
this area?
Answer:This question uncovers underlying beliefs about
competence and self-efficacy. A client believing they can't
change may resist attempting new strategies.
14.Question
What do you gain from responding this way? What does
it give you that you need?
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Answer:Clients can explore the hidden payoffs of their
behavior. For example, avoiding difficult conversations
might provide temporary relief but lead to long-term
dysfunction.
15.Question
Just as an exercise, let's imagine that you are handling
this the way you are because you choose to do so. What's
leading you to make that choice?
Answer:This reframing encourages accountability and deeper
understanding of motivations behind actions. Acknowledge
patterns of behavior opens the door to exploring new choices.
Chapter 17 | SMART Goals| Q&A
1.Question
What is a SMART goal and why is it important?
Answer:A SMART goal is a specific, measurable,
attainable, relevant, and time-specific objective that
provides clarity and direction. It is important
because it serves as a mandate for the coaching
process, ensuring both client and coach maintain
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focus and motivation. It helps the client define and
visualize exactly what they want to achieve, creating
a clear path forward and avoiding distractions.
2.Question
How can I make sure my goal is specific?
Answer:To make your goal specific, ask yourself: 'What
exactly do I want to accomplish?' and 'What will it look like
when I reach my objective?' For instance, instead of saying 'I
want to be fit,' specify 'I want to run a 5k in under 30 minutes
by June 1st.' This clarity provides a clear destination and
defines the scope of your goal.
3.Question
What does it mean for a goal to be measurable?
Answer:A goal is measurable when you can quantify
progress towards it. Ask yourself: 'How can I measure my
success?' For example, if your goal is to increase sales,
saying 'I want to increase sales by 20% over the next quarter'
provides a clear metric to track your progress.
4.Question
What should I consider to ensure my goal is attainable?
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Answer:To ensure your goal is attainable, evaluate if it is
realistically within your capabilities. Ask: 'Is this goal
something I can achieve considering my current resources
and time?' For instance, if you work full time and have
family commitments, it's crucial to set a goal that considers
these barriers, such as aiming to read one book a month
instead of five.
5.Question
Why is relevance important in goal setting?
Answer:Relevance helps ensure that the goal truly matters to
you. Reflect on questions like: 'Why is this goal important to
me?' If you can't find compelling reasons, the motivation to
pursue it may diminish. For example, a goal to improve
public speaking skills is relevant if you seek a promotion that
requires such skills, enhancing your commitment.
6.Question
How do I set a deadline for my goal?
Answer:Setting a deadline gives urgency to your goal.
Consider asking, 'By when will I complete this goal?' or
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'When will I start working on it?' For instance, if you're
aiming to lose weight, stating 'I will lose 10 pounds by
September 30th' creates a clear timeframe that encourages
accountability and fosters a sense of urgency.
Chapter 18 | Probing Questions| Q&A
1.Question
What are probing questions and why are they important
in coaching?
Answer:Probing questions are open-ended inquiries
that encourage clients to explore their thoughts and
feelings more deeply, rather than responding with a
simple 'yes' or 'no.' Their importance lies in their
ability to help clients uncover insights, understand
their situations better, and identify the most
significant aspects of their experiences.
2.Question
What is the difference between broad and narrow
questions in coaching?
Answer:Broad questions allow for a wide range of responses,
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guiding the conversation to what's most significant to the
coachee. In contrast, narrow questions limit responses and
may prevent the client from discussing crucial elements. For
example, instead of asking 'What did you say in reply?' a
broader question like 'How did you respond?' opens up more
avenues for exploration.
3.Question
How can coaches effectively broaden their questions?
Answer:To broaden questions, coaches can eliminate
restrictive language and focus on allowing various types of
responses. For instance, instead of asking 'Describe that
feeling of disappointment,' a broader question would be
'Describe that feeling,' which opens up the conversation to
encompass multiple emotions.
4.Question
What are some angles a coach can use to explore a client's
situation?
Answer:Coaches can explore various angles including the
Past (e.g., 'What led up to this?'), the Future (e.g., 'Where do
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you see this going?'), Emotions (e.g., 'How do you feel about
that?'), Others' Viewpoints (e.g., 'How do you think your
[boss, spouse, peers] see this?'), and Concrete Actions (e.g.,
'Give me a specific example of that.'). Each angle provides
fresh insights and perspectives.
5.Question
What are some simple, effective coaching questions that
can be used to facilitate deeper conversations?
Answer:Simple coaching questions include: 'Say more about
that,' 'What else?' 'Tell me more,' 'And?' and 'What's behind
that?' These straightforward inquiries can help keep the
conversation flowing and encourage deeper exploration.
6.Question
What are some key values and principles coaches should
consider when working with clients?
Answer:Coaches should ask clients about their values and
principles that influence their responses, such as ethical
standards or personal beliefs. Questions like 'What values do
you hold that will influence your responses to this?' help
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uncover how personal values impact decision-making.
7.Question
How can a coach help a client clarify their goals during
coaching sessions?
Answer:A coach can ask specific questions aimed at
understanding the client's desired outcomes, such as 'What do
you want? What's the objective here?' This helps clients
define their goals and the steps needed to achieve them.
8.Question
What is the Observation and Question technique and why
is it beneficial?
Answer:The Observation and Question technique involves
listening to a client and responding to a significant point with
a follow-up question like 'Tell me more about that.' This
technique is beneficial because it encourages open dialogue,
allowing the client to delve deeper into areas of importance
while the coach takes a supportive listening role.
9.Question
What common mistakes should coaches avoid while
asking questions?
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Answer:Coaches should avoid asking leading questions,
interrupting the client, or prioritizing their insights over the
coachee's perspective. It's essential to maintain a supportive
and exploratory environment, allowing clients to guide the
conversation based on their own insights and needs.
10.Question
What is the importance of exploring emotions in coaching
conversations?
Answer:Exploring emotions allows clients to articulate their
feelings about situations, fostering greater self-awareness and
clarity. Questions like 'How do you feel about that?' reveal
deeper insights into the client's experiences and responses,
which can be crucial for personal growth.
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Chapter 19 | Options| Q&A
1.Question
What is one effective technique to help someone generate
creative solutions when they are stuck?
Answer:The Five Options Technique encourages
individuals to think of at least five potential
solutions. By pushing them to list more options, it
stimulates creativity and helps them move out of a
stuck mindset. For example, if someone is
overwhelmed with a project deadline, you might
ask, 'What are five different ways you could
approach this project?'. This process allows them to
explore ideas they might not have considered
initially.
2.Question
How can acknowledging obstacles enhance the coaching
experience?
Answer:By addressing barriers directly, we can create
pathways to solutions. For instance, asking 'What is stopping
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you from achieving this goal?' allows the coachee to
articulate specific concerns, which can lead us to brainstorm
viable options to overcome those hurdles. If a coachee
expresses time constraints, we can ask, 'Give me five options
on how you could find more time in your schedule to work
on this.' This approach promotes proactive thinking.
3.Question
How does visualizing an ideal future assist in goal setting?
Answer:The Ideal Future Technique helps clients envision
the best possible outcome, motivating them to work towards
that vision. By asking questions like 'Imagine you have
achieved this goal. What does your life look like now?', it
prompts them to create a detailed mental picture, which can
inspire action and clarify the steps needed to achieve that
future.
4.Question
What is a way to facilitate an inward transformation
during coaching?
Answer:By asking reflective questions such as 'What could
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change about you that would transform your situation?' we
encourage coachees to consider personal growth as a
pathway to external solutions. This perspective can empower
them to overcome challenges by shifting their mindset rather
than just adjusting their circumstances.
5.Question
In what ways can encouraging coachees to think outside
the box lead to new solutions?
Answer:When a coachee is confined by their own limitations
or beliefs, encouraging them to explore options outside their
usual boundaries can unlock new solutions. For example, if
they feel they can't change their circumstances, you might
ask, 'What if you made a more fundamental change to your
situation?'. This questions their assumptions and opens the
door to creative thinking.
6.Question
How can framing situations as opportunities for personal
growth alter a coachee's perspective?
Answer:Transforming challenges into growth opportunities
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repositions adversity as a beneficial experience. Asking, 'If
this situation is designed for your personal growth, what
opportunities do you see?' can help the coachee shift from a
victim mentality to one of empowerment, fostering resilience
and encouraging proactive responses.
7.Question
What impact does asking 'What would you do if you
knew you could not fail?' have on coachees?
Answer:This question removes fear and the weight of
potential failure from their decision-making process,
allowing coachees to envision bold and authentic actions. It
empowers them to tap into their aspirations without
self-doubt, leading to pathways they might not have
considered under normal circumstances.
8.Question
Why is it important to let coachees do their own thinking
rather than providing solutions for them?
Answer:Allowing coachees to derive their own conclusions
fosters ownership and commitment to their decisions. When
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they articulate their own solutions, such as through the Five
Options Technique, they gain confidence in their ability to
navigate challenges, enhancing their self-efficacy.
Chapter 20 | Action Steps| Q&A
1.Question
What is the importance of translating coaching options
into action steps?
Answer:Transitioning from options to action steps is
crucial because it enables clients to focus on concrete
activities that lead to tangible progress toward their
goals. It emphasizes the shift from mere possibilities
to actual commitments, fostering responsibility and
empowerment.
2.Question
How does the 'Could Do > Want To > Will Do' model
facilitate client commitment?
Answer:This model guides clients in exploring options
('Could Do'), selecting their preferred option ('Want To'), and
committing to a specific action plan ('Will Do'). This
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progression not only clarifies their choices but reinforces
their commitment to actionable steps.
3.Question
Why is the 'Want To' step critical in the action planning
process?
Answer:The 'Want To' step helps ensure that clients are
genuinely interested in pursuing an option. Skipping this step
may lead clients to take actions they do not fully support,
which can result in low follow-through and a lack of
motivation.
4.Question
What types of questions can help address obstacles when
creating action steps?
Answer:Questions like 'Are there any obstacles to getting this
done that we need to address?' and 'Who else do you need to
check with or work with to make this happen?' prompt clients
to think proactively about challenges and necessary
collaborations, increasing their chances of success.
5.Question
What indicates that a client has not fully committed to
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their action steps?
Answer:Equivocal language such as 'I might...' or 'Maybe I
should...' signifies a lack of commitment. Recognizing these
phrases allows the coach to prompt deeper reflection and
clarity in decision-making.
6.Question
What are the four tests of an effective action step?
Answer:Effective action steps must have Clarity (clear
instructions), Datebook (a specific time for execution),
Commitment (a firm intention to do it), and Deadline (a set
completion date). Meeting these criteria ensures the action
steps are actionable and achievable.
7.Question
How can a progress report enhance accountability in
coaching sessions?
Answer:A progress report encourages clients to reflect on
their accountability by articulating what they've
accomplished since the last session. It fosters a sense of
responsibility and keeps the coaching conversation focused
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on actionable results.
8.Question
What is the significance of using open-ended versus direct
questions in the coaching process?
Answer:Open-ended questions encourage exploration and
self-reflection, whereas direct questions move clients toward
making firm decisions and commitments, creating a balance
that supports effective coaching.
9.Question
How can coaches ensure successful execution of action
steps?
Answer:By incorporating questions that encourage reflection
on obstacles, commitments, and accountability, coaches can
help clients devise practical steps that are not only achievable
but also tailored to their individual circumstances.
