weren’t honest, even if he’d been stealing her money, even if he’d lied all along, her family had
to be alive because she’d wanted to send them money, she’d tried, she’d hunched over the
sewing machine for so many hours, so many days, so many weeks, always imagining her
brothers eating grapes, her mama pouring out grains of wheat, her sister with a new ribbon in
her hair . . .
“It’s true,” Signora Luciano hissed. “They died right after you left home. Some fever, I
guess. Or the malaria. Pietro had a letter about it. He knew, but even he didn’t tell you. He was
enjoying it too much, you batting your eyes at him and giving him all your money. ... He had a
lot of money to go out drinking with, didn’t he?”
“No!” Bella wailed again. “Pietro, he—”
But she was too choked up to say anything else. She couldn’t stand another minute of being
near this horrible woman, listening to these horrible words. She whirled around, grabbed the
doorknob, stormed out of the apartment. The darkness of the landing enveloped her, but she
could still hear the Luciano baby crying—louder now, as if he’d taken on her pain along with
his own. She clutched the railing and raced down the stairs, out the front door. Out on the
sidewalk she stepped in snow, the crystals of ice crunching beneath her stockings, sliding up
against the bare skin of her legs. For the first time, she stopped, seeing the danger in the icy
glitter. She had no shoes on, no coat.
What does it matter ... ? Your family is dead. Signora Luciano’s cruel voice seemed to echo up
and down the street, off the fire escapes, the pavement, the walls. Such a cold place, New York
City, so cruel . . .
Bella didn’t know that she’d pitched herself forward into the snow until she felt someone
lifting her up. It was Serefina, placing Bella’s boots on her feet, wrapping a blanket around her
shoulders.
“Rocco sent me,” the little girl said. “He says to come back.”
“No,” Bella said, the word coming out like a sob. “It isn’t true, don’t you see? I can’t stay in a
room with a lie like that.”
Serefina stared up at her, old-lady wisdom in her little-girl eyes.
“Then keep moving,” she said. “Keep moving or you’ll freeze.”
If I freeze to death and my family is dead, then we’ll all be dead in heaven together, Bella thought.
But she couldn’t let herself believe that her family was dead; they needed her to stay alive and
make money so they would stay alive too. She stumbled to her feet, because doing otherwise
would be like admitting that Signora Luciano was right, that her family was dead.
“Leave me alone,” she told Serefina, her words as slurred as a drunk’s.
She lurched away down the street, frozen puddles cracking beneath her feet. She had no
plans, no destination in mind. Nightmarish faces leered at her out of alleyways and she took off
running, blindly, desperately, terrified. She remembered the stories she’d heard on the boat
about girls captured and sold into white slavery, girls used by horrible men for horrible deeds.
“Mama wouldn’t want that to happen to me,” she sobbed, and she ran harder, faster. She’d
stop and collapse against a building to catch her breath, and then something would frighten
her again: a shadow on a wall, a cruel voice still echoing in her head. Your family is dead. . . .
That, she couldn’t run away from. But she tried. All night long she tried, darting down
alleys, stumbling over bricks, falling and struggling back up over and over and over again. She
was surprised to see the first rays of daylight fall across the tall buildings, surprised that such a
thing as daylight still existed.