Chapter 21 | Identifying Obstacles| Q&A
1.Question
What is the first step in identifying obstacles that hinder
progress towards a goal?
Answer:The first step is to ask, 'What is stopping
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you?' This question helps surface both internal and
external barriers that may not be immediately
obvious.
2.Question
How can understanding external obstacles contribute to
achieving a goal?
Answer:By identifying external obstacles such as practical
factors like time or support, one can create a more feasible
plan that takes these elements into account, making success
more attainable.
3.Question
What role do internal obstacles play in the change
process?
Answer:Internal obstacles such as fears, beliefs, or emotional
responses can significantly hinder progress; recognizing
them allows individuals to address the underlying issues
rather than just the surface problem.
4.Question
Can you provide an example of a situation where saying
'no' could be an internal obstacle?
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Answer:For example, an employee might struggle with
saying 'no' to extra work assignments, feeling guilty or
fearing they will disappoint their boss, which leads to
overwhelm and burnout rather than focusing on their own
priorities.
5.Question
How can coaches help clients discover hidden obstacles?
Answer:Coaches can ask probing questions like, 'What do
you gain from not changing?' or 'What's driving your
responses?' to help clients reflect and uncover the deeper
motivations or fears holding them back.
6.Question
What is one effective approach to uncovering obstacles
during coaching sessions?
Answer:Utilizing an exercise where the individual shares a
situation they have been struggling with can be effective;
asking targeted questions will help them explore and identify
specific obstacles.
7.Question
What is one major internal obstacle that may appear
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when considering change?
Answer:Fear of failure can be a major internal obstacle,
where individuals may worry about the worst-case scenario,
preventing them from taking action.
8.Question
How important is it to address both internal and external
obstacles to facilitate change?
Answer:It's crucial to address both internal and external
obstacles, as neglecting one can lead to half-hearted solutions
and ultimately hinder true transformation.
9.Question
What action step might result from recognizing an
obstacle?
Answer:Recognizing an obstacle may lead to the action step
of setting boundaries or acquiring new skills that directly
address the identified barriers, paving the way for progress.
10.Question
What kinds of beliefs might hinder progress, and how can
they be challenged?
Answer:Beliefs such as 'I'm not capable' or 'I don't deserve
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Chapter 22 | Overcoming Obstacles: Seven
Strategies| Q&A
1.Question
How can dreaming without obstacles influence your
pursuit of a goal?
Answer:Dreaming without obstacles allows you to
envision your goals freely. By imagining that all
barriers are removed, you can feel the surge of
possibility and hope. This feeling catalyzes
motivation and energy needed to tackle real
challenges.
2.Question
What strategies can help you recall past successes when
facing new obstacles?
Answer:Reflecting on similar past experiences gives you
insights into effective strategies that worked previously.
Asking yourself about how you overcame previous
challenges can boost your confidence and remind you of
practical ways to approach the current situation.
3.Question
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What are some brainstorming techniques to overcome
obstacles?
Answer:A simple yet effective technique is to generate a list
of five options to navigate through the obstacle. Additionally,
identifying resources needed and potential sources for them
can also broaden your approach.
4.Question
Why is it important to name internal fears out loud?
Answer:Naming internal fears diminishes their power by
exposing them to scrutiny. When you articulate fears, they
become clearer and manageable, stripping away their
invincibility.
5.Question
How can confronting fears in small doses help overcome
obstacles?
Answer:By intentionally facing fears in limited, manageable
scenarios, you can observe your reactions and emotional
responses. This process often uncovers valuable insights into
the nature of the obstacle, allowing for a more rational
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approach to overcoming it.
6.Question
What role do hypotheticals play in addressing
deep-seated beliefs?
Answer:Hypotheticals allow individuals to explore new
beliefs and ideas without the fear of commitment. By
imagining scenarios that challenge their assumptions, clients
can gain perspectives that help them consider alternate
possibilities.
7.Question
How can understanding the reasons behind behaviors
facilitate change?
Answer:When you explore and articulate the rationale behind
your beliefs or behaviors, it often reveals deeper motivations.
Understanding these reasons is key to initiating behavioral
change, as it aligns actions with genuine values.
8.Question
What should you do following the 'Identifying Obstacles'
exercise with a peer coach?
Answer:After identifying obstacles and employing the seven
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techniques, take time to debrief. Discuss what strategies were
effective, why they worked, and what insights you gained.
This reflection solidifies learning and prepares you for future
challenges.
Chapter 23 | Design: Who Am I?| Q&A
1.Question
What do you already know about what you were made to
do?
Answer:Reflect on your passions, your interests, and
the moments in life when you felt truly alive or
fulfilled. What activities put you in a state of flow?
2.Question
What's been most meaningful to you in life?
Answer:Consider the experiences that shaped your values or
led you to profound realizations. What events defined who
you are today?
3.Question
When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you
grew up?
Answer:Think back to your childhood dreams. Did you wish
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to be an artist, a firefighter, or an explorer? How do those
aspirations resonate with you today?
4.Question
What roles or responsibilities do you enjoy and feel good
at?
Answer:Identify your happiest and most satisfying roles.
Whether as a friend, a team leader, or a creator, what feels
energizing?
5.Question
If every experience of your life was planned to train you
for your destiny, what would you say your whole life has
prepared you to do?
Answer:Imagine each experience as a stepping stone towards
a greater purpose. What overarching themes do you see that
lead to your destiny?
6.Question
What do those who know you well say about what you are
made to do?
Answer:Seek feedback from trusted friends or family. Their
perceptions can illuminate strengths or vocations you might
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overlook.
7.Question
Do you know your personality type from any assessment?
How would a good friend describe what you are like?
Answer:Utilize personality tests like Myers-Briggs to gain
insights on your traits. How do these traits align with how
friends perceive you?
8.Question
What are you great at? What are your best talents or
natural abilities?
Answer:List your greatest skills—those talents that come
naturally to you, that you can confidently share with the
world.
9.Question
What part does your relationship with God play in your
sense of life purpose?
Answer:Reflect on spiritual moments where you've felt
guided or directed. How does this connection shape your
vision for your life?
10.Question
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Is there a sense of call or destiny that was passed down to
you from your parents?
Answer:Explore family legacies and inherited beliefs. What
values or missions have been instilled in you, and how do
you resonate with them?
11.Question
What is your family's historical legacy?
Answer:Consider the achievements or struggles your family
has faced. How do you want to honor or diverge from this
legacy in your own life?
12.Question
What experience gave you an unusual sense of purpose?
Answer:Reflect on transformative moments that solidified
your desire to pursue certain paths. What emotional
resonance did these experiences hold?
13.Question
What do others who know you well say that you are good
at?
Answer:Gather insights from peers about your strengths.
Their feedback can provide validation to areas that align with
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your purpose.
14.Question
What valuable experiences can you draw on to
accomplish your dreams?
Answer:Identify lessons learned from past journeys. How
can these experiences empower you in your current
endeavors?
15.Question
What is your sense of God's unique purpose for your life?
Answer:Engage in introspection about your spiritual beliefs.
How does this purpose manifest in your actions and goals?
16.Question
Can you name any sense of purpose that runs through
your family?
Answer:Reflect on common causes or passions within your
family. How do you connect with or wish to contribute to
these?
Chapter 24 | Passion: What Motivates Me?| Q&A
1.Question
What are you most passionate about in life?
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Answer:Consider the moments that truly light you
up. Is it helping others? Creating art? Traveling?
Dive deep into what you love and why.
2.Question
If you had a year to live, what would be most important
to you to do and be in that time?
Answer:Imagine your last year—spend time with loved
ones? Accomplish a long-held dream? This question reveals
priorities.
3.Question
What do you do that would be hardest to do without?
Answer:Reflect on activities that bring you joy or fulfillment,
like hobbies or community involvement, that if taken away,
would leave a void.
4.Question
What makes your heart sing?
Answer:Identify activities that give you unparalleled
joy—this might include playing music, teaching, or engaging
in nature.
5.Question
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What are the issues, injustices, principles or causes that
you get riled up about?
Answer:Think about social issues or injustices that anger or
motivate you. This can give insight into your core values.
6.Question
What were the three things you've done that you couldn't
wait to get at each day? What about three things you
dreaded?
Answer:Listing both helps clarify what energizes you versus
what drains you, guiding future decisions.
7.Question
What fulfills you in life after you accomplish something?
Answer:Consider activities that give you a sense of
achievement—whether it's completing a project or
overcoming challenges.
8.Question
If you could change one thing in the world, what would it
be?
Answer:Think about the change you want to manifest. This
can point to your life's mission or purpose.
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9.Question
Have you ever seen a tragedy on the news that made you
cry? What was it? Why did it impact you so deeply?
Answer:Reflect on emotional responses to events, as they
might reveal your empathetic nature or core commitments.
10.Question
What dreams have you set aside as silly or impractical?
Answer:Revive those 'impractical' dreams—sometimes they
hold keys to your genuine desires.
11.Question
If you could visualize your ideal life, what would it look
like?
Answer:Picture your ideal future encompassing work,
relationships, leisure—this can lead to clearer goals.
12.Question
What does your ideal team look like? Who's on it?
Answer:Creating a mental image of a supportive team can
clarify your collaborations and values in teamwork.
13.Question
What are your core values?
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Answer:Identify what principles govern your
decisions—these are foundational for self-awareness and
personal leadership.
14.Question
Imagine you are 80 years old. Which dream would cause
the greatest regret if you had not pursued it?
Answer:This urges you to consider what truly matters,
helping prioritize your life path.
15.Question
What will you lose if you just stay safe and don't chase
your dreams?
Answer:Assessing the cost of inaction can motivate you to
step out of your comfort zone.
16.Question
What experiences do you want to have in your lifetime?
Answer:Creating a bucket list can help you identify
experiences that contribute to fulfillment.
17.Question
What do you want to learn or master?
Answer:Connecting dreams to personal growth can bring
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clarity to your aspirations.
18.Question
How would you arrange your tasks in your ideal job?
Answer:Designing your day-to-day tasks according to your
natural rhythms can lead to greater satisfaction.
19.Question
How is your value reflected in your current life?
Answer:Examine your day-to-day actions and decisions to
align your lifestyle with your core values.
20.Question
What are your 'soap box' issues?
Answer:These reflect what matters to you deeply and can
motivate you to take action.
21.Question
What would your ideal schedule look like?
Answer:Consider a day structured around your peak
productivity times—this can enhance your overall
effectiveness.
22.Question
What dreams are you afraid to voice?
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Chapter 25 | Experience: Life's Prep School| Q&A
1.Question
What has your whole life prepared you to do?
Answer:Reflect on the diverse experiences you've
gathered throughout your life — both joyful and
challenging. Each chapter has equipped you with
unique insights and skills. For instance, if you've
been involved in community service, it might have
honed your empathy and organizational skills,
preparing you for a role in social work or
community leadership.
2.Question
What experiences have most shaped who you are as a
person?
Answer:Consider pivotal moments in your life, such as
overcoming a significant hardship or achieving a personal
goal. Perhaps an experience with failure taught you
resilience; this newfound strength shapes your aspirations to
help others overcome their challenges.
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3.Question
What kind of role or task would bring all the best of what
you've learned in life to bear?
Answer:Think about positions that utilize your diverse skills
— for example, a teacher who combines their life lessons and
academic knowledge to inspire students, or a mentor who
guides others through difficult transitions.
4.Question
Who has your life prepared you to serve?
Answer:Identify groups or communities that resonate with
your story. If you've experienced struggles with addiction,
you may feel called to help others battling similar issues,
using your journey as a beacon of hope.
5.Question
What have your failures and missteps qualified you to
do?
Answer:Failures can grant you invaluable insights. If you
faced a setback in a career, you might now have the ability to
coach others facing similar obstacles, showing them
pathways to redemption and success.
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6.Question
What opportunities might your mistakes open to you that
wouldn't have come had you succeeded?
Answer:Think about how a failed business venture taught
you about perseverance. This newfound knowledge could
empower you to start a new venture with a more informed
perspective.
7.Question
What gifts have your failures given you?
Answer:Consider how your setbacks have added depth to
your character, such as the ability to empathize with others'
struggles or develop problem-solving skills that arise from
navigating challenges.
8.Question
What knowledge or skills have you acquired in your
career that you want to incorporate as you pursue your
purpose in life?
Answer:Identify transferable skills, like communication or
project management that can enhance your future endeavors,
perhaps by using these talents in non-profit work or
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entrepreneurial pursuits.
9.Question
What have you accomplished in your career that you are
most proud of?
Answer:Celebrating achievements, such as leading a
successful project or improving team efficiency, can
highlight your leadership qualities that are essential in your
life purpose.
10.Question
What are the five most important skills you’ll need to
fully live out your life purpose?
Answer:List practical skills like financial management or
public speaking. Assess your competency on a scale and note
areas for improvement as you pursue your life purpose.
11.Question
If you were hiring yourself, what job would your
experience best qualify you for?
Answer:Envision roles that align with your past experiences
and passions, such as becoming a consultant where you
advise businesses based on your industry expertise.
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12.Question
What are some of your key learned skills?
Answer:Reflect on skills such as conflict resolution or
creative problem-solving that have become second nature to
you and prepare you for future challenges.
13.Question
Give me two or three examples of skills you've picked up
that have made a big difference in the trajectory of your
life.
Answer:Consider skills like effective networking that led to
new career opportunities or crisis management skills honed
from resolving workplace challenges.
14.Question
Describe a specific day or single experience where you felt
like you were doing what you were born to do?
Answer:Recall a moment, like conducting a workshop that
empowered others — a moment where you felt completely
aligned with your purpose, marking a high point in your
journey.
15.Question
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What was the impact of what you did on others?
Answer:Evaluate the positive changes in those you served,
such as increased confidence or motivation, which reinforces
the significance of your actions in fulfilling your purpose.
16.Question
What led you to choose these stories instead of some
others?
Answer:Consider the emotional weight or insights these
stories provide, revealing aspects of yourself that reflect your
life's calling or deeper desires.
Chapter 26 | Calling: Serving the Greater Good|
Q&A
1.Question
What legacy do you want to leave behind?
Answer:Think about the impact you want to have on
the world and how you wish to be remembered after
you are gone.
2.Question
What's a really great legacy look like to you? Give me an
example or two of a life you truly admire.
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Answer:Consider someone like Nelson Mandela or Mother
Teresa, who dedicated their lives to justice and compassion.
Their legacies inspire us to strive for change and kindness.
3.Question
What do you care most about that is bigger than you?
Answer:Identify your passions, such as environmental
advocacy or supporting the underprivileged, and reflect on
how you want to contribute to these causes.
4.Question
What world-changing dream makes your heart beat
faster?
Answer:This could be a vision of eradicating poverty,
promoting education, or advancing equality. It's a dream that
ignites your passion and drives you to take action.
5.Question
If you could spend your life working to change one thing
in the world that would make a real difference for others,
what would that one thing be?
Answer:Choose an issue that resonates deeply with
you—such as mental health awareness or access to clean
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water—that fuels your desire to create change.
6.Question
Imagine you are at the end of your life looking back.
What deeds would enable you to honestly say, 'That was a
life well lived!'?
Answer:Visualize the moments and accomplishments you
would want to define your life, emphasizing meaningful
connections, contributions, and personal growth.
7.Question
Who do you want to help in your life?
Answer:Narrow down your focus to specific groups, such as
children, the elderly, or victims of poverty, which will help
clarify your calling.
8.Question
What needs do you see on the street, in people or on the
news that grip your heart?
Answer:Reflect on the societal issues that emotionally affect
you, prompting you to want to take action.
9.Question
What kind of injustice makes you want to ride to the
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rescue?
Answer:Identify injustices that spark your motivation,
whether it's racial inequality, animal rights, or human
trafficking.
10.Question
What areas do you repeatedly find others looking to you
for hope or wisdom?
Answer:Consider where your strengths lie and how you
might serve those who seek guidance or assistance from you.
11.Question
What difficulties have you faced that became defining
moments when you overcame them?
Answer:Look at your past challenges and how they prepared
you to assist others facing similar struggles.
12.Question
What experiences of suffering or injustice have deeply
marked you?
Answer:Use your personal experiences to identify where you
might best contribute to helping others heal or find hope.
13.Question
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What do your spiritual values have to say about the
purpose of life?
Answer:Explore how your faith shapes your understanding of
purpose and what you've been called to do.
14.Question
What has God put you on this earth for? What are you
made to do for others?
Answer:Seek clarity on your divine purpose and how it
aligns with serving others in meaningful ways.
15.Question
What has God spoken to you directly or through others
about your calling?
Answer:Reflect on moments of revelation or encouragement
that have pointed you towards your calling.
Chapter 27 | The Gap: What's Missing?| Q&A
1.Question
What is missing from your life right now?
Answer:Identify the voids in your life, whether
emotional, relational, or professional, to uncover
areas that need addressing.
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2.Question
In which areas of your life do you feel the most
satisfaction? Where do you feel the most dissatisfaction?
Answer:Reflect on your family, work, home, and finances to
distinguish areas of contentment versus frustration.
3.Question
On a scale of one to ten, what's your current stress level?
Answer:Understanding your stress level can provide clarity
on your well-being and the impact of stress on your life.
4.Question
How do you feel when you visualize your work
environment and your home?
Answer:This exercise helps to surface emotional responses
connected to your daily realities and highlights areas needing
attention.
5.Question
What percentage of your time are you living in alignment
with your calling?
Answer:Assessing this alignment helps to clarify how
connected you are to your true purpose in life.
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6.Question
Think about your true capacity—what percentage are
you currently living at?
Answer:Evaluating this can reveal underutilization of your
potential and areas needing growth and change.
7.Question
What are three things you love about your life?
Answer:Acknowledging the positives reinforces gratitude
and awareness of fulfilling aspects.
8.Question
What is one thing on your 'Leave It' list that could
significantly improve your life if changed?
Answer:Identifying impactful changes can serve as a catalyst
for transformation.
9.Question
How well does your daily lifestyle support your life
purpose?
Answer:Analyzing this alignment can identify contradictions
between actions and values, guiding necessary adjustments.
10.Question
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What one step could you take now to better align your
daily life with your purpose?
Answer:Taking actionable steps towards alignment fosters
meaningful changes in your daily routine.
11.Question
What is stopping you from dealing with your entire
'Leave It' list?
Answer:Confronting barriers to change can empower you to
break free from stagnation and move towards a better reality.
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Chapter 28 | Tolerating/Coping| Q&A
1.Question
What are the little annoyances in life that steal your
energy or rob your joy?
Answer:These might be as simple as a cluttered
workspace, recurring minor conflicts with friends or
family, or unwelcome distractions that disrupt your
focus. For instance, if you find yourself repeatedly
irritated by a coworker's habit of interrupting
during meetings, that could be a significant energy
drain.
2.Question
What are you tolerating in your life that you haven't
considered taking action on?
Answer:You might be tolerating an unfulfilling job, a lack of
communication in a relationship, or even just items in your
home that you don’t love. Asking yourself this can lead to a
significant shift by prompting you to act, like deciding to
have an honest discussion with your partner or seeking new
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job opportunities.
3.Question
What possessions are cluttering up your life?
Answer:These are items that you’ve kept but no longer bring
you joy or serve a purpose, such as old clothes you never
wear or gadgets that gather dust. Identifying these can help
simplify your space and mind.
4.Question
Does it feel like life is happening to you in this area?
What proactive step could change that?
Answer:If you feel like you're just going through the
motions, identify one action—like setting aside time for
hobbies or boundaries at work—to regain control and bring
joy back into your life.
5.Question
What would your life look like if this problem was
completely gone?
Answer:Envision a scenario without that obstacle: perhaps
you’d feel lighter, more focused, and happier. This
visualization can motivate you to take the necessary steps
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towards change.
6.Question
How can you make peace with circumstances you can't
change?
Answer:You might start by reflecting on what those
experiences are teaching you, focusing on the personal
growth that comes from hardship, and finding gratitude in the
small moments despite challenges.
7.Question
What are ten simple things you can do that would give
you joy?
Answer:This could include small joys like enjoying a
morning coffee in silence, taking a walk in nature, or
indulging in a favorite hobby. The key is to recognize these
small moments can contribute to overall happiness.
8.Question
What are five things that feed your soul?
Answer:Consider activities like reading, spending time with
loved ones, doing yoga, volunteering, or creating art. By
intentionally making time for these, you can refresh your
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spirit and alleviate feelings of exhaustion.
9.Question
What good could come from a challenging experience?
Answer:Challenges could teach resilience, deepen your
understanding of compassion, or reveal your strengths.
Reflecting on this can transform a negative experience into
one of personal growth.
10.Question
What are two great qualities of each of your teammates?
Answer:This exercise can help shift your focus from
frustration to appreciation, fostering a more collaborative and
supportive team environment, which can build trust and
improve relationships.
Chapter 29 | Self-Care| Q&A
1.Question
What do you feel you can give to others right now?
Answer:Reflect on your strengths and talents.
Perhaps you can offer support and encouragement,
share your knowledge, or simply be present for
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someone in need.
2.Question
When was the last time you felt significantly less stressed?
What changes led to that feeling?
Answer:Recall a time when you felt balanced; maybe you
took a vacation, streamlined your tasks, or had more quality
time with family. Consider how to replicate those changes.
3.Question
What are the emotions that surface when you review your
daily tasks?
Answer:Identify feelings like anxiety, joy, or fatigue as you
scan your task list. This can reveal what drains or uplifts you.
4.Question
What is your body telling you about your pace of life?
Answer:Notice physical signs such as exhaustion or tension.
Assess whether you're energized or struggling to keep up
with daily demands.
5.Question
On a scale from 1 to 10, where do you rate your overall
stress level?
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Answer:Use this scale as a reflective tool to understand how
much stress is affecting you and how it changes your
perspective on life.
6.Question
What does your ideal life pace look like?
Answer:Visualize a day that balances work, rest, and leisure,
giving yourself permission to enjoy life without rushing.
7.Question
If you wanted to reduce your stress significantly, what
immediate changes would you implement?
Answer:Consider practical steps like delegating tasks, setting
boundaries, or prioritizing time for self-care.
8.Question
What’s one area of your life that feels out of balance?
Answer:Identify which aspect, such as work or personal
relationships, is consuming too much energy and assess what
can be adjusted.
9.Question
If you had complete freedom to redesign your life, what
would your priorities be?
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Answer:List values that truly matter to you, like family,
health, creativity, or adventure, and align your activities to
reflect them.
10.Question
Where do you feel the need for better boundaries?
Answer:Identify relationships or situations where you tend to
over-commit and need to assertively say 'no'.
11.Question
What could you gain from standing up for your
boundaries?
Answer:Acknowledging your worth can lead to improved
relationships, increased respect from others, and inner peace.
12.Question
What strategies could help you say 'no' when necessary?
Answer:Consider rehearsing difficult conversations or setting
pre-determined limits to help you maintain your boundaries.
13.Question
What is costing you by not asserting your boundaries?
Answer:Reflect on the personal sacrifices you make, such as
stress levels, time, and energy wasted on unwanted
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commitments.
14.Question
What would empower you to uphold your boundaries?
Answer:Explore sources of support that motivate you, like
accountability partners, affirmations, or personal
development resources.
Chapter 30 | Affirmation| Q&A
1.Question
What specific accomplishments of the individual can I
celebrate?
Answer:Identify recent achievements, such as
completing a challenging project or overcoming a
personal hurdle. Recognize the effort they put into
achieving these milestones to make the affirmation
more meaningful.
2.Question
How can I better affirm the small steps forward that this
person is taking?
Answer:Reflect on recent interactions and highlight even
minor advancements, such as improving their time
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management skills or gaining confidence in public speaking.
Acknowledge these as steps towards their larger goals.
3.Question
What do I believe about this person's future based on
their efforts so far?
Answer:Visualize their potential and articulate a vision for
their future success, like excelling in their chosen career or
personal growth, which could inspire them to keep pushing
forward.
4.Question
What true value or greatness have I seen in this person?
Answer:Describe character traits such as resilience,
creativity, or compassion that stand out to you. This
recognition can empower them to embrace their identity and
strive for even greater heights.
5.Question
At your best, who are you?
Answer:Encourage the individual to articulate their best self;
for example, 'At my best, I am a motivated leader who
inspires others.' This reflection can be pivotal for
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self-awareness and personal development.
6.Question
What hidden treasure inside this person can I name?
Answer:Observe qualities that may not be immediately
apparent, like a unique talent for connecting with others or
exceptional problem-solving skills, and vocalize these. This
can help them recognize their own worth.
7.Question
What future do I see for this person that they may not see
themselves?
Answer:Share your perspective on their potential trajectory,
perhaps suggesting leadership roles or impactful
contributions to their community that align with their
passions and abilities.
8.Question
How can I express my confidence in their abilities?
Answer:Verbalize your belief in their skills, saying
something like, 'I believe you have the determination and
skills to achieve your goals.' This instills a sense of belief
that motivates them to act.
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Chapter 31 | Decision Making| Q&A
1.Question
How will you make that decision?
Answer:I will take a moment to evaluate my options
and consider the pros and cons of each choice.
2.Question
What would a great decision look like?
Answer:A great decision would feel empowering and align
with my values and long-term goals.
3.Question
What do you need to know to make a great decision?
Answer:I need to gather relevant information about the
options, potential consequences, and how they align with my
core values.
4.Question
What are the factors that will make the most difference to
you?
Answer:The factors include my personal values, emotional
well-being, and how the decision impacts my relationships.
5.Question
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How do you usually make decisions?
Answer:I often rely on intuition and gut feelings but
recognize I should consider more structured approaches.
6.Question
What could you choose to do differently in your
decision-making process?
Answer:I could incorporate a team decision-making approach
to gain diverse perspectives on my options.
7.Question
How does this decision align with your passions and your
calling?
Answer:This decision aligns closely with my passion for
helping others and pursuing a fulfilling career.
8.Question
Take a moment and imagine you're at the end of your life
reflecting back on this decision. What will seem most
important?
Answer:I'll likely wish I had prioritized choices that
contributed to my happiness and fulfillment rather than just
pragmatic concerns.
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9.Question
If you say 'Yes' to this commitment, what will you stop
doing?
Answer:I need to stop overcommitting myself to projects that
drain my energy and start focusing on what truly matters.
10.Question
What fears or inner drives are influencing your response?
Answer:I fear missing out on opportunities and being judged
by others, which may cloud my judgment.
11.Question
What emotions are you experiencing regarding this
decision, and what do they reveal about you?
Answer:I feel anxious, which signals my attachment to
certain outcomes; it reveals my desire for control and fear of
failure.
12.Question
What can you learn about becoming a great
decision-maker through this process?
Answer:I can learn to balance my rational analysis with my
intuitive insights and remain open to feedback from trusted
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advisors.
13.Question
How will this decision affect the people around you?
Answer:It might bring additional stress to my team, but if
managed well, it could also inspire collaboration and
innovation.
14.Question
What is your gut saying about this decision?
Answer:My gut is leaning towards caution; I need to ensure I
am not acting impulsively.
15.Question
What would it cost you if you didn't make a decision
now?
Answer:If I delay, I may lose valuable opportunities and
create uncertainty for others who depend on my leadership.
16.Question
What could you do to minimize the risks associated with
this decision?
Answer:I could seek advice from mentors, run through
potential scenarios, and create a contingency plan.
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17.Question
If fear were absent, what decision would you make?
Answer:Without fear, I would pursue the opportunity that
excites me the most, trusting in my ability to adapt.
18.Question
Can you articulate your mission and how this decision fits
within it?
Answer:My mission is to foster positive change, and this
decision aligns by presenting an opportunity to make an
impactful contribution.
19.Question
How does considering different perspectives influence
your decision-making?
Answer:Hearing various viewpoints helps to round out my
understanding of the implications and can reveal overlooked
factors.
20.Question
What new strategies could you explore for making this
decision?
Answer:I could experiment with a more intuitive approach or
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involve others in a team discussion to harness collective
wisdom.
Chapter 32 | Motivation/Habit Change| Q&A
1.Question
How can I set up reminders to change a habit or behavior
that I want to improve?
Answer:To set up reminders for habit change,
consider using various methods such as placing
post-it notes in visible areas like your mirror, setting
calendar alerts on your phone, or creating visual
cues, like a motivation bracelet. Ask yourself, 'What
reminders have worked for me in the past?' and
explore how these reminders can serve as daily
nudges towards consistency.
2.Question
What steps can I take to reconnect with my motivation
when I feel disheartened about my goals?
Answer:Visualize achieving your goals and immerse yourself
in that positive future experience. Reflect on how it would
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feel to celebrate your success, using vivid imagery to get a
taste of that accomplishment. Ask yourself, 'What does
success feel like, and what will I do to celebrate it when I
achieve my goal?'
3.Question
How can reflecting on regrets motivate me to take action
towards my goals?
Answer:Visualize your life without taking action toward your
goal—consider the feelings associated with regret and
unfulfilled dreams. Ask yourself, 'What will it cost me not to
pursue this goal? How will I feel looking back in five years if
I didn’t take this chance?'
4.Question
What rewards can I create for myself to stay motivated
during difficult tasks?
Answer:Identify a meaningful reward that excites you upon
completing a challenging step. It could be something simple
like a favorite treat or an enjoyable activity. Ask yourself,
'What is a compelling reward for staying on track?' and plan
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how you will celebrate reaching each milestone.
5.Question
How can I replace negative habits with healthier
alternatives?
Answer:To replace a negative habit, think about what new,
fulfilling activities you can introduce into your routine. For
example, if you want to reduce screen time, what hobbies or
interests can occupy that time instead? Reflect on this by
asking, 'If I stopped doing this, what positive activity could I
fill that time with?'
6.Question
How can accountability enhance my chances of
successfully changing a habit?
Answer:Accountability can provide essential encouragement
and check-ins that help you stay on track. Identify a reliable
partner who supports your goals and is willing to hold you
accountable. Ask yourself, 'Who in my life can I count on to
check in with me? What specific actions will I ask them to
help me stay accountable?'
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7.Question
What are some effective ways to define specific success
metrics for my goals?
Answer:Define success by creating measurable checkpoints
instead of vague statements. For instance, instead of saying
'I'm doing well with my diet,' specify 'I tracked my meals
daily this week.' Reflect on this by asking, 'What specific
actions did I take this week to track my progress?'
8.Question
How do I identify and manage triggers that lead to
negative thinking patterns?
Answer:Become more aware of what triggers negative
thoughts or behaviors by tracking them in a journal. This
reflection includes factors like time and environment. Ask,
'What patterns have I noticed that lead to negativity, and
what strategies can I implement to catch myself before
falling into those traps?'
9.Question
What strategies can I employ to manage obstacles or
challenges in changing my habits?
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Answer:Develop a proactive approach to obstacles by
anticipating challenges and brainstorming possible solutions
ahead of time. Ask yourself, 'What specific obstacles have I
faced in the past and how can I devise strategies to overcome
them before they arise again?'
10.Question
How can I use the power of visualizing my future
successes to inspire my actions today?
Answer:Visualization can create a powerful emotional
connection to your goals. Spend time imagining the details of
your success, including feelings and the environment
surrounding you. Consider the question, 'What does my ideal
future look like, and how do I feel when I achieve my goals?'
11.Question
What can I learn from other successful habit changes that
might apply to my situation?
Answer:Reflect on past successes, both your own and those
of others. Analyze what strategies worked and consider how
they could adapt to your current circumstances. Pose the
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question, 'What have I learned from others’ experiences that I
could apply to my habit change journey?'
12.Question
How will I celebrate each success along my journey of
habit change?
Answer:Plan specific ways to celebrate milestones, ensuring
that you acknowledge your progress. It could range from a
celebratory meal to sharing your achievement with friends.
Think about, 'What meaningful way can I recognize my hard
work and achievements as I progress?'
13.Question
What mindset shifts can help me embrace the process of
habit change more positively?
Answer:Reflect on the importance of perception in your
journey. Instead of viewing the change as a sacrifice, see it as
an opportunity for growth and improvement. Ask yourself,
'How can I reframe my thoughts to view challenges as steps
toward a brighter future rather than obstacles?'
14.Question
Why is it crucial to have a structured approach to
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changing habits?
Answer:Structured approaches provide clarity and a roadmap
for your goals, ensuring progress is measurable and methods
are consistent. Ask yourself, 'What systems can I implement
to track my progress and keep me focused on my change
goals?'
15.Question
How can I ensure I remain committed to my goals over
the long term?
Answer:Evaluate and adjust your approach regularly,
maintaining enthusiasm and accountability. Create a routine
for reassessing your motivations and goals. Ask, 'What can I
do regularly to ensure that my motivation remains high and
that I stay committed to my objectives?'
16.Question
What practical steps can I take immediately to begin my
habit change journey?
Answer:Identify one simple action to kickstart your journey,
such as setting up a reminder, creating a reward, or
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discussing your goals with an accountability partner. Reflect
on, 'What’s one step I can take today to initiate change and
foster my motivation for this habit?'
Chapter 33 | Challenge| Q&A
1.Question
What is the essence of positive challenge in coaching?
Answer:Positive challenge focuses on encouraging
clients to envision a better future and guiding them
to reach their fullest potential, rather than merely
pointing out past mistakes.
2.Question
How can coaches effectively challenge clients without
creating defensiveness?
Answer:Coaches can start with gentle strategies, such as
open questions, and escalate the challenge level only if
necessary, ensuring a supportive environment.
3.Question
Can you give an example of transforming a
confrontational statement into a positive challenge?
Answer:Instead of saying, 'That decision isn't going to get
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you where you want to go,' a better approach would be: 'Take
a minute and envision the future that you really want. Is this
decision going to get you there, or is there a better way?'
4.Question
What role does self-challenge play in coaching?
Answer:Self-challenge allows clients to reflect on their own
thoughts and decisions, fostering a sense of ownership and
responsibility for their actions.
5.Question
What are ownership questions and why are they
important?
Answer:Ownership questions encourage clients to take
responsibility for their past decisions and future actions,
promoting personal growth and accountability in conflict
situations.
6.Question
How can coaching observations help clients realize
inconsistencies in their statements?
Answer:By juxtaposing clients’ values and actions, coaches
can prompt them to reflect on their own inconsistencies,
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leading to greater self-awareness and insights.
7.Question
What is the difference between confrontation and naming
the issue?
Answer:Confrontation defines the actions as wrong, while
naming the issue presents the core issue without assigning
blame, allowing clients to explore solutions independently.
8.Question
How can transformational change be triggered during
coaching?
Answer:Transformational change often requires a significant
event that prompts clients to reassess their beliefs and habits,
leading to deeper self-reflection and growth.
9.Question
What strategies can coaches use to avoid adversarial
situations with clients?
Answer:Coaches should focus on naming issues neutrally,
using observations and open questions to prompt
self-discovery instead of placing blame.
10.Question
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How can understanding a client’s personality type aid in
the challenging process?
Answer:Knowing a client's personality type helps coaches
tailor their challenging techniques appropriately, ensuring
that the challenge resonates and does not cause
defensiveness.
11.Question
What method can be used to explore a client’s fears or
hesitations effectively?
Answer:Coaches can use open questions to invite clients to
unpack their fears, allowing them to confront what’s holding
them back in a safe manner.
12.Question
What is the purpose of coaching exercises like ownership
questions?
Answer:These exercises help coaches practice applying
ownership questions in real scenarios, enhancing their skills
in guiding clients towards accountability and resolution.
13.Question
In what ways can feedback be reframed to foster growth?
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Answer:By framing feedback as observations about
behaviors and their impacts rather than as judgment, coaches
can encourage clients to consider new perspectives and
reflection.
14.Question
Why is it important for coaches to create a safe context
when asking ownership questions?
Answer:Creating a safe context allows clients to feel
supported and open, increasing the likelihood that they will
engage in self-reflection and take responsibility for their
actions.
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Chapter 34 | Reframing/Perspective Change| Q&A
1.Question
What would you most regret if you took this road?
Answer:Looking back from the perspective of being
75 years old, the regret might be choosing comfort
over passion, letting fear of failure dictate my career
choices, or neglecting relationships that truly
mattered.
2.Question
What is the compelling reason to make this move?
Answer:The compelling reason might be the chance to align
with my life's purpose, to embrace a challenge that could lead
to personal growth, and ultimately to fulfillment.
3.Question
How important is this in the grand scheme of things?
Answer:In the context of my life, this decision affects my
relationships, impacts my sense of purpose, and contributes
to my overall wellbeing, thus playing a significant role in my
life.
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4.Question
What do you still need to feel confident that this course of
action is the right one?
Answer:Perhaps I need further information, support from
loved ones, or past experiences that affirm this decision,
which would bolster my confidence.
5.Question
If you had unlimited resources and knew you couldn't
fail, how would it change your perspective?
Answer:With unlimited resources and the certainty of
success, I would pursue my dream project fearlessly,
focusing solely on the impact and joy it could bring, rather
than worrying about obstacles.
6.Question
What will seem most crucial ten years from now when
you look back on this decision?
Answer:Ten years from now, the most crucial aspect may not
be the outcome of the decision itself but whether I took steps
toward my true aspirations and values.
7.Question
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How is this affecting your family, relationships, friends,
and others around you?
Answer:My current decision may be causing stress or
confusion within my family, impacting their emotional
wellbeing, and creating distance in friendships that rely on
open communication.
8.Question
What about this situation is under your control, and what
isn't?
Answer:I can control my reactions, choices, and the effort I
invest, while external factors like market conditions or
others' responses might be beyond my influence.
9.Question
What opportunity is here? How can this move you toward
your destiny?
Answer:This situation presents an opportunity to redefine my
goals and pursue growth that aligns with my core desires,
potentially leading me toward my true purpose.
10.Question
How would this look if you viewed it from your boss’s
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perspective?
Answer:From my boss's viewpoint, this situation may
highlight concerns about team dynamics, project impacts,
and potential profitability or goal achievement.
Chapter 35 | Reflection| Q&A
1.Question
What is your preferred reflective style, and how does it
enhance your learning process?
Answer:Identifying my preferred reflective style
helps create an optimal environment for
introspection. For instance, if I discover I reflect
best through writing alone, I can set aside quiet time
in a cozy corner with a journal. This focused
practice can lead to clearer insights and richer
learnings about my actions.
2.Question
Can you describe a past experience that significantly
influenced your perspective on life?
Answer:Reflecting on a challenging moment, like losing a
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pivotal job, allowed me to realize the importance of
resilience and adaptability. During this time, I journaled my
fears and hopes, leading to an invaluable understanding of
my strengths.
3.Question
What might be driving your current responses to
challenges you face?
Answer:Exploring my internal pressures, such as fear of
failure or the desire to please, often reveals deeper
motivational layers guiding my reactions. Recognizing these
feelings helps me address the root issues rather than just the
symptoms.
4.Question
How do you make your insights and changes stick after a
major breakthrough?
Answer:To ensure my breakthroughs are lasting, I adapt my
routines to incorporate new behaviors and regularly reflect on
my progress. For example, implementing weekly check-ins
with myself reinforces my commitment to change.
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5.Question
What are your emotions telling you about your current
situation?
Answer:When feeling anxious, I ask myself what that anxiety
represents. Is it a fear of judgment or uncertainty about the
future? Listening to these emotions can guide me in
understanding what areas need attention.
6.Question
When you think back to significant life experiences, what
clues did you overlook that could help you in future
situations?
Answer:In previous relationships, I overlooked signs of
miscommunication. By reflecting on these missed cues, I can
create strategies to enhance my awareness in future
interactions.
7.Question
What does your heart say when faced with a tough
decision?
Answer:My heart often nudges me towards
authenticity—reminding me of my core values. Tuning in to
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these feelings helps me align my decisions with what truly
matters to me.
8.Question
How can you visualize your ideal work situation to
understand your feelings about your current role?
Answer:Imagining a day at work where I feel energized and
fulfilled reveals alignments and misalignments in my role.
This visualization aids me in exploring needed changes.
9.Question
What universal principles can you derive from a recent
learning experience that could benefit others?
Answer:From a recent project failure, I learned about the
power of collaboration and open communication. Sharing
this principle emphasizes that collective efforts often lead to
better outcomes than isolated endeavors.
10.Question
What structures can you implement in your life to ensure
lasting change?
Answer:Building regular reflection sessions into my weekly
calendar can serve as a structure to reinforce the changes I
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want to sustain. Creating accountability, like sharing my
goals with a mentor, also solidifies my commitment.
Chapter 36 | Feedback and Evaluation| Q&A
1.Question
What did you do well in your recent coaching session?
Answer:Reflect on specific moments where you felt
confident or successful. For instance, consider a time
when your insights resonated deeply with the
coachee, sparking a moment of clarity or motivation
in them.
2.Question
How would you evaluate your progress toward your
personal coaching goals?
Answer:On a scale of one to ten, consider your growth as a
coach in terms of skills, client rapport, and outcomes.
Determine what specific actions could increase this score,
like further training or practice.
3.Question
What progress can we celebrate in your journey?
Answer:Acknowledge any achievements, no matter how
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small—perhaps achieving a milestone or gaining a new
perspective on a challenge. Celebration can empower you to
continue pushing forward.
4.Question
What adjustments do we need to make in our coaching
relationship?
Answer:Identify any gaps in communication or
understanding between you and your coachee. This could
involve altering your approach to better align with their
individual learning style or preferences.
5.Question
How does the emotional state of your coachee affect their
progress?
Answer:Pay attention to how your coachee feels after each
session. Understanding whether they leave feeling
overwhelmed, energized, or hopeful can guide you in
adjusting your coaching strategy.
6.Question
What is the challenge/affirmation balance like with your
coachee?
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Answer:Evaluate whether you are providing enough support
(affirmation) versus challenging your coachee to grow.
Finding the right mix can enhance their motivation and
development.
7.Question
Where could you tap into deeper issues with your
coachee?
Answer:Look beyond surface conversations. Explore topics
they might be hesitant to address that could reveal underlying
motivations or barriers to their progress.
8.Question
What specific action steps can you create for
improvement as a coach?
Answer:After self-evaluating, pinpoint at least one actionable
way to enhance your coaching practice, such as seeking
feedback from clients more regularly or experimenting with
new coaching techniques.
9.Question
Is this person feeling energized by your sessions?
Answer:Gauge their enthusiasm through direct questions
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about their experiences. If they express fatigue or disinterest,
brainstorm new methods to refresh the coaching dynamic.
10.Question
What might have made today’s session more effective?
Answer:Consider aspects like time management, the
relevance of topics discussed, or the amount of direct
interaction. Identifying these can lead to better-coached
sessions in the future.
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Chapter 37 | Small Business Coaching| Q&A
1.Question
Who is your target customer?
Answer:Identify the ideal person who benefits most
from your service.
2.Question
Describe your target customers: how old are they? Where
do they live?
Answer:Create a detailed profile, including their age,
location, profession, family life, hopes, dreams, and fears.
3.Question
What are three to five problems that your products or
services solve for your target customer?
Answer:List specific challenges or pain points your offerings
address.
4.Question
From the list above, what is the biggest problem your
products or services solve?
Answer:Pinpoint the most significant issue that resonates
with your customer.
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5.Question
What are three to five unique advantages of using your
company's products or services?
Answer:Highlight distinctive benefits that set your offerings
apart.
6.Question
From the list above, what is the greatest advantage of
using your products or services?
Answer:Select the most compelling advantage that would
attract customers.
7.Question
What are all the ways a prospect or customer can contact
you?
Answer:Enumerate communication channels like phone,
website, or in-person visits.
8.Question
From the list above, what makes the most strategic sense
as a person's first point of contact with your business?
Answer:Determine the most effective initial contact method.
9.Question
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Where are all the places you can use this marketing
message?
Answer:Think of various platforms and venues where you
can consistently deliver your marketing message.
Chapter 38 | Organizational Coaching| Q&A
1.Question
How does your life calling fit with the purpose of this
organization?
Answer:This question encourages individuals to
reflect on their personal mission and how it aligns
with the company's goals. It prompts a deeper
consideration of whether their work is meaningful
and fulfilling, fostering a sense of purpose that not
only benefits their career but also enhances the
organization’s mission.
2.Question
What do you want to accomplish here for yourself and for
the sake of the organization?
Answer:This question pushes individuals to set specific,
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dual-focused goals that emphasize personal development
while also considering their contributions to the organization.
It inspires a mindset of mutual benefit, highlighting that
individual success should contribute to collective progress.
3.Question
What drives you? What are you passionate about?
Answer:By exploring core motivations and passions, this
question helps uncover intrinsic factors that can enhance
engagement and performance. It can lead to a discussion
about aligning personal passion with organizational values,
resulting in higher job satisfaction and productivity.
4.Question
What is your purpose in wanting to create a coaching
culture in this organization?
Answer:This question prompts leaders to deeply consider
their motivations for implementing coaching. Understanding
the 'why' behind the initiative can clarify the vision and
ensure alignment with organizational goals, making the
coaching process more authentic and impactful.
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5.Question
What is the commitment level within this organization to
creating a coaching culture?
Answer:Assessing the commitment level helps leaders
identify the current readiness for change and the potential
resistance they may face. Understanding this can guide the
implementation strategy and identify stakeholders who can
champion the cause.
6.Question
Is this a good time for your organization to invest in new
processes and projects?
Answer:This question encourages leaders to evaluate external
and internal factors affecting the organization, ensuring that
the introduction of coaching is timely and aligned with other
initiatives, avoiding overwhelm or misplaced priorities.
7.Question
Where could we start with a pilot project? What criteria
would you use in designing that pilot?
Answer:By considering a pilot project, leaders can test the
effectiveness of the coaching initiative on a small scale. This
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question encourages critical thinking about the project's
goals, metrics for success, and how to create a continuous
feedback loop to assess progress.
8.Question
How would you get them on board? Who would you start
with?
Answer:This question emphasizes the necessity of buy-in
from leadership and key stakeholders for a coaching culture
to take root. It encourages strategic thinking about
influencing others and building a supportive network for the
initiative.
Chapter 39 | Career Coaching| Q&A
1.Question
What are you passionate about?
Answer:Reflect on the activities or subjects that
ignite your enthusiasm and energy, and think about
how they intersect with your career aspirations.
2.Question
What are your strengths, gifts, and key abilities?
Answer:Identify your unique talents and skills that set you
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apart, and consider how these can be leveraged in your
current or future job.
3.Question
What do you want to learn, and how do you want to
contribute?
Answer:Clarify your learning objectives and the impact you
wish to make in your professional life, ensuring alignment
with your core values.
4.Question
How much do you believe in their mission?
Answer:Evaluate your alignment with the organization's
goals and vision to ensure a shared purpose in your work.
5.Question
What are their real values?
Answer:Investigate the organization's core principles and
culture to determine if they resonate with your personal
values.
6.Question
Who would you work with?
Answer:Consider the people you will collaborate with and
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their influence on your job satisfaction; a supportive team
can make a significant difference.
7.Question
How much does the organization need me?
Answer:Assess your potential contributions to the
organization and how your skills can fill critical gaps.
8.Question
How much do I need the organization?
Answer:Recognize the benefits and opportunities the
organization provides for your professional growth and
stability.
9.Question
What was your original vision when you came here? How
has it changed?
Answer:Reflect on your initial goals and aspirations within
your role, noting any shifts that have occurred over time.
10.Question
What parts of your current job tasks are directly related
to your vision?
Answer:Identify elements of your job that connect with your
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long-term goals, and evaluate their importance to your
overall satisfaction.
11.Question
How could you increase the vision-related tasks, and
decrease the others?
Answer:Consider strategies for shifting your focus toward
tasks that align with your vision, enhancing your engagement
and fulfillment at work.
12.Question
What would you like to be doing five years from now?
Answer:Visualize your ideal job or role in the future, and
articulate specific responsibilities and achievements you
aspire to.
13.Question
What part of that could you begin doing now?
Answer:Identify actionable steps you can start today that will
move you closer to your five-year vision.
14.Question
How do you need to plan and prepare so you can be in
that role in five years?
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Answer:Outline a strategic plan that includes skills
development, networking, and experiences necessary to reach
your desired position.
15.Question
What would you say are your best strengths?
Answer:Take stock of your top attributes that contribute to
your effectiveness in the workplace.
16.Question
What percentage of the time are you operating out of
your strengths?
Answer:Reflect on your daily work and evaluate whether you
are primarily utilizing your strengths or if there's room for
improvement.
17.Question
How could you increase that, or creatively apply your
strengths to today's challenges?
Answer:Think of innovative ways to incorporate your
strengths into your current responsibilities, enhancing both
performance and job satisfaction.
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Chapter 40 | Organizing Coach (Professional
Organizer)| Q&A
1.Question
What does being organized look like to you?
Answer:Visualize a space where everything has its
place; documents are neatly filed, closets are not
overflowing, and you can easily find what you need.
Perhaps it's a clutter-free office that allows for
maximum productivity, or a serene home
environment that promotes relaxation.
2.Question
What motivates you to get organized? What makes you
want to start now?
Answer:Think about a moment when you felt overwhelmed
by chaos. The desire for peace of mind, efficiency in your
daily tasks, or even the prospect of achieving personal goals
could provide that motivation. Connecting it to a deadline or
event in your life may spur immediate action.
3.Question
What is it costing you to be disorganized?
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Answer:Consider the time wasted searching for items, the
stress caused by clutter, or missed opportunities because of
inefficiencies. This cost could manifest as lost productivity,
heightened anxiety, or even financial implications from not
managing bills on time.
4.Question
How did a previously well-organized area become that
way?
Answer:Reflect on the strategies and habits you employed to
achieve that organization. Was it creating a routine,
implementing a specific sorting system, or getting help from
a friend? Acknowledging this can provide a roadmap for
your current disorganization.
5.Question
What is your number one obstacle to getting organized?
Answer:Is it a lack of time, uncertainty about where to start,
or perhaps emotional attachments to your belongings?
Identifying the primary barrier can help in formulating a plan
to overcome it.
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6.Question
Who in your life can support you in this organization
journey?
Answer:Think of friends, family, or coworkers who are
organized themselves or willing to help. Their support can
offer encouragement and accountability as you navigate this
process.
7.Question
If you were to "eat the elephant" of organization, what
part would you tackle first and why?
Answer:Start with a manageable area, such as a cluttered
desk or a messy closet, that you can realistically address in a
short period. This focus can build momentum and give you
the satisfaction of completing a task.
8.Question
What is the compelling reason for doing a specific
organizing task?
Answer:Ask yourself how completing this task will relieve
stress, improve your efficiency, or enhance your overall
quality of life. The inner motivation will keep you focused.
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9.Question
What is the worst that could happen if a task doesn't get
completed?
Answer:Visualize the potential consequences; whether it’s
missing an important deadline or continuing to feel
overwhelmed by your surroundings. This reflection can
strengthen your resolve to act.
10.Question
Can this task be delegated? Who could handle it close to
your level of efficiency?
Answer:Consider your network; someone capable, perhaps a
colleague or even a family member, might manage specific
tasks effectively, freeing you to focus on what you do best.
11.Question
Do you love this item?
Answer:Emphasize the emotional connection; a beloved item
can bring joy and memories, distinguishing it from mere
clutter that may weigh you down.
12.Question
Are you ambivalent about this item?
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Answer:Explore the reasons why you’re unsure—does it hold
sentimental value, or do you feel guilty letting it go?
Understanding this can guide your decision.
13.Question
Can you let go of this item? How would you do it?
Answer:Consider your options for parting with the item,
whether through giving it away, selling it, or responsibly
disposing of it, knowing that it can benefit someone else.
14.Question
Do you truly need this item? Can it be stored more
efficiently?
Answer:Challenge the necessity of the item by assessing its
role in your life and exploring smarter storage solutions that
could ease your burden.
15.Question
What did you learn from the sorting process?
Answer:Reflect on insights gained; perhaps you discovered
items that no longer serve you or realized you have space for
the things you truly value. This learning can fuel future
organizational efforts.
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Chapter 41 | Coaching Writers (Book Coaching)|
Q&A
1.Question
What is the one thing you most want to say to your
readers?
Answer:Identify the core message of your book that
encapsulates your passion and intention. This
statement should resonate deeply within you and
serve as the guiding principle for your writing.
2.Question
Who do you want to say it to? Who is your target
audience?
Answer:Understand your audience's demographics, interests,
and struggles. This clarity will help tailor your message and
make it more engaging for those you wish to reach.
3.Question
What is the felt need that your message addresses?
Answer:Break down the emotional or practical challenges
your readers are facing. This will allow you to create a
connection and ensure your book offers viable solutions.
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4.Question
What is the impact your message will have on the reader?
Answer:Consider how your words will inspire, provoke
thought, or even change lives. Think about the
transformation you wish to facilitate through your writing.
5.Question
What will you say that has not been said before?
Answer:Reflect on your unique perspective or experience
that sets your message apart. This could stem from personal
stories, insights, or research that adds richness to your
narrative.
6.Question
What life experience will you draw from in
communicating your message?
Answer:Leverage your own journey to create authenticity in
your writing. Your experiences can serve as powerful
anecdotes that engage your audience.
7.Question
How would you summarize your message in 50 words? In
100 words?
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Answer:Practice succinctness. Crafting these summaries will
sharpen your focus on the essential ideas and themes you
wish to convey in your book.
8.Question
How will you hook your reader's rapt attention in the
first paragraph... and keep them hooked throughout the
book?
Answer:Develop a gripping opening that poses intriguing
questions or paints vivid scenarios. Maintain interest through
a well-structured narrative that creates suspense or builds
momentum.
9.Question
What are your natural spheres of influence for selling
books? Who else?
Answer:Identify your existing networks—friends, family,
colleagues, social media contacts—who may support or
promote your book, as well as potential partnerships with
influencers or organizations.
10.Question
How involved do you want to be in marketing your book?
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How will this impact your lifestyle?
Answer:Decide on your level of engagement in the
marketing process and how it fits into your current lifestyle.
Understand that promoting your book can demand significant
time and energy.
11.Question
If you are actually able to achieve this dream of
publishing your book, what will that get you?
Answer:Visualize the rewards of achieving your writing
goals—be it personal fulfillment, financial gain, or the ability
to inspire others. This vision can fuel your motivation along
the writing journey.
Chapter 42 | Wellness Coaching| Q&A
1.Question
How can you describe your overall health and sense of
well-being?
Answer:This question encourages self-reflection on
one’s current health status and provides a baseline
for further coaching discussions.
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2.Question
If you continue in your current state of health, what do
you envision your health will be like in five or ten years?
Answer:This prompts the client to think long-term and
understand the consequences of their current health choices,
fostering motivation for change.
3.Question
What motivates you to make dietary changes now?
Answer:Identifying the current motivators can help sustain
commitment to health changes, whether they stem from
personal goals, health scares, or lifestyle aspirations.
4.Question
How many servings of vegetables do you consume
weekly?
Answer:This question emphasizes the importance of nutrition
and encourages clients to reflect on their eating habits more
critically.
5.Question
What does your daily margin look like? What’s your
stress level?
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Answer:Assessing stress levels is key to understanding
overall wellness; a high stress level can significantly detract
from one’s health.
6.Question
What is a realistic clothing size that you aspire to? How
long has it been since you wore that size?
Answer:This helps clients set tangible and realistic health
goals, reinforcing body positivity while encouraging
progress.
7.Question
Imagining you’re truly healthy, what does your life look
like?
Answer:Visualizing a healthy lifestyle can act as a
motivating factor, making the desired change more relatable
and achievable.
8.Question
On a scale of one to ten, how satisfied are you with your
well-being in different life areas?
Answer:This question uses a scale for a quick assessment
that enables clients to express satisfaction across various
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domains, pinpointing areas needing attention.
9.Question
If you could change one area of your life tomorrow, which
would it be and why?
Answer:This encourages prioritization and can lead to
actionable goals, helping clients focus their energy where it
matters most.
10.Question
What change would yield significant results with minimal
effort?
Answer:This can help clients identify quick wins, which
fosters confidence and builds momentum for bigger changes.
11.Question
How committed are you to walking 45 minutes a day, five
days a week? What obstacles might hinder this
commitment?
Answer:Identifying commitment levels and potential
obstacles prepares clients for making realistic lifestyle
changes.
12.Question
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What would it take for you to eliminate soda from your
diet?
Answer:This encourages clients to think critically about their
habits and the steps required to achieve meaningful dietary
changes.
13.Question
What changes must occur for you to go to bed by 10:00
PM?
Answer:This focuses on establishing healthy sleep patterns,
essential for overall wellness and energy levels.
14.Question
What type of exercise appeals to you, and how could you
incorporate more movement into your routine?
Answer:This question ties personal interest in fitness with
actionable strategies, making exercise a more enjoyable part
of the client’s life.
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Chapter 43 | Relationship Coaching| Q&A
1.Question
What are the facts of your situation?
Answer:Facts are neutral statements about what
actually happened, agreed upon by both parties.
They eliminate assumptions about intent.
2.Question
How did you interpret the words or actions that affected
you?
Answer:Thoughts involve personal interpretations and
assumptions about the facts, shedding light on how you
perceive the situation.
3.Question
Can you express your core feeling in a single word?
Answer:Feelings should be owned personally—identify how
you feel, such as anger, sadness, or joy, without attributing it
to someone else's actions.
4.Question
What requests can you make to improve future
communications?
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Answer:Instead of placing blame, frame future requests
positively. For example, 'In the future, this would work better
for me if we could...'
5.Question
How can you embrace humility in reflecting on your
feelings?
Answer:Shift from a mindset of 'you made me feel' to a
position of ownership with questions like 'What did I make
up about that situation?'
6.Question
How can past pain propel you toward a thriving future?
Answer:Use experiences of brokenness as a catalyst for
personal growth and transformation into a thriving, more
aware individual.
Chapter 44 | Coaching Ministry Leaders| Q&A
1.Question
What season of life are you currently in, and how is it
affecting your ministry?
Answer:Reflect on your current life stage and
consider the unique challenges and opportunities it
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presents. Are you in a season of growth, burnout, or
reevaluation of your call?
2.Question
What message or truth about your identity does God
want you to embrace?
Answer:Consider the central truth of who God says you are.
It may influence your perception of your ministerial capacity
and personal worth.
3.Question
How have you integrated rest and refreshment into your
life?
Answer:Reflect on your Sabbath practices and explore ways
to intentionally incorporate rejuvenating habits into your
routine.
4.Question
If others modeled their lives after yours, how would that
impact your congregation?
Answer:Imagine your lifestyle—work-life balance, stress
levels, and joy—reflected in your church. What changes
would you hope to see?
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5.Question
What would it mean for you and your community if your
church remained as it is for the next few years?
Answer:Consider the implications for spiritual growth,
community outreach, and your personal fulfillment in
ministry.
6.Question
What unique vision do you believe God wants to
accomplish through your ministry?
Answer:Think deeply about your church's mission and the
specific calling God has placed on your heart for your
congregation.
7.Question
What does success look like for you in your ministry?
Answer:Define your effectiveness metrics; is it measured by
attendance, spiritual growth, or community impact?
8.Question
How are you intentionally developing leaders within your
church?
Answer:Evaluate your efforts to empower and equip others
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for leadership and ministry roles.
9.Question
What are the small growth steps you've been observing
among your group members?
Answer:Focus on the incremental spiritual growth rather than
just major transformations.
10.Question
How do you balance your personal life with your ministry
responsibilities?
Answer:Assess the equilibrium of your relationships, work,
and family commitments, and notice any areas needing
attention.
11.Question
What could be the purpose of the challenges you are
currently facing?
Answer:Seek to identify a divine purpose in your pain; look
for growth opportunities in your adversity.
12.Question
How can you change your core beliefs to better respond to
your circumstances?
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Answer:Recognize that shifting your identity can lead to
transformative change in how you deal with challenges.
13.Question
What drives your responses to difficult situations?
Answer:Delve into motivations and underlying beliefs that
shape your reactions. What inner conflicts need resolution?
14.Question
How is this challenging experience preparing you for
your future calling?
Answer:Reflect on the lessons learned and how they align
with God's greater purpose for your life.
15.Question
What does God want from you in this moment of
adversity?
Answer:Ask for wisdom and guidance regarding personal
growth areas that require submission to God's will.
16.Question
What expectations do you have going into this marriage
coaching process?
Answer:Clarify hopes and expectations to ensure both
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partners are aligned in their coaching journey.
17.Question
What’s one small change you could make right now to
improve your relationship?
Answer:Identify manageable steps to foster growth and
connection between partners.
18.Question
What are you most grateful for in your current
relationship?
Answer:Acknowledge positive aspects that strengthen your
bond and encourage further development.
Chapter 45 | Cross-Cultural Coaching| Q&A
1.Question
What unique challenges arise in cross-cultural coaching?
Answer:Cross-cultural coaching requires a high
degree of self-awareness and recognition of one’s
own cultural assumptions. Coaches must be aware
of the potential Western bias towards individual
responsibility and self-actualization, while many
cultures prioritize community loyalty and sacrifice.
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Embracing humility and flexibility is crucial for
effective learning and understanding of different
cultural paradigms.
2.Question
How can coaches maintain a productive coaching
environment when dealing with cultural
misunderstandings?
Answer:Coaches should approach cultural obstacles with
curiosity and utilize open-ended questions to promote
understanding. Positive-framed questions like “What has
been valuable to you in this session?” encourage dialogue
and build trust, which helps navigate complex cultural
dynamics.
3.Question
What strategies can cross-cultural coaches use to help
clients reflect on their own cultural paradigms?
Answer:Effective questions include asking how a situation is
typically handled in the client's culture, or how the values of
both their organization and personal beliefs apply to specific
scenarios. This encourages clients to reconsider their cultural
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framework and discover new perspectives.
4.Question
What is the significance of storytelling in non-Western
cultures during coaching?
Answer:Storytelling is often respected in non-Western
cultures. Coaches should use personal stories thoughtfully,
ensuring to ask clients how the story resonates with them or
what lessons they draw from it, to bridge understanding
across cultural contexts.
5.Question
What open questions can coaches use to address cultural
pressures clients may face?
Answer:Examples include: "What cultural pressures make it
difficult for you to take action?" and "What do you stand to
lose or gain by challenging the accepted norms in your
situation?" These questions can help clients articulate their
conflicts and explore their options.
6.Question
How do sending organizations affect the coaching
experience in a cross-cultural setting?
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Answer:Coaching is influenced by the values and norms of
the client's sending organization, which can differ from the
client’s culture and the context they operate in. Coaches must
be aware of these layers of cultural complexity to set
effective coaching objectives.
7.Question
What role does self-awareness play in effective
cross-cultural coaching?
Answer:Self-awareness allows coaches to identify and adjust
their biases while understanding their client's cultural
context. This understanding fosters a more empathetic and
supportive coaching relationship, essential for meaningful
cross-cultural interactions.
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Chapter 46 | Additional Resources| Q&A
1.Question
What essential skills should one focus on when starting
their coaching journey?
Answer:A good starting point for your coaching
journey includes mastering the fundamental skills
outlined in 'Leadership Coaching.' Focus on
listening actively, asking open-ended questions,
building support systems, and understanding the
underlying principles of coaching. These skills will
help you facilitate growth and transformation in
your clients.
2.Question
How can reframing techniques impact a client's
perspective?
Answer:Reframing techniques can significantly shift a
client’s viewpoint by encouraging them to see situations in
new ways. For example, if a client views a failure as a dead
end, reframing can assist them in seeing it as a learning
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opportunity instead. This shift can empower clients, help
them regain control, and inspire creativity in
problem-solving.
3.Question
What is the significance of transitions in a person's life
according to the text?
Answer:Transitions are significant because they reflect the
natural cycles of life. Instead of resisting periods of inward
retreat or unproductiveness, embracing these transitions can
lead to personal transformation and a deeper understanding
of one's purpose. Recognizing that even difficult seasons
contribute to our growth can empower individuals to
persevere through challenges.
4.Question
How can coaches assist clients during seasons of suffering
or transition?
Answer:Coaches can support clients in navigating seasons of
suffering by helping them to uncover the lessons and growth
opportunities within these experiences. By facilitating
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reflective conversations, coaches can guide clients to
embrace their current situations, fostering resilience and
understanding that these challenges are part of the journey
toward fulfilling their greater purpose.
5.Question
What role do purpose and calling play in a client's life
transitions?
Answer:Purpose and calling are central to navigating life
transitions, as they provide a framework for understanding
the shifts in focus that individuals experience. By coaching
clients to clarify their vision and connect with their calling,
coaches can help them to find meaning and direction even
during uncertain times.
6.Question
In what ways can listening skills enhance the coaching
process?
Answer:Active listening is crucial in coaching as it builds
trust, ensures understanding, and encourages clients to open
up more fully. When clients feel heard, they are more likely
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to explore their thoughts and feelings deeply, leading to
greater insights and breakthroughs in the coaching process.
7.Question
What practical outcomes can coaches expect from
utilizing the strategies from 'Coaching Questions'?
Answer:By incorporating the strategies from 'Coaching
Questions,' coaches can expect practical outcomes such as
improved client engagement, enhanced problem-solving
capabilities, and stronger client commitment to their goals.
The techniques help create a safe space for exploration,
allowing clients to uncover their own solutions and
pathways.
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Coaching Questions Quiz and Test
Check the Correct Answer on Bookey Website
Chapter 1 | Why Ask?| Quiz and Test
1.Asking questions in coaching is valuable as it
empowers individuals to engage creatively with
their circumstances.
2.The role of a coach during questioning is to assert
dominance and provide all the answers.
3.In coaching, developing leadership capacity involves
encouraging coachees to contemplate solutions for their
problems.
Chapter 2 | Become a Master of Asking| Quiz and
Test
1.The 'Master of Asking' program is a one-week
course designed to teach coaching skills.
2.The debriefing process involves reflection from both the
coachee and the coach after a coaching session.
3.An additional ten-week program is suggested for those
wanting to enhance their life coaching skills.
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Chapter 4 | A Marketing Plan in Five Questions|
Quiz and Test
1.In designing a coaching practice, it is important to
identify what services people are willing to pay for.
2.The target audience for a coaching practice should be
completely unrelated to the services being offered.
3.To successfully pitch your services, you do not need a
strategy on how potential clients will discover you.
Chapter 5 | Starting Significant Conversations| Quiz
and Test
1.Coaching questions can transform everyday
conversations into more meaningful discussions.
2.Icebreakers should only consist of surface-level inquiries to
maintain comfort during initial conversations.
3.Significant questions can be used in various contexts like
personal discussions and networking but should not be
used with close family or friends.
Chapter 6 | Effective Comp Sessions| Quiz and Test
1.Coaches do not need to build a connection with
prospective clients during a comp session.
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Chapter 7 | Client Profile Form| Quiz and Test
1.Many coaches create a personal profile for clients
before their first appointment, tailored to specific
coaching styles.
2.A Client Profile Form is not useful for identifying a client's
values and priorities.
3.The process of creating a Client Profile Form includes
adding standard contact information fields for a
professional touch.
Chapter 8 | Coaching Session Structure| Quiz and
Test
1.The opening phase of a coaching session should
always begin with a closed question to keep the
focus narrow.
2.A progress report during a coaching session typically lasts
three to five minutes to discuss previous action steps.
3.The final section of a coaching session is focused entirely
on discussing new topics rather than reviewing previous
action items.
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Chapter 9 | Session Prep Form| Quiz and Test
1.The Session Prep Form helps eliminate the need
for progress reports during coaching sessions.
2.The Session Prep Form should only include questions
about accomplishments, ignoring challenges and
accountability.
3.Creating a Personalized Session Prep Form involves
selecting questions from designated categories to tailor the
prep form to individual clients.
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Chapter 10 | Choosing a Coach Training School|
Quiz and Test
1.Choosing a coaching certification program
requires considering who you want to coach.
2.You do not need to evaluate the cost of a coaching program
when selecting one.
3.It is crucial to ensure that the values of your selected
coaching school align with your personal principles.
Chapter 11 | Conversational Models| Quiz and Test
1.It is the coach's responsibility to set the agenda for
a coaching session.
2.The GROW Model stands for Goals, Reality, Options, and
Will.
3.Coaches should attempt to master multiple conversational
models simultaneously for better effectiveness.
Chapter 12 | The GROW Model| Quiz and Test
1.The GROW model stands for Goal, Reality Check,
Options, and Will.
2.In the Options stage of the GROW model, the coach should
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Chapter 13 | The Coaching Funnel| Quiz and Test
1.The Coaching Funnel starts with identifying
multiple options for the coaching goal.
2.The 'Listening for Significance' technique is used to
identify key points in the client's discussion during the
goal-setting phase.
3.In the exploration phase of the Coaching Funnel, it is
important to focus only on external factors related to the
goal.
Chapter 14 | The Coaching Agenda| Quiz and Test
1.The 'O.P.U.S.' acronym in coaching stands for
Ownership, Passion, Urgency, and Significance.
2.According to the summary, the coaching agenda
emphasizes that the goal should be primarily guided by the
coach's vision rather than the client's.
3.Asking open questions during coaching conversations
helps clients identify deeper issues and fosters trust.
Chapter 15 | The Life Wheel| Quiz and Test
1.The Life Wheel assessment includes five essential
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Chapter 16 | Defining the Problem| Quiz and Test
1.In coaching, it is crucial to identify the right
problem, as clients often focus on managing time
and tasks without addressing underlying personal
needs or hidden values.
2.Clients should primarily change their circumstances rather
than their internal attitudes to effectively address their
problems.
3.Coaches must discern whether a problem is a one-time
issue or a recurring pattern, as this affects how they
approach the coaching process.
Chapter 17 | SMART Goals| Quiz and Test
1.SMART Goals are only focused on the means of
achieving them.
2.One of the components of SMART Goals is to set a firm
deadline for achieving the goal.
3.The relevance of a goal is not necessary for it to be
considered a SMART Goal.
Chapter 18 | Probing Questions| Quiz and Test
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Chapter 19 | Options| Quiz and Test
1.Coaches should provide solutions to their coachees
to help them develop options.
2.The Ideal Future Technique involves visualizing the best
possible outcomes to help coachees move past limitations.
3.Encouraging coachees to generate only two or three
solutions is sufficient for effective problem-solving.
Chapter 20 | Action Steps| Quiz and Test
1.The model for taking action steps in coaching is
structured as Could Do > Want To > Will Do.
2.In the action steps model, the 'Want To' phase is optional
and can be skipped without consequences.
3.Effective action steps should lack clarity and specific
deadlines to encourage flexibility in coaching.
Chapter 21 | Identifying Obstacles| Quiz and Test
1.Obstacles are only external, such as time and
money, when it comes to achieving goals.
2.Identifying emotions and underlying beliefs is crucial when
exploring internal obstacles to change.
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Chapter 22 | Overcoming Obstacles: Seven
Strategies| Quiz and Test
1.The first strategy for overcoming obstacles is to
encourage individuals to envision a scenario where
their obstacle is removed.
2.The third strategy involves reflecting solely on past failures
to find solutions to current obstacles.
3.Exploring hypothetical scenarios is used to challenge
deep-seated beliefs without commitment and enables new
perspectives.
Chapter 23 | Design: Who Am I?| Quiz and Test
1.A coach's role is to facilitate the conscious
identification of various life cues that reveal one's
purpose.
2.Personality assessments like DiSC or Myers-Briggs are
unhelpful for understanding one's innate design.
3.Reflecting on past roles can help individuals clarify what
responsibilities they enjoy or find draining.
Chapter 24 | Passion: What Motivates Me?| Quiz
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and Test
1.Identifying your core passions involves
recognizing issues or causes that provoke strong
emotional responses.
2.The chapter suggests that understanding your values is
irrelevant for personal development.
3.Creating a clear vision of an ideal life is part of the
exercises suggested in the chapter to help identify
motivation and desired changes.
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Chapter 25 | Experience: Life's Prep School| Quiz
and Test
1.Experiences in life contribute to understanding
one's life purpose.
2.Failures are insignificant and do not contribute to future
success.
3.Analyzing Destiny Experiences helps individuals gain
clarity on their calling.
Chapter 26 | Calling: Serving the Greater Good|
Quiz and Test
1.Calling is a commission that comes solely from
personal introspection without any external
influences.
2.Many people find their calling through personal
experiences of injustice.
3.Identifying the people or causes you feel drawn to serve is
not important in finding your calling.
Chapter 27 | The Gap: What's Missing?| Quiz and
Test
1.The coaching process focuses solely on developing
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skills without considering the client's needs and
expectations.
2.The Life Wheel Assessment is a tool used to measure
satisfaction in various life areas.
3.The 'Take It or Leave It' exercise involves assessing how
aligned one's real life is with their ideal life through a
categorized list.
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Chapter 28 | Tolerating/Coping| Quiz and Test
1.Recognizing and addressing things we tolerate can
drain our energy.
2.The chapter suggests that clients should only cope with
energy drains instead of finding constructive solutions.
3.The chapter encourages individuals to accept unchangeable
circumstances and alter their inner attitudes.
Chapter 29 | Self-Care| Quiz and Test
1.Self-care is essential for pursuing one's calling in
life.
2.Maintaining a high-stress lifestyle has no emotional impact
on daily tasks.
3.Role-playing difficult conversations can help build
confidence in setting boundaries.
Chapter 30 | Affirmation| Quiz and Test
1.Affirmation can come naturally or requires
discipline according to the summary.
2.Celebrating Progress only focuses on future goals and does
not consider past accomplishments.
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Chapter 31 | Decision Making| Quiz and Test
1.Developing the ability to make great decisions is
essential for a purposeful life.
2.Team decision-making is not influenced by diverse
perspectives.
3.When assessing new commitments, it’s unnecessary to
consider current responsibilities.
Chapter 32 | Motivation/Habit Change| Quiz and
Test
1.Visualization techniques can help clients reconnect
with their motivation by imagining their goals and
celebrating success.
2.Using only negative reinforcement, such as evoking
feelings of regret, is sufficient for motivating clients to
change their habits.
3.Establishing a reward system is an ineffective way to
maintain motivation in pursuit of personal goals.
Chapter 33 | Challenge| Quiz and Test
1.Coaches focus on past mistakes rather than future
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Chapter 34 | Reframing/Perspective Change| Quiz
and Test
1.Coaching provides clients with a new perspective
on their lives.
2.The perspective of time encourages clients to only focus on
immediate implications of their decisions.
3.The perspective of balance involves recognizing gratitude
and success in life.
Chapter 35 | Reflection| Quiz and Test
1.Coaching leaders often requires fostering the
discipline of reflection to enhance their learning.
2.Identifying a client's preferred reflective style is not crucial
for effective coaching.
3.Following the emotion can sometimes lead to uncovering
underlying truths that influence a client's decisions.
Chapter 36 | Feedback and Evaluation| Quiz and
Test
1.Coachees should celebrate milestones along the
way to their coaching goals.
2.Coaches should avoid seeking feedback from clients as it
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Chapter 37 | Small Business Coaching| Quiz and
Test
1.In small business coaching, the personal and
business aspects are treated as separate entities.
2.Meaningful marketing focuses on honest and strategic
content that aligns with both business values and customer
respect.
3.Small business coaches do not need to develop a marketing
message as it is not crucial for business success.
Chapter 38 | Organizational Coaching| Quiz and
Test
1.Organizational coaching recognizes the
organization's culture as a defining characteristic
that influences behavior and performance.
2.The success of organizational coaching is solely dependent
on the coach's personal skills and experience.
3.Engaging the most motivated individuals in an organization
is a key strategy for fostering a culture of coaching.
Chapter 39 | Career Coaching| Quiz and Test
1.Career coaching helps align a client's passions,
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Chapter 40 | Organizing Coach (Professional
Organizer)| Quiz and Test
1.Organizing coaches focus on enhancing a client's
energy and productivity by creating improved
systems for managing home and work lives.
2.The initial assessment questions for clients include
inquiries about their favorite color and food preferences.
3.Rhonda Ruckel is primarily recognized for her work as a
coach trainer and not as a Professional Organizer.
Chapter 41 | Coaching Writers (Book Coaching)|
Quiz and Test
1.Coaching writers involves aiding aspiring authors
in transforming their ideas into publishable works.
2.Understanding various paths such as e-books,
self-publishing, and traditional publishing is not a focus for
coaching writers.
3.Personal gains from publishing a book are not considered
during the coaching process for writers.
Chapter 42 | Wellness Coaching| Quiz and Test
1.Wellness coaching focuses only on physical health.
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Chapter 43 | Relationship Coaching| Quiz and Test
1.Relationship coaching focuses solely on
individuals, not couples.
2.The 'Facts/Thoughts/Feelings' tool aims to help clients
communicate better by separating facts from interpretations
and emotions.
3.In relationship coaching, clients are encouraged to shift
blame onto their partners during discussions.
Chapter 44 | Coaching Ministry Leaders| Quiz and
Test
1.Ministry leaders often encounter demands that
only pertain to their professional lives and do not
affect their personal lives.
2.Coaching relationships can provide essential support and
perspective for pastors who often lack meaningful support
outside their congregations.
3.Transformational coaching does not aim for deep change,
but rather focuses only on tactical changes.
Chapter 45 | Cross-Cultural Coaching| Quiz and
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Chapter 46 | Additional Resources| Quiz and Test
1.The book 'Coaching Questions' is based on the
Coaching Funnel conversational model.
2.The Master Coach Series contains five CDs with coaching
demonstrations.
3.Coaching Transitions emphasizes the avoidance of
transitional periods in coaching.
